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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad my friend got Botox?

184 replies

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:35

Now her smile doesn't reach her eyes. I LOVED her smiley eyes, she had a really twinkly grin. I guess she was insecure about her crow's feet and got injections to get rid of them. And now she looks sort of wide-eyed and frozen and it just makes me sad! She doesn't look like herself any more.

She's incredibly naturally beautiful, classic Grace Kelly looks, and an amazing bone structure. So she would have aged beautifully I'm sure, without needing injectables.

I know it's none of my business really. And I'd never say anything negative to her. And I know Botox doesn't last forever and she may well not get it done again. But AIBU at feeling a little bit sad at the loss of my friend's lovely warm smile?

OP posts:
Pipistrellus · 09/12/2023 20:23

EmmaEmerald · 09/12/2023 20:20

YABU
also waiting for an explanation of double eyelid 😂

Isn't it the most common type of eyelid? It's usually people of Asian descent that have single eyelids.

Boomboom22 · 09/12/2023 20:24

Obviously yanbu as she must be unhappy to do this. It is very sad and even sadder that it makes anyone look worse. Shame. The vote is weird.

momonpurpose · 09/12/2023 20:26

FuckHonestlyKnows · 09/12/2023 19:41

YABU. It's literally no business of yours.

Absolutely none of your business

Snowdogsmitten · 09/12/2023 20:26

Well, I bloody love Botox. It’s amazing stuff. Leave your friend alone.

Tandora · 09/12/2023 20:27

Keilagh · 09/12/2023 19:54

Aw be happy for her! I see where you’re coming from but if it makes her feel more confident then so be it.

This!!

I personally think Botox looks crap, but you have an absolutely no business being “sad” about what someone else does with their face 🥴. Be a friend, take your judgy pants off and embrace what makes her happy.

Azandme · 09/12/2023 20:28

HollowEgg · 09/12/2023 19:39

I love my Botox

Me too!

OkayScooby · 09/12/2023 20:30

Yanbu. Hopefully it will wear off quickly and your friend will look like herself again soon.
There is someone in my yoga class with a face full of botox and it just looks weird .

MadamVastra · 09/12/2023 20:35

what happened to our body our choice?

Pipistrellus · 09/12/2023 20:45

MadamVastra · 09/12/2023 20:35

what happened to our body our choice?

You can still have feelings or opinions about other people's choices. It doesn't mean you don't understand it is their choice.

TerrysNeapolitan · 09/12/2023 20:45

I know what you mean, friend started this, now has a frozen face, just weird eyebrows like Mr Spock and two sausages for lips. I hardly recognise her. She looks tragic.

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 09/12/2023 20:49

I did Botox and my DH didn't even notice. I think your friend just overdid it. It's perfectly possible to get Botox and still retain some crinkliness around the eyes.

boscabosco · 09/12/2023 20:49

tell her she looks worse; never saw anyone look better with it and yet so many all for the lie.

SurferRona · 09/12/2023 20:52

Is this a double eyelid? I think it means an obvious mobile lid on an eye. On lots of people it disappears under the underbrow non mobile bit. This is Jacque thingy who replaced Siobhan in Banananaramamama.

To feel sad my friend got Botox?
Purplecatshopaholic · 09/12/2023 20:53

Sorry op but you sound really patronising. You were right the first time, it’s none of your business.

BlueFlint · 09/12/2023 20:57

I understand OP. On the one hand, I feel like people should absolutely do whatever they like with their bodies. On the other, I wonder if Botox is going to be one of those things that people look back decades in the future and ask what the hell we were thinking. I believe most modern beauty standards have been devised, over time, by rich old men in boardrooms; there's a lot of money to be made by making women feel uncomfortable with natural aging. How are we in a situation that using toxins to paralyse parts of your face is now the norm? It's objectively weird, right? I'm pretty crinkly for my age and I'm not going to say that I love it, but I'm trying not to give it too much headspace. I definitely feel the pressure though!

OuiOuiKitty · 09/12/2023 20:58

I get what you mean. People have facial expressions for a reason, we use them to read people and when their facial expressions aren't 'normal' it can be quite disconcerting. Botox crying face was trending recently because it is so absurd. So long as you just think it and don't say it's grand.

Ilovelemonandsugarpancakes · 09/12/2023 21:05

How do you actually know she got botox?

MyUsernameIsBetterThanYours · 09/12/2023 21:05

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

Also for everyone saying how is it your business if your friend got Botox. Well unobtainable beauty standards and attitudes to aging are all our business. Yes everyone is entitled to make their own decisions but at least have the self awareness to acknowledge that those decisions don’t happen in a vacuum, they add to the steady drip drip drip of pressure on women not to age.

I wouldn’t verbalise any of this to a friend who got Botox, because the relationship is more important than that.

jennyt82 · 09/12/2023 21:07

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 09/12/2023 20:49

I did Botox and my DH didn't even notice. I think your friend just overdid it. It's perfectly possible to get Botox and still retain some crinkliness around the eyes.

Same, I have Botox, I like it, it just erases the lines a bit and I feel better with it. My husband has never noticed or my best friend and she would definitely say something if she had noticed!

Delatron · 09/12/2023 21:07

If she’s just had it a few weeks ago she’ll be peak Botox right now. It always looks better as you go in to the 2nd month and Botox round the eyes wears off much quicker than the forehead.

Agree that Botox around the eyes is such a tricky area to get right and too much can result in a very ‘dead behind the eyes’ look.

It always looks better when wearing off.

AllGoneToPott · 09/12/2023 21:19

Let's hope our younger generation have more about them than to be so vain and shallow that they resort to this.
What a terrible example we are teaching them.
It is a priverlege to grow older and wiser.

Delatron · 09/12/2023 21:23

Well considering the amount of filler and sausage lips in the ‘younger generation’ I don’t hold out much hope. And that looks far worse than a little bit of Botox.

TerrysNeapolitan · 09/12/2023 21:34

Delatron · 09/12/2023 21:23

Well considering the amount of filler and sausage lips in the ‘younger generation’ I don’t hold out much hope. And that looks far worse than a little bit of Botox.

Agree. The amount of young 20s girls with duck lips is insane. Is it a thing once you start this stuff you cannot see what I see? Profile of a duck. Frozen faces. Absolutely insane eyebrows a la Star Trek 1986. Someone told me they only had like 1ml of filler in their lips - they looked like Orville. Don't get me on the arse fillers.....

TiptoeThroughTheToadstools · 09/12/2023 21:46

YABU what's it got to do with you?

Flump8 · 09/12/2023 22:01

MadamVastra · 09/12/2023 20:35

what happened to our body our choice?

So what, we aren't allowed to have feelings anymore?