Page 5 | To feel sad my friend got Botox?

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 2023-12-09T19:35:03+00:00

Now her smile doesn't reach her eyes. I LOVED her smiley eyes, she had a really twinkly grin. I guess she was insecure about her crow's feet and got injections to get rid of them. And now she looks sort of wide-eyed and frozen and it just makes me sad! She doesn't look like herself any more. She's incredibly naturally beautiful, classic Grace Kelly looks, and an amazing bone structure. So she would have aged beautifully I'm sure, without needing injectables. I know it's none of my business really. And I'd never say anything negative to her. And I know Botox doesn't last forever and she may well not get it done again. But AIBU at feeling a little bit sad at the loss of my friend's lovely warm smile?

fluffi · 10/12/2023 06:53

YABVU. It’s hardly a “loss” because Botox is temporary … it will wear off in months, it’s not permanent.

It’s a bit odd you have any feelings of sadness about your friend face TBH

Lovelycupofcoffee · 10/12/2023 07:09

@TinklyofLaughSingleofChin you are not alone . I never get why women have it done either but hey personal choice. If we all liked the same things wouldn’t it be a boring world . I’m not brave enough to get it done anyway 🤣

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 10/12/2023 07:29

@FuckHonestlyKnows

”Why 'should' we celebrate aging? I don't fucking want to look older, get older, act older. I'm happy sticking where I am thanks.”

Maybe because we’re all going to look older, get older, act older and none of us has a hope of sticking where we are? So a society in which aging was at least accepted would make that inevitable process much easier!

It would be sooo much more beneficial if the time and money and focus we poured into erasing the visible effects of aging as society were instead dedicated to keeping our bodies and minds healthy as we age. With the focus being on ageing well, rather than not ageing.

I don’t think it’s sanctimonious or judgmental to want that or to talk about the unrealistic pressure on women especially.

bobotothegogo · 10/12/2023 07:40

YANBU - when my sister went for botox and collagen I felt so sad as I couldn't understand how she couldn't see the perfect, lovely face I saw.

Lots of defensive posters on this thread - OP hasn't tried to make her friend feel bad.

ChateauDuMont · 10/12/2023 07:52

It's not that she has had Botox just that she has had it badly done!

When it's done we'll, your face doesn't look frozen.

MissTrip82 · 10/12/2023 08:01

Goodness how patronising.

Be a friend.

If changing your appearance in an attempt to conceal ageing is so unpleasant to you you’re about to get a massive shock about how many women dye their hair.

Pickledprawn · 10/12/2023 08:39

I agree with you. People's faces all start to morph into the same face with injectables.

Delatron · 10/12/2023 08:46

bobotothegogo · 10/12/2023 07:40

YANBU - when my sister went for botox and collagen I felt so sad as I couldn't understand how she couldn't see the perfect, lovely face I saw.

Lots of defensive posters on this thread - OP hasn't tried to make her friend feel bad.

What do you mean collagen?

I think there’s many ‘sad’ posters in here who don’t really understand treatments. A light sprinkle of Botox should not be noticeable.

I agree many overdo it though and it’s easy to lose perspective and overdo it.

AhBiscuits · 10/12/2023 08:49

It starts getting into uncanny valley territory and freaks me out. When you're talking to someone and their expressions are off, their smile doesn't reach their eyes etc. I have a friend with so much lip filler she can't even smile normally any more.
You don't get many men doing this shit.

Infusedwithfigandhoney · 10/12/2023 08:53

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/12/2023 19:46

YABU because it's just a bit of Botox and it will wear off.

But yes, communicating with someone who has just had Botox is a bit disconcerting because micro expressions they had before are absent, and some part of your mind notices the lack of response and feedback as a negative reaction.

The research coming out about this is really concerning.
Botox creates changes in the brain similar to diseases like Parkinsons because of the lack of facial responses in the recipients.
Their own facial response stimulates the brain.

I was pondering what effect have a parent with botox has on children's development.
No doubt I will be told to lighten up yada yada

Alohapotato · 10/12/2023 08:54

Not your business. You sound jealous

Psyberbaby · 10/12/2023 08:54

Cba reading 5 pages: did we ever get the double eyelid expression?!

I don't know why people are so obsessed with "perfecting" their looks to the point of erasing quirks that can actually be really alluring. My sister is really pretty and has a very very slight overbite that gives her smile something slightly childlike and goofy. It's very charming IMO. These are the little details that make people magnetic.

HotGirlInHell · 10/12/2023 08:54

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 10/12/2023 07:29

@FuckHonestlyKnows

”Why 'should' we celebrate aging? I don't fucking want to look older, get older, act older. I'm happy sticking where I am thanks.”

Maybe because we’re all going to look older, get older, act older and none of us has a hope of sticking where we are? So a society in which aging was at least accepted would make that inevitable process much easier!

It would be sooo much more beneficial if the time and money and focus we poured into erasing the visible effects of aging as society were instead dedicated to keeping our bodies and minds healthy as we age. With the focus being on ageing well, rather than not ageing.

I don’t think it’s sanctimonious or judgmental to want that or to talk about the unrealistic pressure on women especially.

Why is it either/ or though?

Or do you think people who get Botox are so focused on those 4- monthly injections that take three minutes that we have no brain space left to think about aging healthily?

Cas112 · 10/12/2023 08:55

FuckingHellAdele · 09/12/2023 19:52

Don't be sad.

It gives you lines.

😂😂

AhBiscuits · 10/12/2023 09:00

Infusedwithfigandhoney · 10/12/2023 08:53

The research coming out about this is really concerning.
Botox creates changes in the brain similar to diseases like Parkinsons because of the lack of facial responses in the recipients.
Their own facial response stimulates the brain.

I was pondering what effect have a parent with botox has on children's development.
No doubt I will be told to lighten up yada yada

Show quote history

This is a good point which I'd never really thought about. Tiny babies are fascinated by faces, it must make a difference if those faces don't move in a natural way and are less expressive.

napody · 10/12/2023 09:02

Infusedwithfigandhoney · 10/12/2023 08:53

The research coming out about this is really concerning.
Botox creates changes in the brain similar to diseases like Parkinsons because of the lack of facial responses in the recipients.
Their own facial response stimulates the brain.

I was pondering what effect have a parent with botox has on children's development.
No doubt I will be told to lighten up yada yada

Show quote history

Do you have links to research on this?
I don't mean this in a challenging way, it sounds very interesting.

mangochops · 10/12/2023 09:04

ANightingale · 09/12/2023 19:37

I think you're over-reacting a bit.

This. She's had a bit of botox, not had a leg removed. Slight overreaction.

MigGirl · 10/12/2023 09:07

I don't know why anyone would get botox for wrinkles. I have to have it for medical reasons and it bloody hurts a lot, there is no way I'd do it for cosmetic reasons.

Sparrow7 · 10/12/2023 09:07

I think people look at themselves in the mirror or for a photo and think they look better with Botox. but they don't don't stand there talking to themselves so they don't realize how horrible it is. So many films and TV shows now are ruined by the actresses being so wooden looking. Facial expressions are such a huge part of being human.

Delatron · 10/12/2023 09:08

I thought that there was also research out showing that Botox uses were less stressed and felt calmer as they couldn’t frown!

It doesn’t erase all expression. I can still raise my eyebrows - I still have lines but slightly less than normal.

I’m not sure babies will suffer if their Mum’s can’t frown at them?! They can smile and have expressions.

Cosywintertime · 10/12/2023 09:11

God what drama lol. Over a bit of Botox.

balmysummerevening · 10/12/2023 09:11

Also for everyone saying how is it your business if your friend got Botox. Well unobtainable beauty standards and attitudes to aging are all our business. Yes everyone is entitled to make their own decisions but at least have the self awareness to acknowledge that those decisions don’t happen in a vacuum, they add to the steady drip drip drip of pressure on women not to age

By this rationale, anyone who shaves their legs, armpits, wears makeup, dyes their hair etc is letting other women down as this is also creating an unnatural expectation of beauty. What about high heels and their effect on posture, the back, and creating bunions? All of those choices contribute towards a lack of women being allowed to be "natural" too.

Delatron · 10/12/2023 09:11

MigGirl · 10/12/2023 09:07

I don't know why anyone would get botox for wrinkles. I have to have it for medical reasons and it bloody hurts a lot, there is no way I'd do it for cosmetic reasons.

It doesn’t hurt at all on the face. I honestly don’t feel it. Profhilo though stings like a bugger.

Maybe underarms it hurts a lot more.

Circularargument · 10/12/2023 09:14

Mangotango39 · 09/12/2023 19:45

Your friend can do whatever she wants to feel better in herself. Dont say anything to shame her!

Ofgs. Keep on bowing to the Patriarchy, why don't you? If we never challenge this shit we stay enslaved to "women have to look young, we must do anything however costly and/or risky". It's such pathetic bollocks.
OP has already said she won't say anything.

Circularargument · 10/12/2023 09:16

balmysummerevening · 10/12/2023 09:11

Also for everyone saying how is it your business if your friend got Botox. Well unobtainable beauty standards and attitudes to aging are all our business. Yes everyone is entitled to make their own decisions but at least have the self awareness to acknowledge that those decisions don’t happen in a vacuum, they add to the steady drip drip drip of pressure on women not to age

By this rationale, anyone who shaves their legs, armpits, wears makeup, dyes their hair etc is letting other women down as this is also creating an unnatural expectation of beauty. What about high heels and their effect on posture, the back, and creating bunions? All of those choices contribute towards a lack of women being allowed to be "natural" too.

Straw man argument. Poster you replied to said fuck all about letting anyone down. It's about ridiculous beauty standards.

Fwiw all those other things count too, if they are the result of pressure and fear, and a lot more of them are than the "choice feminists" choose to admit.