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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS stay off school on his birthday?

194 replies

Niffler29 · 10/12/2023 18:53

DS has asked if he can have the day off school on his birthday. He’s 12 and in his first year of high school so no exams coming up or anything. No issues at school/life in general, he’s a good kid. My initial response is no but if I’m being honest, I’ve never worked on my birthday in my life and the company I work for these days gives a an automatic holiday on your birthday so I can kind of see his point.

AIBU to consider it? I think I am but would like other people to confirm so I feel less bad🤣.

OP posts:
Icepop79 · 10/12/2023 20:52

It would never occur to me to let my child stay off school for their birthday. I’ve never come across anyone who has ever done this either.
This is mumsnet at its maddest!

3luckystars · 10/12/2023 20:52

Yeah I would.

H9b7b · 10/12/2023 20:52

I’d send him in, surely it will be more fun with his friends anyway than at home.

fuckssaaaaake · 10/12/2023 20:54

Lol didn't even think of this. A bit extra but fuck it

LetsPlayShadowlands · 10/12/2023 20:56

Lol at the responses on the first page (I got no further than this). Literally no one will look back at you at your funeral and say.. "well she always went to work on her burthday".

tillyandmilly · 10/12/2023 20:56

Yes I have never worked on my birthday ! my nephew has already broken up for Christmas! Go for it! You are only 12 once!

madaboutmad · 10/12/2023 20:57

A friend of mine started working in a school and when it rained, loads of kids would be off. Fuck it, why not, who wants to walk in the rain!

letstrythatagain · 10/12/2023 20:58

I usually let my daughter stay off. It was her 14th in June this year so we went shopping and lunch in the Ivy. It was a fantastic day 😁.

As a kid I was never allowed to do this as my mother was a teacher but I would have loved it.

Thelondonone · 10/12/2023 21:01

Surely he wants to see his mates on his birthday? Ridiculous.

thedementedelf · 10/12/2023 21:01

He's a kid, give him a day off.

cansu · 10/12/2023 21:01

This is why schools are being asked to pay such close attention to attendance. Utterly ridiculous.

HandyLittleGadget · 10/12/2023 21:05

You've never worked on your birthday, ever? Lucky you. No wonder your kid thinks he can have a day off

SmartiesAndFlakes · 10/12/2023 21:08

This is the first time I have heard of children taking days off school for their birthday. I never did, no one at my schools did, ditto my daughters and their friends. Ever. The children looked forward to school because they could bring cakes or similar in to share with their friends.

I didn’t know this happened, but it’s clearly very prevalent! Regional? But I lived up North and my DCs are down south. Odd!

Emeraldrings · 10/12/2023 21:15

Zwellers · 10/12/2023 19:45

Just don't come back in 5 or so years complaining your ds can't hold down a job as he only goes in when he feels like it and can't understand why he can't take a day off because its his birthday/too hot/he needs to some shopping etc etc

Yes because taking one day off is likely to mean he won't be able to hold down a job?
Let him have the day off, it's one day and will not affect his working life in the future.

laclochette · 10/12/2023 21:20

@ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming Right - we technically get our birthday off work at my company, but many people don't end up taking it as it just isn't a day they can afford not to show up for others. The world doesn't stop for our special little day. And weekends exist!

thesurreymum · 10/12/2023 21:21

Zwellers · 10/12/2023 19:45

Just don't come back in 5 or so years complaining your ds can't hold down a job as he only goes in when he feels like it and can't understand why he can't take a day off because its his birthday/too hot/he needs to some shopping etc etc

Exactly this! My mum let us have our birthdays off as kids and now my sibling takes a day off at the first sight of snow, slightest sniffle or generally can't be bothered.

Zanatdy · 10/12/2023 21:21

No I’ve never allowed it

Chickenwing2 · 10/12/2023 21:24

I would. Let him stay off and have a birthday pyjama party day with games and movies and snacks. He will have a lovely memory for the rest of his life which is far more valuable than 1 day of school.

arlequin · 10/12/2023 21:26

I find this really odd. You can't just miss school for your birthday. I'm a teacher and kids don't do this. I'd be shocked if parents were sanctioning it.

bridgetreilly · 10/12/2023 21:26

I would not. Birthdays just do not need to be that big a deal.

arlequin · 10/12/2023 21:29

Also teachers never take their birthday off. I'm in school every year.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 10/12/2023 21:42

Since the pandemic school is basically optional anyway so you'd may as well crack on. It's up to the government if they want to stop you.

Celebrationsnakes · 10/12/2023 21:42

Wouldn't be happening here. DS has always gone to school on his birthday if it's been a school day. It hasn't entered either of our heads for him not to go tbh.

Flatandhappy · 10/12/2023 22:00

I often let one of mine have a day off on his birthday. Coming to the end of the school year not much was happening and as a profoundly dyslexic kid school was hard work anyway. School knew, I never lied about why he was off, and were fine about it (not in UK). When he was younger we would do things like zoo, aquarium etc. when older maybe an exhibition or a long walk by the beach and lunch. The others had birthdays in holiday time so would get a similar 1:1 treat just not the day off. Clearly not the done thing on MN though!

CurlewKate · 10/12/2023 22:08

@CurlewKate
Well, I have high achieving adult children and one day when they were about 10 and 6 on a whim I drove straight past school and we went to the beach. They still remember it.

1 day, not once a year though"

I would happily have done it once a year, but that particular feeling never overtook me again. If they had ever asked for their birthdays off, I probably would have agreed-but they never did.