Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS stay off school on his birthday?

194 replies

Niffler29 · 10/12/2023 18:53

DS has asked if he can have the day off school on his birthday. He’s 12 and in his first year of high school so no exams coming up or anything. No issues at school/life in general, he’s a good kid. My initial response is no but if I’m being honest, I’ve never worked on my birthday in my life and the company I work for these days gives a an automatic holiday on your birthday so I can kind of see his point.

AIBU to consider it? I think I am but would like other people to confirm so I feel less bad🤣.

OP posts:
Remaker · 10/12/2023 20:12

I have never had to make this decision as both my kids have their birthdays in the holidays, as do I. I remember when I was young wishing mine was during the school term as I felt like it was forgotten by my friends and I never had the whole class sing happy birthday etc. Grass is always greener!

Ilovelurchers · 10/12/2023 20:13

underneaththeash · 10/12/2023 19:05

I don’t know anyone who does that.
we live in quite a wealthy, high achieving (through hard work) area. So maybe that’s the difference?

Show quote history

This is marvellous - I am fascinated to know more about this place.

What happens if people who inherited their wealth or won it on the lottery or married someone wealthy then divorced them, or just happened to have a talent that made them rich with little to no effort - what if one of them tried to buy a property in your area? Do all the "wealthy, high achieving (through hard work)" people burn it to the ground, as it is ruining the homogenous quality of the area?

Blankspace35 · 10/12/2023 20:14

I let my 12 year old have the day off school on their Birthday this year. Havent done it before and probably wont again but yep this year we did

Ilovelurchers · 10/12/2023 20:15

OP, I would let him have the day off if it doesn't cause you any childcare problems or anything like that. It's one day, it will make an absolutely negligible difference to his education if his attendance is otherwise good. Just stress to him it's a one off, and not to be asking again till next year.

(But I am hard working and poor, so what would I know?)

thatswhatshesaid36 · 10/12/2023 20:17

wherethewildtbingsgo · 10/12/2023 19:22

What on earth is joyless and uptight about saying a child should go to school during term time.

If every child took their birthday off it would make teaching classes and lessons incredibly difficult and patchy. If you're a teacher surely you can see this.

OP yes you're absolutely being unreasonable and irresponsible and teaching poor life skills if you allow a child to skive off school for their birthday.

Show quote history

Kids are in school, what, 200 days out of the year? Classes are 25-30 kids average? Just over 10%, not including the kids whose birthdays actually fall in the holidays. It’s not like it’s even a kid a week.

Life is short, I don’t work birthdays and no-one I know works birthdays! If DD wanted the day off school for her upcoming birthday, she would get it, she actually really enjoys going into school on her birthday though.

underneaththeash · 10/12/2023 20:17

Ilovelurchers · 10/12/2023 20:13

This is marvellous - I am fascinated to know more about this place.

What happens if people who inherited their wealth or won it on the lottery or married someone wealthy then divorced them, or just happened to have a talent that made them rich with little to no effort - what if one of them tried to buy a property in your area? Do all the "wealthy, high achieving (through hard work)" people burn it to the ground, as it is ruining the homogenous quality of the area?

Show quote history

It’s Beaconsfield. A nice town and I’m sure there are a few people who inherited wealth most haven’t. It’s culturally mixed. Please come visit.

Nosleepforthismum · 10/12/2023 20:18

My mum said it was illegal and kids who skived off school (even for birthdays) went straight to jail. Can’t quite believe I’ve never questioned the truth in this until this thread 🤦‍♀️

laclochette · 10/12/2023 20:18

It's not ok - it sets a poor precedent (lots of jobs won't give you your birthday off!), undermines the concept of school as something compulsory that you should only miss for bad and sad things like illness or a death in the family - which can be a slippery slope, affects learning, and also, school birthdays can be fun! A birthday is not a public holiday 🤣🤣🤣

Hiddenvoice · 10/12/2023 20:22

I think for me it depends, is his birthday close to Christmas so he might not miss much? Would you then need to take the day off too?

plumtreebroke · 10/12/2023 20:22

I would have, but my DDs friends would have known and so the teachers would have known and it would have become a thing. So no.

hermioneee · 10/12/2023 20:25

There's quite a few threads on here about the lack of respect children and parents have for teachers and schools. Everyone then says that of course this isn't them at all and it must be those OTHER parents.

Life is short as they say and yes you have days off work when you're an adult but I think this is one of those small things that just show children that school isn't that important. Celebrate their Birthday at the weekend!

BestMammyEver · 10/12/2023 20:33

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Abbimae · 10/12/2023 20:40

As a teacher would
you mind if I stayed off for my birthday? Really

KarmaisYOURboyfriend · 10/12/2023 20:40

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 10/12/2023 19:02

He’s just a kid give him a day off and a fab birthday - adults could book a days holiday if they want why are kids not allowed the same rights.

School kids don't have annual leave days to book.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 10/12/2023 20:42

I wouldn’t do this.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 10/12/2023 20:44

Pianodiano · 10/12/2023 19:03

Absolutely take it off. Most I know IRL would. But usually whatever the response is IRL for stuff like this mumsnet is the reverse opinion

Well I've never heard of it happening IRL, so you are wrong. I would have said it is a MN thing.

YeahIsaidit · 10/12/2023 20:44

Tinkerbyebye · 10/12/2023 19:00

That’s ridiculous. He has to learn in real life it won’t happen. I bet none of the other kids will have birthdays off either

he goes into school

In real life most adults working are able to book their birthday off with annual leave if they want to...

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 10/12/2023 20:46

laclochette · 10/12/2023 20:18

It's not ok - it sets a poor precedent (lots of jobs won't give you your birthday off!), undermines the concept of school as something compulsory that you should only miss for bad and sad things like illness or a death in the family - which can be a slippery slope, affects learning, and also, school birthdays can be fun! A birthday is not a public holiday 🤣🤣🤣

Edited

I agree, and would have thought a kid would want to go to school on their birthday!

I started having the day off work for my 21st, and there was a time when I couldn't have it off as it coincided with our busy time, so I just sucked it up and worked. We can't always have what we want in life.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 10/12/2023 20:48

YeahIsaidit · 10/12/2023 20:44

In real life most adults working are able to book their birthday off with annual leave if they want to...

Show quote history

That depends on the job surely. As I said in my last post, at one stage I couldn't take annual leave around the time of my birthday due to it being an all-hands-on-deck time of the month.

CaravaggiosCat · 10/12/2023 20:49

I don't know anyone who does this. Adults yes but children no. The school day is relatively short. Get up early and make him a nice breakfast (it was always pancakes in our house) then do something straight after school. Besides, won't it be obvious to new teachers and friends he's having his birthday off? Don't make him an overnight celebrity for the wrong reasons.

menopausalmare · 10/12/2023 20:49

No, he'll be bored, all his friends will be in school.

AllstarFacilier · 10/12/2023 20:50

I wouldn’t, it could set up the expectation that it’s a yearly thing and I wouldn’t be allowing it in secondary.

madaboutmad · 10/12/2023 20:51

CurlewKate · 10/12/2023 20:07

Well, I have high achieving adult children and one day when they were about 10 and 6 on a whim I drove straight past school and we went to the beach. They still remember it.

1 day, not once a year though

BananaPyjamaLlama · 10/12/2023 20:51

Of course he should go to school. Dont be ridiculous. Birthdays at school are often fun - if your friends make a fuss of you etc.
If you wanted your kid to have his birthday off you maybe should have planned for him to be born during the holidays!

Onabench · 10/12/2023 20:52

I would send him in. But it really doesn’t matter.