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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS stay off school on his birthday?

194 replies

Niffler29 · 10/12/2023 18:53

DS has asked if he can have the day off school on his birthday. He’s 12 and in his first year of high school so no exams coming up or anything. No issues at school/life in general, he’s a good kid. My initial response is no but if I’m being honest, I’ve never worked on my birthday in my life and the company I work for these days gives a an automatic holiday on your birthday so I can kind of see his point.

AIBU to consider it? I think I am but would like other people to confirm so I feel less bad🤣.

OP posts:
Yesididntdothat · 10/12/2023 22:24

I never have before, but this year ds (still at primary) asked me and as it fell on a day I was at home and seemed an easy win in terms of doing something nice with him, I said yes. In our family myself, dh and our other child all happen to have birthdays on days we will never be in school/work (teachers/holidays). So I could see how ds could be a little miffed that he never got the same!

KillerTomato7 · 11/12/2023 00:45

If you want to set your son on the path to criminality, you go right ahead and let him stay home tomorrow.

Just don’t complain to us five years from now when he becomes a terrorist.

BashfulClam · 11/12/2023 00:48

Nope, I had to sit exams on my birthday 3 years in a row. Sometimes it falls on a bank holiday but if not I was at school.

Wisdomisnotwise · 11/12/2023 04:11

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 10/12/2023 19:02

He’s just a kid give him a day off and a fab birthday - adults could book a days holiday if they want why are kids not allowed the same rights.

This feeds the narrative that school is work which it isn't! Yes they have to go and yes it is hard work but it is an immense privilege for children to receive an education. If he was being sent down the mines then absolutely, let him have a day off for his birthday.

letstrythatagain · 11/12/2023 05:33

KillerTomato7 · 11/12/2023 00:45

If you want to set your son on the path to criminality, you go right ahead and let him stay home tomorrow.

Just don’t complain to us five years from now when he becomes a terrorist.

🤣🤣🤣 best response yet!

EsmeSusanOgg · 11/12/2023 05:36

YANBU. He is 12. It is one day.

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 11/12/2023 05:41

My mum always let us have the day off for our birthdays. They were lovely days.

I’ve taken annual leave for my birthday most years of my adult life.

If he has good attendance otherwise this really isn’t a big deal.

AlwaysGinPlease · 11/12/2023 05:51

Do it! It's not done my DC any harm! All have got great jobs and their own property. It's one day. He'll love it!

aramox1 · 11/12/2023 05:56

No! What would you say to school? Give him extra treat money and a cake when he gets home. I've never heard of people taking day off work either.

GandalfTheWhite · 11/12/2023 06:01

*If you want to set your son on the path to criminality, you go right ahead and let him stay home tomorrow.

Just don’t complain to us five years from now when he becomes a terrorist.*

Crying 🤣🤣

blackfluffycat · 11/12/2023 06:12

I'm curious. What do you tell the school?

Both my dds birthdays are during the school holidays. Just luck it fell that way but grateful.

Homesweethome23 · 11/12/2023 06:18

I never went to school on my birthday and neither did my sibling. Mine has also never been to school on their birthday either.
I have also never worked on my birthday.

fuckssaaaaake · 11/12/2023 07:38

@thesurreymum and yet you seem to be fine? It's almost like it's not connected

EasternStandard · 11/12/2023 07:41

Thelondonone · 10/12/2023 21:01

Surely he wants to see his mates on his birthday? Ridiculous.

This

Nacknick · 11/12/2023 07:44

Don’t be daft. Of course he can’t take the day off. What reason would you give anyway and why has this only just come up now, why not in all his preceding years of school?

writingwriting · 11/12/2023 07:46

Bluevelvetsofa · 10/12/2023 18:55

I never had my birthday off until I retired. It’s a bad precedent to set.

So because you didn't enjoy your life no one else should?

I never went school on my birthday and have always booked the day off work.

I worked last year for the first time because I needed the cash and I won't do that again.

FairisleFairy · 11/12/2023 07:47

@Sodie @smooshraspberry @Skyisbluegrassisgreen @Pianodiano

what do you tell the school?

FedUpMumof10YO · 11/12/2023 07:52

Nope. He should be in school.

duvetdayy · 11/12/2023 07:55

I’m a teacher. It is just absolutely not that deep. I would keep him off and say it’s a one time thing because it’s his last year before being a teenager or something 😂 As long as his attendance is good usually and he’s not off for every little thing then literally what is the harm?! Plus the kids in school aren’t exactly doing much crucial new learning this week, let’s put it that way.

ace249 · 11/12/2023 07:58

I let my youngest take the day off for her birthday. She has perfect attendance otherwise. I also take the day off for my birthday.
We've not turned out to be criminals or terrorists either. Yet.
(assuming that comment was tongue in cheek, but you never can tell these days)

wherethewildtbingsgo · 11/12/2023 08:10

ace249 · 11/12/2023 07:58

I let my youngest take the day off for her birthday. She has perfect attendance otherwise. I also take the day off for my birthday.
We've not turned out to be criminals or terrorists either. Yet.
(assuming that comment was tongue in cheek, but you never can tell these days)

The difference between you taking a day off and your daughter taking a day off is that you have a legal right to take time off and you do so in line with your employer's annual leave policy. You also presumably aren't taught the same thing on the same day as your colleagues and aren't setting a poor precedent for other colleagues.

I'm genuinely amazed that people can't see the difference between a child "taking a day off" ie skiving and an adult booking a day of annual leave which they are entitled to and paid for. Unless of course you're saying you never book the day off but simply don't turn up leaving your colleagues to cope because "it's my buuurrffffdayyy so I'm special"

CagneyAndLazy · 11/12/2023 08:14

blackfluffycat · 11/12/2023 06:12

I'm curious. What do you tell the school?

Both my dds birthdays are during the school holidays. Just luck it fell that way but grateful.

I imagine they just lie about why the child was off - entitlement, you see...

I mean, who cares about school, teachers annd education anyway?

Clearly not many on MN...

BillionaireTea · 11/12/2023 08:14

Actually high achieving people often don't use their annual leave - which is sometimes stupid and workaholic, and sometimes reflects a desire to sacrifice comfort now to achieve more later.

BillionaireTea · 11/12/2023 08:16

It's also really nice to be in school on your birthday- the day feels special and people sing to you etc . when I was 12 my friends would have done something like a little cake.

BillionaireTea · 11/12/2023 08:17

I never went school on my birthday and have always booked the day off work

I never went TO school

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