To expect after school club to provide a proper tea?

[Fummymummy]

Genuinely don't know what the norm is here so looking for perspective.

Dd is in reception and goes to wrap around after school.
After she'd come home starving several times, I asked the staff for more info about the tea set up.
They serve tea at 3.30pm, DD says she isn't hungry then so doesn't eat. Fair enough.The food is then taken away and they can have a cracker or a biscuit as snacks later on.
Every single day last week she has had crackers for tea, and today she's had 1 biscuit!
I get that she's offered tea but if she isn't hungry they can't force her to eat, and they have to have a cut off - that's fine, so I asked if they would at least save her plate for later so she at least gets her tea even if it's cold.
She came home yet again today absolutely starving. Doesn't seem like they're keeping her plate back.

We don't get home until about 6pm so she's going from 11.40 (when reception eat) til then.

AIBU to be pissed off that she's living off crackers and biscuits when she's meant to have tea there?
I don't get why it's so early, or why they need to take plates away if some clearly haven't eaten.
Is this normal? Do most kids have to have a second tea at home later? (We usually have bedtime snacks, not a full meal). I know it's not like a nursery where the ratio is lower, but it feels poor that they're letting her go without (bar the crackers).

She's in bed for 7pm so it's a struggle when I'm having to rustle something proper up between getting home, doing her reading and bath/ bedtime.

Am I expecting too much?

Ours serves juice and biscuits at 3:30pm, then a full dinner at 4:45pm (it goes on until 6pm).

3:30pm is stupidly early - of course she's not hungry for a whole meal at that point!

We pay £6.20ph for AS and don’t even get a snack, never mind a meal!

It’s a swizz but it’s our only option.

Also, I’d say, if your child is hungry it is your responsibility to feed it.

Your after school club serve hot food? I'm surprised they are allowed to use the school kitchen, and have the staff for that. Ours just does crackers/ham/cheese/wraps/fruit type stuff so of course they have dinner at home. But then most primary school kids don't go to bed at 7pm, it'll only be the very young years that do that, so the after school clubs aren't necessary very well set up for them. Maybe consider a childminder until they're a bit older? They'd most likely feed a proper meal, and it would be less manic, if they're tired at the end of a school day.

YABU

3-30 tea time is normal in most nurseries. She should eat when food is provided or go hungry till you get home

For £11 per hour, I would expext something decent

Or is it £11 for 3:15pm - 5:30pm? In which case; no way! A roll or wrap is all i would hope for

Our school provided a range of different sandwiches, fruit, and squash, so kids could eat as much or as little as they wanted. Seemed to work.

I'd say 3.30pm for snack
5pm for hot meal if that's the set up
Can you provide a snack bag he/she is allowed to sit somewhere and access anytime.

I work in a breakfast and afterschool club and snack is something like a sausage roll, yoghurt, fruit or cake option. Children are all entitled to the snack and there is normally some left over for the children to eat. Fruit is always available, it is served about 3.30/3.40, tea should be given at home even if a piece of toast as its only a snack.

I don’t know why some people on this post are suggesting bed times should be later. My children all under eight years old go to bed at the latest 7pm. Different families do things differently. My eldest has to be up at 6.30 to get ready before her taxi to school.

Pleeeease raise my child for me.
I'm prepared to pay an extra 2p a term if you do, and I'll send in
our preferred menu.

I've used two after school clubs. Neither would offer dinner. It is tricky when they are small and exhausted at pick up. Good to have a range of quick dinners (or cooked ahead) that can be ready 10 mins after they get home.

You said you send her there so she has tea. I’d suggest either not sending her there or finding somewhere else

surelt if they’re not giving her whatever the exact thing is you’re sending AND paying for. Then I’d stop sending her b

We offer ASC at our nursery. They eat at 4.30. The nursery children get a fresh cooked hot meal at 12. Our tea is hot but more of a snack meal. We do pizza, soup, rice, sausage.rolls etc. Not what I'd.consider a main meal for school age children but is enough over a day for our young ones with us all day.

We make all our children sit down at the same time. If they don't eat then there is no alternative as things need to be tidied and cleaned by closing. If a child chooses not to eat we can't force them but neither is food saved.

YABU to expect a 'meal' - they'll have children leaving at different times and usually food prep areas in schools are closely guarded by the catering companies, who don't usually stay for after school clubs.

However, YANBU to expect a decent 'snack' be held for your DD until such time as she's ready to eat it, or until she leaves. My DD's old club gave out crisps, fruit and a few other bits on a plate, for each child. My current school has fruit and biscuits; today I noticed them serving sausage rolls, but it might have been a party or something.

My DDs ASC club provides a full hot meal at 4.30pm plus fruit and crackers for snacks at any time if they are hungry.

YABVU when our children went to ‘afters’ it was very cheap after school supervision. They would only ever get a very light snack i.e. a plain biscuit and some squash or fruit or toast but nothing more. If they don’t like it or don’t want it for whatever reason it’s basically tough. No way could the offerings they served if I ever picked up early be classed as a meal much more definitely a very light snack.

What a nasty post.

Did that make you feel good in some way ?

Well said @OlympicProcrastinator . Great posts (on P10)

It can vary but the school should be open with what they provide. 3.30pm is a strange time for a full tea for primary aged children.

My son's ASC provides a "hot snack" which is normally some sort of toast/crumpet/sandwich/crackers with a variety of fillings, and he will eat a full dinner when we get home. The ASC at my school provides a "light tea" which is normally a pasta bake type meal made by the lunch time staff for the ASC staff to heat up and serve at 5pm. From what I understand this is unusual.

I would offer some feedback. They might be some practical reasons why it is early, like the kitchen staff go home at 4?

Thank you for this wonderful post! Where are all the normal people like you?
Can't believe someone asked me why I had a child 😂😂😂 honestly!
Yes, it's very sad as another poster says, she's at school for 11 hours. (Well, usually about 10). Well, what else should I do with them while I'm at work?
DH works away for weeks at a time - but of course that's no issue, he's fine to have kids and never see them. (Btw DH is brilliant, pulls his weight at home when he's back too).

May as well update everyone while I'm here, DD had crackers at ASC tonight, apparently she didn't want to eat with everyone else like I asked because tea was hot dogs, and she doesn't like them. So I made her fish fingers, smiley faces and beans for tea when we got home.

Oh and since she had a slightly later bedtime last night due to me taking a while to rustle up food before bed, she was AWFUL this evening. But yes, I should definitely push her bedtime later because it's not already hard enough for her to cope with the super long days, that I never ever feel sad or guilty about because obviously I should never have had children 😅

OP -my DC goes to a childminder instead of ASC and one of the deciding factors was that she got a proper tea at the childminder. I commute and am rarely home before 7 so there's no chance of us having cosy weekday family dinner times... this is something we only get to enjoy at the weekend. So knowing that she's had a decent nutritious tea is a relief and means that DH can pick up her and get cracking on reading homework and bedtime routine (and yes we are in Yr1 and still do a 7pm bedtime - I didn't think this was weird before this thread!). I do fully appreciate that good Childminders are like gold dust and not all schools have them but if you can find one I would strongly recommend it.

Batch cooking and freezing portions is the way forward. After a few weeks it is second nature and so easy to get a healthy meal on the table quickly.

You need to cook your kid a dinner.

It’s an after school club not a room service when your child feels like eating unfortunately. She’s being offered food and not wanting it not a lot they can do really. Imagine if every child wanted tea at a different time? How would that even work. It’s like lunch times at school they are set times. Yeah you’re paying but not enough to dictate that they are at your child’s beck and call.

Why would you rather your child ate cold food than make her proper tea when she gets home?