To think this is racist?

[RomaniWoman]

Hey everyone, I'd love some opinions on this situation.

I have recently started a new job in France. My colleague asked me where I was originally from, I told her that I was a Romani, born in England. Hence the accent.

But then it escalated when she went " But you are white" , I insisted that I wasn't white." My mum is a Romani from Ireland and my father a Romani from Romania.

The next day, the same colleague approached me and said " You need to stop saying you're a Gypsy, you don't look like one, why describe yourself as someone who steals and begs?"

She said that sh*t front of 5 other people, and nobody seemed surprised
. I just hesitantly responded " That's pretty racist".

Omg, then the " you are white" blablabla started. My partner then agreed, when I told her, that I should just say I am English because we aren't perceived as a "good" community.

I already know how we are perceived and treated and refuse to deny my identity.

Am I crazy, or is it highly inappropriate, regardless of my skin colour?

Sure! If that can give more insight/information. I am more than happy to share my culture!

Puer de vagin, c'est pire, non ?

Same! I am sallow skinned and go very dark in the sun. As a child I used to be called Pakistani slurs in the summer months, but I am very much “white passing”. Darker skinned but blue eyes, medium brown hair, Eurocentric facial features. So calling myself anything other than white feels wrong.

I definitely think your area affects how your community feels about the word “gypsy”. In Scotland “gypo” is a word used against the Irish travellers we have here. So I think there’s a distancing of sorts. A “We aren’t what you mean when you say gypsies. We’re Romani”. & there’s the obvious cultural appropriation. The brands selling beaded bracelets or maxi skirts calling themselves Gypsy Wanderer or the Instagram accounts of 21 year old Americans who went to Bali one summer so their handle is travellinggypsyprincess33 So there’s a sense of the term losing any original meaning and “Romani” feeling more specific. Also most Romani people I know aren’t travelling on the sense people think of when they say “travellers” or “gypsies”. We have mortgages and office jobs like everyone else 😂

That’s France for you, why do you think so many want to risk death getting out of France to the UK in small boats? France is a very intolerant country.

I feel the opposite. I am pale with blonde hair and blue eyes BUT I do not like calling myseld white. White is too broad, White is a social construct, White isn't a language, culture ( apart in the US apparently). "White" people AKA Non-Romanis Europeans, oppressed us for so long, stereotype us.

My father is very very very proud of his heritage, and told me so many stories of his childhood in Romania, where his family and him were treated like roaches.

But, in 2023, all the Romani I know live a "sedentary " lifestyle. So idk lots of people think we go around in caravans, and beg.

The word Gypsy is used by people, regardless. I used to hate it. But now, I sort of feel a certain affinity with all the different nomads. Because, either way, they get classified as "Gypsy".

That. Exactly.

As a white skinned Brit it's fine. Much less so if you're brown/black and particularly Muslim.

What did the comment say? It is deleted now, so cant see. I agree with you racism or any kind of discrimination is not acceptable, no matter what culture you are from.

It is a homophobic country too. My wife and I never hold hands, but you see straight couple making out like there was no tomorrow.

I think, I won't able to cope, time to have a serious discussion with my wife I think.

Thanks to all the empathic and helpful posters.

Views are more openly expressed? That makes it ok? Seriously?

Of course its racist; and of course you should do something about it. Maybe you will not get anywhere with your raising of the issue because its France where views are more openly expressed... but its still wrong!

Giving reasons for why something may have happened isn't excusing it or saying it is OK.

Sadly it has been now been so misappropriated by the daily fail reading, anti immigrant misogynistic types that I fear it will be hard to reclaim.

Now...you haven't heard of sundown towns?

Absolutely racist. Sorry you’ve experienced this ❤️

Racist

@RomaniWoman nope I work with a lot of French people and they are just very direct and matter of fact.

Agree! The French can be direct to the point of being rude. However, I rather that than people not saying what they are really thinking 🤨 Like you are in an office and they are polite but exclude you in other ways that also matters to you.

I'm sorry you suffered such digusting racism at work OP.

I'm a bit confused by how you describe your heritage though. You say your mum is Romani from Ireland, but then you say your mother is Irish for at least 4 or 5 generations. Is it possible she is Irish Traveller then, rather than Romani? They're totally different ethnicities.

Ireland was a poor country until fairly recently and significant numbers of Roma only started arriving in the late 1980s. That's what's confusing. It would be extremely unusual to have a Romani family in Ireland going back 5 generations.

@Miracleglaze

Yup, she is. But since she married my father , she refers to herself has a Romani. It is common for children to take their father's "culture", like in many societies. The patriarchy is everywhere.

I know nothing about Irish travellers, all my life I have been around Romani people. Everytime I go back there, it is to see my maternal family - who do not call themselves Irish-.

Oh I see. What do your mother's family call themselves out of interest?

Irish Traveller society is very patriarchal too. At least it seems so to an onlooker.