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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Married 2 years. DHs family forgot our anniversary. Mine remembered.

564 replies

crossroads1 · 12/12/2023 13:45

DH's family forgot our anniversary, only been married 2 years. They remember all other important dates. But no effort for us. My family all remembered first thing in the morning and sent us both messages.

Should i bring this up to DH? I just want to tell my in laws where to stick it!!

Could this be my chance to distance myself from them? My get out of jail free card? I never liked them from the beginning.

OP posts:
GuitarGeorgina · 13/12/2023 18:14

Why on earth would anyone remember it, unless it was on a usual date (Boxing Day, for example). I can’t remember when my own is, and certainly nobody else would have a clue.

Zonder · 13/12/2023 18:24

I would get DH to post saying
Hey, it was our anniversary yesterday! Happy anniversary to us!

JoBrandsCleaner · 13/12/2023 18:35

Oh dear

GodDammitCecil · 13/12/2023 18:36

Chickenkeev · 13/12/2023 18:00

I wonder tbh, what is expected of these poor sods on the anniversary? Are they required to sit and moon at their wives for the day?

Show quote history

You think that’s what people who mark their anniversary, and who like each other, do….? Grin

Chickenkeev · 13/12/2023 18:39

GodDammitCecil · 13/12/2023 18:36

You think that’s what people who mark their anniversary, and who like each other, do….? Grin

Show quote history

But of course! (Moon in the gaze lovingly sense, rather than arse flashing of course)

bananamangoes · 13/12/2023 18:39

They missed your 2 year anniversary?

the swines! 🤣

SaponificationQueen · 13/12/2023 18:44

Maybe at the end of the day you should post “Happy 2nd Anniversary to my wonderful husband.” That may let them all know that they blew it. :-)

neighboursmustliveon · 13/12/2023 18:56

An anniversary should be celebrated by the couple only. My mother in law always sends us a card but she is the only one (except this year which was a milestone one). I would never expect anyone else to remember and think of us. I certainly wouldn’t use it as an excuse to cut them out of my life! That is incredibly petty.

Differentstarts · 13/12/2023 18:58

tescocreditcard · 12/12/2023 13:52

Go round their house and beat the crap out of them

🤣🤣🤣

Differentstarts · 13/12/2023 18:59

I have no clue when anyone's wedding anniversary is I barely remember birthdays

Rubes24 · 13/12/2023 19:04

No, not an excuse to distance yourself. I would never expect anyone to remember mine except my husband...and even then I'm not overly bothered.

Ilovecleaning · 13/12/2023 19:07

Sounds a bit daft to me. I never expect anyone to remember wedding anniversaries. When my stepson and wife had their first wedding anniversary we sent them a card but I did “That’s it until your 10th 😊”. No one cared. I don’t care about our own wedding anniversary..
Maybe you hate your PIL so much that it’s a good excuse to reduce contact.

mamaandbabas · 13/12/2023 19:12

Why would they bother about your Anniversary?. This should be about you and your partner to celebrate. You are totally over reacting.

YDBear · 13/12/2023 19:26

Flabbergasted the OP would expect anyone to remember an anniversary except her spouse.

celticprincess · 13/12/2023 19:34

As others have said it’s not a hill to die on.

My in-laws always sent us a card strangely (up until we separated and later divorced). My parents never bothered. We weren’t bothered either way about other people acknowledging our anniversary.

Jem57 · 13/12/2023 19:34

I’ve been married 46 years on Sunday,have never had an anniversary card from either of my sons,don’t worry about it.

tachycardigan · 13/12/2023 19:37

I think OP got the message after 500 posts.

@crossroads1 I suggest you email MNHQ and tell them the thread is identifying and get it deleted, people adding their tuppence a day late is dull.

Pepsi2001 · 13/12/2023 19:44

How childish! Nobody needs to remember except you and your husband
You looking for an excuse??

DemBonesDemBones · 13/12/2023 19:59

You've got to be kidding...right?! 😆

payens · 13/12/2023 19:59

Oh dear, another feeble excuse to bash the in laws. Grow up.

amccabe15 · 13/12/2023 20:27

Same as others, it’s a personal thing. Of course, if you ‘never liked them’ they may have picked up that vibe. Just saying’. 🤷‍♀️

Blogswife · 13/12/2023 20:27

Omg, I couldn’t tell you the dates of any family member’s anniversaries and no one remembers mine . It really doesn’t mean anything to anyone other than the people involved.

Lifelessordinary1 · 13/12/2023 20:41

My daughter got married earlier this year - I've already forgotten the exact date.

UsingChangeofName · 13/12/2023 20:59

After the first couple of pages, I was thinking that maybe it was a reflection that they felt there was nothing to celebrate about you still being together.

The next 19 pages seems to have confirmed that instinct. Even more so now previous threads have been referenced.
As a pp said, my leaning is towards seeing if the rest of the family need support.

OP, surely you can see this is nothing to do with an anniversary card, and that you are not in a healthy happy relationship here ?

JulieJones1958 · 13/12/2023 21:04

So you never liked them and this could be your get out of jail card???
Think of the bigger picture....you manage this now and you,d probably stop them seeing your future children as well???
Make a bloody effort to like her for Christ's sake 😡😡

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