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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS stay off school on his birthday?

194 replies

Niffler29 · 10/12/2023 18:53

DS has asked if he can have the day off school on his birthday. He’s 12 and in his first year of high school so no exams coming up or anything. No issues at school/life in general, he’s a good kid. My initial response is no but if I’m being honest, I’ve never worked on my birthday in my life and the company I work for these days gives a an automatic holiday on your birthday so I can kind of see his point.

AIBU to consider it? I think I am but would like other people to confirm so I feel less bad🤣.

OP posts:
BumpyaDaisyevna · 11/12/2023 12:57

What reason would you give for his absence?

TheBraves · 11/12/2023 13:06

What reason would you give for his absence?

Illness? When we did it I just said they’re not feeling well. That was it. No one cares. They could have been ill for all the school know.

TheBraves · 11/12/2023 13:08

No I don't do this and I have nothing against spontaneous days off every now and then. I just don't want my children growing up to think the world should stop because it's their birthday, they'll end up disappointed later in life when they have to come to accept that it's just a normal day for everyone except for them.

They don’t think the world stops. They just have a day off knowing the world carries on. People are so dramatic. 🤣🤣🤣

smooshraspberry · 11/12/2023 13:21

MeinKraft · 11/12/2023 11:26

No I don't do this and I have nothing against spontaneous days off every now and then. I just don't want my children growing up to think the world should stop because it's their birthday, they'll end up disappointed later in life when they have to come to accept that it's just a normal day for everyone except for them.

🤣😂

Or perhaps the OP just wants to make her children's birthdays feel special whilst they're young.

CurlewKate · 11/12/2023 14:09

@MeinKraft " I just don't want my children growing up to think the world should stop because it's their birthday, "

Such a weird take. Of course they won't-they're not daft!

Hbh17 · 11/12/2023 14:19

Children should be in school - it's not optional, FFS. It's more important than any birthday. I sat an A level on my birthday - imagine what a shock it would have been if my parents had mollycoddled me by giving me the day off in previous years? I really don't understand the thought processes of some people.

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 11/12/2023 14:27

@Hbh17 surely by the time you’ve reached a-level age you’re capable of understanding fairly simple distinctions like you can your birthday day off but not when it’s an exam day? 😆🤷🏻‍♀️

EsmeSusanOgg · 11/12/2023 17:26

MarmitePizza · 11/12/2023 09:00

Really? “On a whim?”

One thing I hate about going to the beach is getting all the stuff ready - costumes, towels, shoes, picnic etc.

But you were able to set out as if you were going to school for the day and just drive straight past and go to the beach instead?

Show quote history

Not the person you are replying to - but yeah my dad did this sometimes. A magical mystery tour is what it was called or 'going the pretty route' he worked most weekends with Tues and Weds in the week off.

We went to beaches, castles etc. you don't need to take too much with you - and there were always random extra socks/ jumpers/ towel on the boot anyway.

They were some of the best days of my early childhood.

Bluevelvetsofa · 12/12/2023 11:29

I don’t understand why working on my birthday has led anyone to believe I’ve had a miserable life . Thats rather a stretch, surely.

I know someone who has a birthday at the beginning of September and her birthday fell on the first day of term. She wanted to take the day off, but her mother pointed out that all her friends would be at school and there would be no one to hang out with.

The point is that you can book a day off for your birthday in some jobs, but you can’t do that at school. Sometimes you have to accept that you can’t do what you want, when you want.

Most of my school birthdays were spent taking exams. I’d rather not have done that either, but the exams were not planned for me.

NewShoes · 12/12/2023 11:37

Sure! I’m a teacher, I’d also love to take my birthday off. I’ll assume that’s also fine and hope the children all enjoy their cover lessons for the day!

Original poster
Niffler29 · 12/12/2023 19:38

God I didn’t expect this thread to get the response it did 🤣!

Anyway, I decided to let DS have the day off and we had a lovely day together. He’s a great kid with good attendance and no issues and after him celebrating his birthday with his friends all weekend, it was great to have some one to one time together especially with those days being numbered as he gets older. We wouldn’t have managed otherwise due to sports most evenings/weekends and him spending alternate weekends with his dad. He was under the impression that he was off to school until the morning so it was a surprise!

If I’m being honest, I was actually swaying towards just sending him until I read all these responses - some of the folk on here really need to unclench! One day off and he’ll become a terrorist or a criminal 🤣! I’ll be sure to pop back in 5 years time and let you all know if he’s in jail.

Ps. For the few teachers who asked, I wouldn’t have any issue with you taking your birthday off, shame it’s not automatic for anyone who wants it!

OP posts:
Pebbles16 · 12/12/2023 19:46

laclochette · 10/12/2023 20:18

It's not ok - it sets a poor precedent (lots of jobs won't give you your birthday off!), undermines the concept of school as something compulsory that you should only miss for bad and sad things like illness or a death in the family - which can be a slippery slope, affects learning, and also, school birthdays can be fun! A birthday is not a public holiday 🤣🤣🤣

Edited

But as an adult you can book leave if you want.
Your birthday should be celebrated as your own personal event, which includes a holiday if you want one!

Paddleboarder · 12/12/2023 19:48

I don't do this. I have one child with a birthday that's always in the holidays and I never let his sibling have the day off. We do something in the evening for his birthday and then something with friends at the weekend. What would he even do? Would you be having the day off as well?

Pebbles16 · 12/12/2023 19:50

EsmeSusanOgg · 11/12/2023 17:26

Not the person you are replying to - but yeah my dad did this sometimes. A magical mystery tour is what it was called or 'going the pretty route' he worked most weekends with Tues and Weds in the week off.

We went to beaches, castles etc. you don't need to take too much with you - and there were always random extra socks/ jumpers/ towel on the boot anyway.

They were some of the best days of my early childhood.

Show quote history

Crikey @MarmitePizza I am a planner, but there is room for a little spontaneity in life (although probably parents had planned it well to APPEAR spontaneous, because that's the joy of surprising loved ones)

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/12/2023 19:52

My initial response is no but if I’m being honest, I’ve never worked on my birthday in my life and the company I work for these days gives a an automatic holiday on your birthday so I can kind of see his point.

What point? Presumably he goes to a school full of kids who go to school on their birthdays? It's perfectly normal to be in school on your birthday (unless it falls in the holidays). I've never heard of jobs where they give you an automatic day off on your birthday either!

Crumblecakes · 12/12/2023 20:28

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/12/2023 19:52

My initial response is no but if I’m being honest, I’ve never worked on my birthday in my life and the company I work for these days gives a an automatic holiday on your birthday so I can kind of see his point.

What point? Presumably he goes to a school full of kids who go to school on their birthdays? It's perfectly normal to be in school on your birthday (unless it falls in the holidays). I've never heard of jobs where they give you an automatic day off on your birthday either!

Lots of companies give birthdays off as a benefit , my mum gets her bday off and 2 of my friends at their companies , I’ve seen it advertised on job ads loads also. Its deffo a thing

TrixieFatell · 12/12/2023 20:42

I give my children the choice. One had a birthday in the holidays so I think it's fair that the other have the choice. Sometimes they have the day off, sometimes they want to go to school to see their friends. It's their day.

I always book my birthday off and usually book off my husbands, and the kids birthdays too. Even if husband is working I have his birthday off (only because our birthdays are very close together and I usually book the week off anyway).

Panda89 · 12/12/2023 21:18

I wouldn’t do this for my daughter no, I also wouldn’t book my own birthday off, especially if it’s a random day in the middle of the week. What would I do, sit around and be bored by daytime tv? Same for DD, what would she do with the day off, play on her iPad whilst I work? I’d rather have a proper celebration at the weekend.

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 12/12/2023 22:43

Wow you really have no imagination - a day off means sitting around doing nothing?? You need to get out more….

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