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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS stay off school on his birthday?

194 replies

Niffler29 · 10/12/2023 18:53

DS has asked if he can have the day off school on his birthday. He’s 12 and in his first year of high school so no exams coming up or anything. No issues at school/life in general, he’s a good kid. My initial response is no but if I’m being honest, I’ve never worked on my birthday in my life and the company I work for these days gives a an automatic holiday on your birthday so I can kind of see his point.

AIBU to consider it? I think I am but would like other people to confirm so I feel less bad🤣.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 10/12/2023 19:12

Quoted the wrong post, sorry. Meant for the " he's no more special than anyone else" poster

Bearonthestair · 10/12/2023 19:12

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 10/12/2023 19:10

I wouldn't do this.

Is he expecting you to take the day off work as well?

I'm sure he could. Do you not get annual leave? This place is batshit. Let him take it off. Life is short.

cardibach · 10/12/2023 19:13

Skyisbluegrassisgreen · 10/12/2023 19:02

He’s just a kid give him a day off and a fab birthday - adults could book a days holiday if they want why are kids not allowed the same rights.

Not all adults. Teachers, for example, couldn’t.

Keilagh · 10/12/2023 19:14

I would. My mum always let me have a day off on my birthday.

ChickaboomZoom · 10/12/2023 19:14

Nope have never let any of mine stay off school on their birthdays. But when they were little I would send them in with a birthday badge and then pick them up with a happy birthday balloon and go out for ice cream after.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 10/12/2023 19:18

@Bearonthestair yes but most parents I know save their annual leave for illness and school holidays when their children actually cannot be in school.
I was only asking what he expected, as OP didn't mention whether this would be possible (when the birthday is, how far in advance she needs to book leave, how much she has, whether the day is one she can take etc), or what his plans for the day actually were.

Stopsmotheringmeeeeeee · 10/12/2023 19:19

Wow, I can't believe how joyless and uptight so many people are. And I'm a teacher!

Bearonthestair · 10/12/2023 19:22

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 10/12/2023 19:18

@Bearonthestair yes but most parents I know save their annual leave for illness and school holidays when their children actually cannot be in school.
I was only asking what he expected, as OP didn't mention whether this would be possible (when the birthday is, how far in advance she needs to book leave, how much she has, whether the day is one she can take etc), or what his plans for the day actually were.

Sorry crisps , I read your post wrong. Don't mind me, I'm tired and cranky. 😞

I would consider a day off, might be a nice memory for him.

Fixyourself · 10/12/2023 19:22

Life's too short. Let the kid have a day off!

wherethewildtbingsgo · 10/12/2023 19:22

Stopsmotheringmeeeeeee · 10/12/2023 19:19

Wow, I can't believe how joyless and uptight so many people are. And I'm a teacher!

What on earth is joyless and uptight about saying a child should go to school during term time.

If every child took their birthday off it would make teaching classes and lessons incredibly difficult and patchy. If you're a teacher surely you can see this.

OP yes you're absolutely being unreasonable and irresponsible and teaching poor life skills if you allow a child to skive off school for their birthday.

Pianodiano · 10/12/2023 19:23

underneaththeash · 10/12/2023 19:05

I don’t know anyone who does that.
we live in quite a wealthy, high achieving (through hard work) area. So maybe that’s the difference?

Show quote history

Lol. You’re wrong with whatever point you were trying to make but it’s very funny

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 10/12/2023 19:25

I mean I personally think there should be an actual law against working on your birthday but even I don't let mine have the day off, even though they ask-every year.

CurlewKate · 10/12/2023 19:25

What does he want to do with the day?

wherethewildtbingsgo · 10/12/2023 19:27

@Pianodiano I think the point she was trying to make is that most parents who are wealthy and high achieving would not allow their children to skive a day off school for any reason, including birthdays. She perhaps meant that parents who are not used to working in responsible, senior, high achieving jobs might be the sort to see no issue with this, just like they might not see an issue with skiving off their own jobs or pulling sickies.

stepintochristmas1 · 10/12/2023 19:28

For some reason both my kids were born during school holidays , different times of the year though . I wouldn't let him stay off though , it's ridiculous school won't accept that .

CurlewKate · 10/12/2023 19:28

@underneaththeash "I don’t know anyone who does that.
we live in quite a wealthy, high achieving (through hard work) area. So maybe that’s the difference?"

Yep- if it wasn't for all those pesky birthdays....🤣🤣🤣🤣

underneaththeash · 10/12/2023 19:29

CurlewKate · 10/12/2023 19:28

@underneaththeash "I don’t know anyone who does that.
we live in quite a wealthy, high achieving (through hard work) area. So maybe that’s the difference?"

Yep- if it wasn't for all those pesky birthdays....🤣🤣🤣🤣

Eh?

madaboutmad · 10/12/2023 19:34

I’d never even consider it! Something for them to look forward to once they have a job that affords the that choice, if it’s a thing by then.

5foot5 · 10/12/2023 19:34

Pianodiano · 10/12/2023 19:03

Absolutely take it off. Most I know IRL would. But usually whatever the response is IRL for stuff like this mumsnet is the reverse opinion

We obviously have different RLs. I don't know anyone who did this, either when I was a child or when my DD was at school.

It would never have occurred to me to keep her off and she never asked.

I am actually quite astonished how many people on the thread are saying to do it.

Stopsmotheringmeeeeeee · 10/12/2023 19:36

wherethewildtbingsgo · 10/12/2023 19:22

What on earth is joyless and uptight about saying a child should go to school during term time.

If every child took their birthday off it would make teaching classes and lessons incredibly difficult and patchy. If you're a teacher surely you can see this.

OP yes you're absolutely being unreasonable and irresponsible and teaching poor life skills if you allow a child to skive off school for their birthday.

Show quote history

I'm saying it as a teacher and human being of the opinion that life's too short to be judgemental and joyless . Particularly over something which, as a one off - and let's face it, the majority of pupils don't take the day off - really won't make much difference in the scheme of things.

madaboutmad · 10/12/2023 19:36

5foot5 · 10/12/2023 19:34

We obviously have different RLs. I don't know anyone who did this, either when I was a child or when my DD was at school.

It would never have occurred to me to keep her off and she never asked.

I am actually quite astonished how many people on the thread are saying to do it.

Show quote history

Same here, it’s never occurred to me.

dutysuite · 10/12/2023 19:37

One of my children’s birthday is during school time and has always gone in, she’s ok with it, her form tutor is really lovely and always acknowledges birthdays and her friends get her little gifts so she actually gets made a fuss of. 🤣 We go out in the evening and weekend to celebrate.

APurpleSquirrel · 10/12/2023 19:39

My DDs birthday is at the end of the summer holiday & so far has never been in school for it, she must be the only child who actually wants to be in school on her birthday!
DS goes into school on his - wouldn't occur to me to let him have it off. We celebrate at the weekend & usually do something in the evening too.

pavillion1 · 10/12/2023 19:40

CaptainMyCaptain · 10/12/2023 18:54

Of course not. He can't just take days off like that.

But he can 😉

BlueRabbitWasNaughty · 10/12/2023 19:41

I'm also shocked that so many people would be ok with this. I consider (and so do my kids) school to be compulsory.

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