To ask if you have sex on your period

[Toothurtyoclock]

Regular user but name changed for this.

I had a day out with a friend yesterday and we had a lot of girl chat. Somehow or another I said something along the lines of 'but I was on my period, so obviously we didn't have sex'. My friend was genuinely surprised by this and that I've never had sex on my period, ever. Not with DH, nor anyone prior. Honestly, it's not something I've even considered doing, kind of like one of the rules of life, death, taxes and can't have sex on your period. My friend says this is not her experience at all and says bar maybe the first few days when it's at it's heaviest and she feels the most uncomfortable, she and her DH have sex as much as they otherwise would.
I spoke about it with DH to ask his thoughts and he's in the same boat as me, says he's just always assumed you don't do that and the few guy friends he has that he does talk about sex with, they don't have sex with their wives or girlfriends on their period either.
I don't actually have many friends that I speak this openly about sex to so was just wondering what the wise women of Mumsnet think.

Honestly, I feel like crap the first few days of my period but after that, I feel my normal self and it annoys me that I 'can't' have sex for the next 4 or 5 days so maybe this is something I need to reconsider but it's something I've not even considered before, I just always assumed it not done and never challenged it. Now I feel a bit foolish as I can't now work out how I really feel about it. DH says he's up for giving it a go if I'm comfortable with it but I don't know if I am yet.

Not until meeting my husband and it felt liberating that he completely accepted that part of me, after I was raised to think periods were disgusting and shameful. And if you use tampons then oral is the same as any other time of the month

It’s not false at all. Someone on this thread literally said all of the above 🥴🤡

This is interesting. DH and I often had sex during my periods. On heavy days I'd pop my diaphragm in, which held back the flow fine. We never realised not doing so was a thing until I was into my 40s and it came up in conversation with my father (a gynaecologist). I was asking if there was any increased risk of disease transmission eg hiv during your period. He didn't know but said "it's very rare anyway". No-one told me! Btw does anyone know?

scrolling False. I said 'internalised misogyny' about bodily functions. Not the other stuff...I'd recommend washing vulva (why do you say vagina if you mean vulva?) with water only, and if there's a smell, you need checked for bacterial vaginosis, stop doucheing, no more fancy soap...restore your pH with some bio yogurt!

And now I'm on the rag, I have the curse, the redcoats have landed, Auntie Flo has come to visit, I have my flowers, I'm leaving this thread and going to PAINT MY CLOWNFACE with MY OWN BLOOD @Keilagh

er....no you shouldnt really smell unless you havent washed. Unless the blood is stale it wouldnt smell bad

It's as if people have different experiences. Do you normally struggle to understand things that aren't your direct experience? You haven't found it messy so no one does...

I'm picking at this as an example so don't really mean this at you in particular. But like I said in my pp there's definitely a level of shaming going on for those of us who don't do this as prudes.

When as I perviously said there's loads of reasons (for me it's clots, very heavy flow and extreme pain) I'm really not sure why people are struggling to understand. But it is feeling like a one up manship of cool girl I'm so sex positive so the rest of you are uptight bitches.

I'm sure, as is true with all inference when people can't say what they really mean this will be denied! 😂

Perhaps read some of the replies then. You'll learn something about why.

Surely if you don't want to, don't do it. I never have, and DH said he can't think of anything less sexy. It's only a few days

Me and DP have been together since we were 17 and in the early days when you are all over each other, we did do a couple of times - we went to different unis and only saw each other once or twice a month so we just got on with it!

Nowadays 15 years later absolutely not, not on my Egyptian cotton sheets!

Omg I wasn’t talking about you. Why don’t you try seeing past your own nose? I already said I was talking about someone else. Again, 🤡

This would really turn me off my husband. I dont have period sex because I just dont feel like it usually- my mood is low. but husband is still very much up for it and something natural from his wifes body shouldnt really make her unsexy.

i use a flat menstrual cup (the intimina ziggy cup) and you can have sex with it in. Avoids mess

@Keilagh yesss I Paint the Face in Unclean Blood 💃❣👠👠💄👄💋👹

I was dumped once by a man I was seeing because I got my period while we were having sex. He thought it was "disgusting" and said he couldn't "look at me the same way".

I thought he was an incredibly immature man baby (he was 29) and thanked my lucky stars that I escaped, but I can see from some of the comments here some people ended up marrying their man babies.

Nobody should have sex when they don't want to, regardless of reason, but if someone I was sleeping with described me as gross for having a period I'd stop sleeping with them full stop.

Nope. Without oral it's not worth doing imo.

Yeah definitely, but I mean like what if you have a very heavy flow & leak a lot of blood while DTD? I wouldn’t want to have sex with a whiff of period blood in the air 👀

To each their own. If you want to (and partner is happy) great. If not, no problem. Just like sex in general really.
Personally day 3 leaves me gagging for it! Must be a hormone rush or something. DH happy to oblige, just disappointed it really doesn’t last very long. I was the same while pregnant!

Yes I do and have with all my partners- I’m a lesbian though so with two women having periods at different times we could easily end up with 2 weeks or more were we ‘couldn’t’ every month, and that would be a bit shit.

Oral sex during periods has always been normal too.

Going by my gay friends this is normal, but my best friend is straight and she wouldn’t ever, and says her bloke would refuse.

Don’t even bother with a towel here… probably are a bit more mindful of positions.

Yes. There’s no way I’m denying myself pleasure just because I have my period. Never come across a guy who gives a crap either.

Plus it’s good for cramps.

We would do...

How heavy your periods are may influence peoples choices.

mine are very light and so it has never been an issue and never caused a mess. If you have very heavy periods or clotting then people may feel differently. Each to their own!

It’s really your choice but we do, and I have never been with a woman who hasn’t. Gay women aren’t bothered by that kind of thing in my experience…

‘Oral sex during periods has always been normal too.

Going by my gay friends this is normal, but my best friend is straight and she wouldn’t ever, and says her bloke would refuse.’

yup! Same idea, with women it could mean going 2 weeks without sex, and who wants that!