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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad my friend got Botox?

184 replies

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:35

Now her smile doesn't reach her eyes. I LOVED her smiley eyes, she had a really twinkly grin. I guess she was insecure about her crow's feet and got injections to get rid of them. And now she looks sort of wide-eyed and frozen and it just makes me sad! She doesn't look like herself any more.

She's incredibly naturally beautiful, classic Grace Kelly looks, and an amazing bone structure. So she would have aged beautifully I'm sure, without needing injectables.

I know it's none of my business really. And I'd never say anything negative to her. And I know Botox doesn't last forever and she may well not get it done again. But AIBU at feeling a little bit sad at the loss of my friend's lovely warm smile?

OP posts:
Universalsnail · 09/12/2023 22:04

Yabu. If she feels happier with Botox then good for her.

NC543210 · 09/12/2023 22:20

I think you're being ridiculously OTT.

FuckHonestlyKnows · 09/12/2023 22:45

I got Botox in my 11s and knew my mum would not be able to restrain herself from commenting.

So I told her I had booked to get it done next week and she was all 'you'll look frozen and ridiculous'

To which I said...actually I had it done two weeks ago and you didn't notice so it can't be that bad.

She still moans. I still love it.

Inanun2 · 09/12/2023 22:55

What’s more weird is people with botox can apparently tell when someone else has had it too.
I learned recently that 2 people I work with ( in their early 30’s) have it regularly, I had no clue but they said they can alway recognise a face with botox ?
I must be just really unobservant and have had no botox but do think it’s up to the individual, if that makes them more confident they so be it. No concern of mine.

Damonalbarnsbigtoe · 09/12/2023 22:57

I don’t think you should be sad. It’s not your face. I honestly do not care less what my friends do with their faces. As long they’re healthy and happy, I’m happy.

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 09/12/2023 23:07

I'd feel the same. A friend of mine has had so much Botox and fillers that she doesn't look the same anymore. She looks quite hideous but was fine before.

I'll be flamed for saying that but it is what it is.

Schmusimausi73 · 09/12/2023 23:09

FuckHonestlyKnows · 09/12/2023 22:45

I got Botox in my 11s and knew my mum would not be able to restrain herself from commenting.

So I told her I had booked to get it done next week and she was all 'you'll look frozen and ridiculous'

To which I said...actually I had it done two weeks ago and you didn't notice so it can't be that bad.

She still moans. I still love it.

You had Botox done when you were ELEVEN?

Delatron · 09/12/2023 23:20

Inanun2 · 09/12/2023 22:55

What’s more weird is people with botox can apparently tell when someone else has had it too.
I learned recently that 2 people I work with ( in their early 30’s) have it regularly, I had no clue but they said they can alway recognise a face with botox ?
I must be just really unobservant and have had no botox but do think it’s up to the individual, if that makes them more confident they so be it. No concern of mine.

Yeah if you are familiar with Botox you can see some telltale signs. I do think there’s some bad work and some
more good, subtle work which is less detectable. It’s best not to keep going back every 3 months and keep having a good break to not lose sense of perspective.

Men never notice though..

WyanWeynolds · 09/12/2023 23:36

I understand where you are coming from. I feel sad when I see anyone with botox/fillers etc. Aging should be celebrated, not something we should be fighting against. Age is beauty and the pressure put on people (especially women) to look a certain way is worrying.

Tigertigertigertiger · 09/12/2023 23:41

Yes I'd feel the same

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 09/12/2023 23:52

@Schmusimausi73 you know she didn't.

FuckHonestlyKnows · 09/12/2023 23:53

No @Schmusimausi73 😆😆

The 11s are the vertical lines between your eyebrows.

Snowdogsmitten · 09/12/2023 23:56

Schmusimausi73 · 09/12/2023 23:09

You had Botox done when you were ELEVEN?

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

FuckHonestlyKnows · 09/12/2023 23:57

WyanWeynolds · 09/12/2023 23:36

I understand where you are coming from. I feel sad when I see anyone with botox/fillers etc. Aging should be celebrated, not something we should be fighting against. Age is beauty and the pressure put on people (especially women) to look a certain way is worrying.

Why 'should' we celebrate aging? I don't fucking want to look older, get older, act older. I'm happy sticking where I am thanks.

Why must we do this disapproving sanctimonious act; fuck it, it's your face and body, do whatever the hell you want with it!

WinterDeWinter · 10/12/2023 00:03

I’ve been on here for 20 years and every year there are more and more women who assert that this stuff is empowering and ‘her choice’ and refuse to see that it’s all part of the same patriarchy that causes all the other shit things that happen to women.

yes it’s her choice. But that choice isn’t made in a vacuum, so let’s not pretend it’s liberating.

QueenBean22 · 10/12/2023 00:05

It will wear off. It always feels a bit tight in the first couple of weeks

the main thing is that she is happy with it

FuckHonestlyKnows · 10/12/2023 00:05

Let's also not pretend that me not dying my hair past age 30 or using Botox to delay the progress of my crow's feet by a few years is really fucking over the patriarchy.

Notsurewhatodohere · 10/12/2023 00:08

I understand what OP is saying, I was quite shocked when I noticed that my sister had had botox in her forehead. Mainly I felt sad that she felt the need to spend money and time to try and look younger than her actual age and also sad that the result looked unnatural. For those who are using botox to look younger aren't you worried that this is not sustainable and there will be a tipping point when you start to look weird?

WinterDeWinter · 10/12/2023 00:11

FuckHonestlyKnows · 10/12/2023 00:05

Let's also not pretend that me not dying my hair past age 30 or using Botox to delay the progress of my crow's feet by a few years is really fucking over the patriarchy.

i didn’t say that did I?

HotGirlInHell · 10/12/2023 00:13

See, I never get that argument. Do you think that about women who cover their grey hair? That they'll never be able to stop and that they'll eventually look weird?

People say it a lot - once you start you'll be stuck doing it forever. Why would that be? Maybe at 55 I'll be fine with it. But I'm not ready at 42.

Notsurewhatodohere · 10/12/2023 00:14

I get people wanting to look good but botox doesn't seem to achieve that, even Nicolle Kidman who is naturally good looking and has plenty of money to spend on her appearance now looks very strange due to botox and fillers.

Notsurewhatodohere · 10/12/2023 00:15

Hair keeps growing so you can cut it off and let it grow back but you only get one face.

Wrongcrued · 10/12/2023 00:47

I really don't get it, if it's so subtle that your partner or best friend doesn't notice then surely it begs the question why bother??

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 10/12/2023 06:37

Everyone seems to be getting botox and fillers and lips done now and young women in their 20's. It is now seem as normal as a trip to hairdressers. Say nothing unless she asks and tell her she is beautiful and does not even need botox but how you understand it is her choice but so many feel the pressure to do it all. People seem to get very touchy about it all. Shame that there is this pressure on women now and I would worry if I got something done that I would want more and more done.

NashvilleQueen · 10/12/2023 06:49

How old is she?

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