What is worse? Fat or unhappy?

[alphamonkey]

Over the years I've been up and down constantly with my weight. To stay slim I really have to work at it. But unfortunately I really love food. I don't get out much with young dc and I derive a lot of enjoyment from looking forward to a takeaway and a few glasses of wine at the weekend. Or a cup or tea and a chocolate bar before bed. Or a nice sandwich from the deli for lunch. You get the idea. Sure, I could find healthier/lower calorie options but I simply don't enjoy them as much.

However I also don't like looking at photos of myself and being taken aback at how much weight I've put on. I don't like having to get changed 20 times before work or a night out because I'm so self conscious about what clings to me.

I'm at the stage where I feel like I'm always going to be unhappy one way or the other because I simply can't carry on eating the way I do and expect to lose weight. I'm either fat and happy or thinner and hungry/miserable.

Maybe if life was different - I.e I could get out a bit more and mix up my routine I wouldn't have the time to focus on food so much. But with mine and dh work patterns and the dc it's not an option right now.

I'm a size 14 and about 12 stone but in my late thirties now and I know if I keep eating like I am I will get bigger. The weight doesn't seem to come off as easily as it used to even when I do make a conscious effort. None of my efforts seem to last long though because I give in and eat crisps or drink wine again. Because I enjoy it.

So what are your thoughts? I really am getting depressed with the way I look but I just don't want to give up the things I enjoy.

I'm happier when I'm a few pounds lighter, it's really very much to down to how my clothes fit and feel though to be honest. For me it's a comfort issue. I hate it when I'm a bit booze or carb bloated.

Carbs are the problem. If you avoid, or reduce, the carbs in your diet, the weight will either fall off or decline gradually, depending on your approach. I don't count calories and eat pretty much what I like, with the exception of carbs, of which I aim to eat no more than 100g per day, concentrating instead on protein and natural fat, which includes butter, olive oil, and cream. It's an approach which is counter-intuitive because commercial slimming clubs and the NHS all promote carb-heavy food as healthy.

A coffee with cream is far better than a latte because of the lactose (sugar) in the milk. Anything ending in "tose" is a form of sugar - and therefore carbs, and all carb-heavy foods, such as bread, potato, rice, and pasta convert to sugar once ingested, which is why they should be avoided or at least served in smaller portions.

@Biscofffans this is pretty standard for a lot of women to find as they age, it’s harder to lose weight. I could lost weight so fast when I was in my 20’s but in my 40’s I can’t as easily and years of a bad diet caught up with me.

@Menora It wasn’t really a case of it being harder to for my body to lose weight as I grew older . It just became harder to incorporate activity into my daily life. It’s not my first time being overweight- I was overweight /obese from age 21-23, those years I was very sedentary. The month I turned 23 I was 12 stone. I’m now just under 11 stone and in my late 30s.

The exercise and calorie counting I did right after my 23rd birthday took my weight down to 10 stone by age 24. I also lost 2 stone in a similar time frame this time round (13 stone to 11 stone) with exercise and calorie counting although it took a few months longer but that extra time it took makes sense - outside of the gym I wasn’t as active as I’d been the first time round losing weight.

I’d have loved to blame it all on my age 😆but the truth is if you are doing a fraction of your usual
movement while eating the same if not more, it would be more weird if you don’t gain weight lol this was a natural consequence of my own daily decisions.

I think if your lifestyle (activity level and eating habits) hasn’t changed and you pile on 3-4 stone perhaps you can look to other factors such as age, medical issues etc but often it’s best to take a closer look at your lifestyle first. Our bodies are all different but for me personally I know age wasn’t the main factor.

Lots of slim people I know in their late 30s or older seem to have a good appetite and many would consider themselves foodies . Not saying they eat KFC three times a day but they regularly eat decent portions of things like bread, pasta, red meat and sweet snacks etc . They are also reasonably into fitness though and tend to lead active lives (10,000 steps a day) in addition to playing sports or hiking etc. I think without that they’d need to eat smaller less rich meals to maintain their weight.

“slim” may be subjective - so just to clarify majority of them are not as thin as Kate Moss though (and I don’t think they desire to be - I personally wouldn’t) But they’d still be considered slim / healthy weight by most peoples /medical standards.

I had a really bad addiction to sugar, I was eating at least 200g of sweets a day. I got pneumonia & was extremely ill in October & was so ill I was hardly eating, somehow I broke the cycle of binging on sugar. Since then I have lost 2.5 stone in weight & am losing an average of 4lb a week. It doesn't feel like any hardship, I eat well, do a combination of 16:8 & 5:2, I never eat between meals, have gazpacho for brunch & a good evening meal, I even manage to have fish & chips once a week & occasionally something like a Pizza Hut Pizza or a Chinese, on my 2 very low calorie days I have gazpacho for my evening meal as well, 2 portions come in well under 600 calories. I can't exercise as I am severely disabled but am still losing weight.

I'm a bit older than you and my weight has fluctuated. I lost weight once in my 20s through a really miserable year. In my late 30s, in my first pregnancy, I only put on 4 lbs, rather less than my baby weighed - so I'd lost a bit afterwards.

The third time, I was a lot more active than usual and I think I mostly lost weight through walking about a lot.

I don't recommend being miserable or pregnancy sickness as ways to lose weight.

However, in my 50s I've put on quite a lot of weight again, and I have health issues that I am hoping to get better control over through losing some weight - I've been told I'm diabetic so I need to do something. I'm also a bit fed up in other ways, and am at risk of being fat, miserable and unhealthy, so I'm thinking I need to find ways of improving a bit on all of them.

I need to get started on an action plan but it's mainly:

• not to say I'll never have unhealthy treats but to reduce/cut them down very significantly and make sure they are treats
• get more exercise - I can't really afford anything that costs much money now so that will have to be more walking and less sloth

Is there anything that would feel like a treat to you that you can replace edible/drinkable ones with?