Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Married 2 years. DHs family forgot our anniversary. Mine remembered.

564 replies

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 13:45

DH's family forgot our anniversary, only been married 2 years. They remember all other important dates. But no effort for us. My family all remembered first thing in the morning and sent us both messages.

Should i bring this up to DH? I just want to tell my in laws where to stick it!!

Could this be my chance to distance myself from them? My get out of jail free card? I never liked them from the beginning.

OP posts:
Mrsgreen100 · 13/12/2023 21:09

Really !not a thing ,it's just for the two of you
susp it’s a deeper issue for you re their behaviour towards you tbh
let it go
and celebrate yourself

Frasers · 13/12/2023 21:25

Mrsgreen100 · 13/12/2023 21:09

Really !not a thing ,it's just for the two of you
susp it’s a deeper issue for you re their behaviour towards you tbh
let it go
and celebrate yourself

Really, that’s interesting, I always consider if I see someone behaving unreasonably, that they are likely to be the problem,

pineapplesundae · 13/12/2023 21:29

Why would you want to create tension between your husband and his family over something like this? Sounds like you may be the one who needs to take a hard look at yourself. And do some growing up while you’re at it.

T1Dmama · 13/12/2023 22:52

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 14:05

this is not about remembering purely our anniversary.

They all remember eachothers and we are the newest married couple in the group. There are 10 of us in there - 6 of us being couples where wishes are ALWAYS exchanged. Whether its 2 years, 8, 10, 15 whatever.

I have always made an effort for every single one of them.

I have always made an effort for every single one of them..

well you have the option from now on to not bother. … I’d have posted at the end of the day a message saying it was our anniversary today! and not another word for a few days

Teenagehorrorbag · 13/12/2023 23:33

No-one does anniversaries except special ones - and maybe the first. (Except my granny who always sent to my parents and my Mum would say - oh look it's our anniversary.....)

Don't be weird and precious. If you hate them for valid reasons then you may decide to distance things, but this is not a decent reason.

Boopnose · 13/12/2023 23:37

Sounds like you’ve been looking for an excuse to be mad with them.
Is it usual for family to celebrate your wedding anniversary? Mine and DHS don’t. I’ve not heard of this before unless it’s a silver etc.

Julimia · 13/12/2023 23:58

Oh dear get a grip and get over it. This is not a reason to create s conflicting situation. As long as hubby remebered whst else matters?

jasminocereusbritannicus · 14/12/2023 07:03

I don’t think you should expect family to send cards, or remember, though it’s nice if they do!
I always remember to send a card to my Dad and stepmum, but that’s because I don’t see them much and it’s a way of keeping in touch.( my Dad is in his 80s, now! Remarried 1989) He always remembers mine… and, I have an easily remembered date now as I remarried last year.

I really think you’re just looking for an excuse to go no contact with your DH’s family…

Inbetweenie993 · 14/12/2023 07:22

It's YOUR anniversary. Not for everyone to celebrate! Get to Silver or Golden, then others might be interested. Frankly not looking good 😕

Lavenderblue11 · 14/12/2023 07:57

It sounds like you're looking for any excuse to fall out with them. That's awful.

usernamealreadytaken · 14/12/2023 08:48

"I never liked them from the beginning."

Do you think they might have picked up on that? I tend not to send cards or good wishes to those who don't like me, it feels false.

FlipFlop1987 · 14/12/2023 09:35

I started a thread on this in the Summer as I didn’t know if there was a standard for family to acknowledge wedding anniversaries and send cards. On my side of the family we send cards every year, on DH’s side they don’t even message.
Personally I find it strange some people don’t even know the date their family members married but then again PIL forgot what year they got married and started planning a 50th party for themselves then realised it was their 49th. Families are just different.

Frasers · 14/12/2023 09:43

FlipFlop1987 · 14/12/2023 09:35

I started a thread on this in the Summer as I didn’t know if there was a standard for family to acknowledge wedding anniversaries and send cards. On my side of the family we send cards every year, on DH’s side they don’t even message.
Personally I find it strange some people don’t even know the date their family members married but then again PIL forgot what year they got married and started planning a 50th party for themselves then realised it was their 49th. Families are just different.

See I find it strange you’d remember the date folks got married. I remember one family member. As they married the week before us and have a big party every single year. I couldn’t tell you any one else’s.

anniversaries are generally seen as between the couple to celebrate unless it’s a big one. If anyone else was getting involved in mine I’d think they were way over invested.

brunettemic · 14/12/2023 09:47

Stop acting like a child.

ymemanresu · 14/12/2023 11:49

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 14:05

this is not about remembering purely our anniversary.

They all remember eachothers and we are the newest married couple in the group. There are 10 of us in there - 6 of us being couples where wishes are ALWAYS exchanged. Whether its 2 years, 8, 10, 15 whatever.

I have always made an effort for every single one of them.

I get you. No one is listening even though you've repeated yourself several times. it sounds like they're not keen on you but you don't like them so why do you care? Only mention it to husband if you want a row 🤷‍♀️ Why don't you like them?

Geranium1984 · 14/12/2023 12:10

I've never had anyone acknowledge our wedding anniversary

tuvamoodyson · 14/12/2023 12:10

Definitely distance yourself from them. I can only but imagine their relief!

AllstarFacilier · 14/12/2023 13:41

I don’t acknowledge other people’s anniversaries, it’s not a done thing usually.

hydriotaphia · 14/12/2023 13:43

yabu!

SnozPoz · 14/12/2023 13:45

The only person who needs to remember your anniversary is your husband

YeahIsaidit · 14/12/2023 13:52

Why should anyone but you and your husband care that it's your anniversary or even acknowledge it?

Screwyouloopylou · 14/12/2023 17:41

Jigglypufff · 12/12/2023 13:51

Pack it in man! I barely remember my own anniversary, let alone other peoples. 🤣

Same 😂😂

CameltoeParkerBowles · 14/12/2023 19:44

Why would they be concerned with YOUR anniversary? Are you always so self-absorbed?

Madwife3006 · 14/12/2023 19:57

Nice attitude.
I wonder why they didn’t wish you Happy Anniversary 🤔🤷‍♀️
You reap what you sow!

cosmicfig · 14/12/2023 21:05

Sorry but I don’t think anyone cares about other peoples wedding anniversary’s really.