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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad my friend got Botox?

184 replies

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:35

Now her smile doesn't reach her eyes. I LOVED her smiley eyes, she had a really twinkly grin. I guess she was insecure about her crow's feet and got injections to get rid of them. And now she looks sort of wide-eyed and frozen and it just makes me sad! She doesn't look like herself any more.

She's incredibly naturally beautiful, classic Grace Kelly looks, and an amazing bone structure. So she would have aged beautifully I'm sure, without needing injectables.

I know it's none of my business really. And I'd never say anything negative to her. And I know Botox doesn't last forever and she may well not get it done again. But AIBU at feeling a little bit sad at the loss of my friend's lovely warm smile?

OP posts:
FuckingHellAdele · 09/12/2023 19:52

Don't be sad.

It gives you lines.

TheKnittedCharacter · 09/12/2023 19:52

You sound odd. Are you really that invested in your friend's smiley eyes?

Botox is fabulous. Don't judge people who choose to have it because of how it impacts you (but obviously it doesn't impact you at all).

RudsyFarmer · 09/12/2023 19:53

I hate Botox. I’ve had it a few times in the past and it’s one of the things I wouldn’t get again. It makes people’s face very weird when they are animated and I understand your sadness whilst equally agreeing you should say nothing. Expression is EVERYTHING!!

Keilagh · 09/12/2023 19:54

Aw be happy for her! I see where you’re coming from but if it makes her feel more confident then so be it.

Original poster
TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:54

@TheYearOfSmallThings I think this is a large part of it, it's still really new and she just can't move her face as much and it's sort of deadened her a bit.

OP posts:
Torganer · 09/12/2023 19:55

My friends have put on weight, lost weight, had a breast reduction, had a nose job, had a drastic haircut/colour. As long as they are happy that’s all that matters surely? Can’t say I’ve mourned the loss of their boobs/bump in nose/etc.

ANightingale · 09/12/2023 19:55

botox, not drowned a puppy

😁

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/12/2023 19:56

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:54

@TheYearOfSmallThings I think this is a large part of it, it's still really new and she just can't move her face as much and it's sort of deadened her a bit.

Don't worry, it will ease up a bit soon, and also you will get used to it.

AhBiscuits · 09/12/2023 19:57

Yanbu. I missy friend's old face too.

Mrgrinch · 09/12/2023 19:59

To be honest I think you're being nasty.

Would you feel the same if someone grew a beard, changed their hair colour, got a tattoo? What people do with their own body is their own business and the fact that you're sad she won't be as pleasant for you to look at is pretty awful.

LunaTheCat · 09/12/2023 20:02

I hear you OP - the normalisation of injections and fillers is sad. It’s a feminist issue.

atthebottomofthehill · 09/12/2023 20:03

TinklyofLaughSingleofChin · 09/12/2023 19:50

@Floralsofa People post about loads of old shite on Mumsnet, it's not reserved solely for matters of great importance 😒

OP, I know exactly what you mean and I think it's perfectly valid. I would feel the same about my friends.

You must have known however that mumsnet would kick off about this post so don't pretend to be bothered by people's comments 😎

Mushroomketchup · 09/12/2023 20:04

The eyes are called the windows to the soul for a reason though. It's different to a tattoo or a haircut or whatever

Waitingfordoggo · 09/12/2023 20:04

I don’t get the impression the OP thinks her friend’s face looks unpleasant- just that she looks less like her friend! Faces are very expressive. Sometimes Botox can make people look not quite like themselves in a way that a haircut/tattoo etc doesn’t.

Some of my friends have Botox. Some still look like themselves with the same expressions, others less so.

CasaAmarela · 09/12/2023 20:07

Hmm I think YANBU as long as you don't say anything. I had eye botox a few months ago and hated how my smile no longer reached my eyes. Love it for my forehead though

Newsenmum · 09/12/2023 20:09

Yup! But then I find a lot of this kind of things sad. Women never see how beautiful they are.

LadyLeei · 09/12/2023 20:09

It will settle. I have a few weeks when I look a bit frozen after botox, but it settles and I look like me again. I love Botox and I also consider myself a feminist!

cantbecaught · 09/12/2023 20:13

LunaTheCat · 09/12/2023 20:02

I hear you OP - the normalisation of injections and fillers is sad. It’s a feminist issue.

Agree

Flump8 · 09/12/2023 20:15

Of course you can privately feel sad.

Heloo · 09/12/2023 20:15

Bireadwhatiread · 09/12/2023 19:41

It's not about you though. I mean, I have felt the same when my friends lovely large double eyelid disappeared under heavy eyebrows but I said nothing and now a few years later she is wrinkle free- they never got a chance to form.

It's their decision and their life.

Sorry this has made me LOL. As per pp, what the heck is a lovely large double eyelid??

Cupcakekiller · 09/12/2023 20:17

Why do you care what your friend looks like? What a bizarre and patronising post.

MaidOfSteel · 09/12/2023 20:18

I can understand where you're coming from, OP. Our faces are so expressive, communicative and really a part of who we are. It's sad that women are scared of a few laughter lines or eye crinkles.

EmmaEmerald · 09/12/2023 20:20

YABU
also waiting for an explanation of double eyelid 😂

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 09/12/2023 20:22

YANBU to feel sad.

It's not like you're planning on saying anything to her.

I totally get where you're coming from.

FluffyKitty007 · 09/12/2023 20:22

@TinklyofLaughSingleofChin you feel how you feel. Your feelings are not unreasonable, they are feelings! (I think I sound like my therapist 🤣)

Botox and fillers overall make me feel sad too, I feel most of the time there is no need for it but each to their own

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