To think this is racist?

[RomaniWoman]

Hey everyone, I'd love some opinions on this situation.

I have recently started a new job in France. My colleague asked me where I was originally from, I told her that I was a Romani, born in England. Hence the accent.

But then it escalated when she went " But you are white" , I insisted that I wasn't white." My mum is a Romani from Ireland and my father a Romani from Romania.

The next day, the same colleague approached me and said " You need to stop saying you're a Gypsy, you don't look like one, why describe yourself as someone who steals and begs?"

She said that sh*t front of 5 other people, and nobody seemed surprised
. I just hesitantly responded " That's pretty racist".

Omg, then the " you are white" blablabla started. My partner then agreed, when I told her, that I should just say I am English because we aren't perceived as a "good" community.

I already know how we are perceived and treated and refuse to deny my identity.

Am I crazy, or is it highly inappropriate, regardless of my skin colour?

I have met quite a few.

Unfortunately these types of comments making sweeping statements about France are very typical in the UK.

Et moi aussi !

I have had so many racist comments about being a gypsy, even from teachers at the schools I work at.
Whenever our culture is mentioned online the comments are flooded with racism and hatred.
But no one seems to care.

Yes, it is racist, but your partner has agreed that you should lie about your true heritage to people for the sake of a quiet life.

It is disheartening that you have to this but it’s not just Romani who are faced with this dilemma, it’s been going on for a very long time. You won’t get rid of prejudice and discrimination - you can fight it all the way or you can give in as your partner suggests.

Interesting

My mum is Romany, family background is mostly traditional english Rom but also some Welsh kale and theres a little bit of a Russian Romani leg of the family.

My family all call themselves gypsies and would scoff at the suggestion they shouldn't. I think this will most definitely vary community to community.

Like you, though, no one in my family would consider themselves anything but white. We are quite a 'dark' family, lots of black hair, dark eyes, etc and no one is exactly pale but still most definitely white.

That shocked me! Where do you live where black men are still lynched?

It's racist.

People are racist about the traveller communities (including Romani and Irish travellers) here in England too, more openly than others and with less challenge, but I get the impression it's much worse in some European countries. Here, I've come across it through local traveller sites being targeted as available for redevelopment, through support services being cut, but also in dismissive or prejudiced comments from local politicians or activists.

My wife told me how bad it was in her small town, we moved to the capital city, and her, too, quite surprised that it was bad there too.

She is the "typical" Romani looking woman, and thinks I should just keep our culture for home, and pretend. The sad thing is that she wishes she was blonde and pale like me but I wish I was dark skinned and "cliché looking ".

What your colleague said was disgusting racism. Make no mistake, anti zyganism is definitely racism, just because you might appear 'white' does not make any difference to that. I have heard similar bad logic used about anti semitism: some bad faith actors claim to believe that it isn't valid because many Jewish people are white. Nonsense all around and you would be more than justified in escalating this.

I am a half black woman and I hate this sort of attitude. It seems that a lot of social justice activists play a kind of Top Trumps of racism with a hierachy whereby Black people are supposed to be the most oppressed, and are thereby incapable of racism, white people are never ever victims of racism, and everyone else is scrabbling for their place in the oppression league tables. I got absolutely roasted on my Facebook a few weeks ago for expressing support for Israel, by some moron who thinks that all Black people should support Palestine. It is all so toxic and stupid.

I find this fascinating and am rather interested in this. Could you extrapolate? It would be interesting to know about your culture and language.

I'm sorry that you're getting such racist and rude comments at work, @RomaniWoman. And that some other Romani people including your own French-Romani wife, don't feel able say openly who you both are and be proud of it.

I can't give you advice on how best to deal with it - I only know about your posts here that I've so far read, and I know even less about your workplace and the culture of the organisation that you work for. I hope you can find a way forward that doesn't amount to suppressing and hiding yourself.

Wow! Almost as if this post is some sort of rant at Black people...on a thread that has nothing to do with Black people. What a surprise.

And Black people are no longer discriminated against. How ironic.

~ a half Black woman.

YANBU. Report to HR.

If you read my post, I am also half Black, and I stand by what I said. I wasn't 'ranting about Black people' I was expressing a negative opinion on the sort of SJW who fetishises the opression of 'POC', usually Black people, in order to make themselves look good. Most of the performative people are white, anyway.

Rude and nasty! And yeah @RomaniWoman racist too. YANBU. I am so sorry you were spoken to like this.

Where on earth did she say anything 'anti black' or even aimed AT black people in her post?

Why should you have to lie about your ethnicity just cos racist pieces of shit think you 'pass' as white. Good on you OP.

Very rude, nasty and racist.

I'm very interested in hearing your history and culture- would you consider doing a AMA post?

That is rather sad to have to do that!

C'est mieux que manger les fromages poilu. Peut etre.

OP, that's terrible, I'm sorry. Of course it's racist.

I was in two minds about the word 'woke', as I usually see it used by right-wingers as a slur against progressives, but I have decided to reclaim it. I am WOKE and proud of it.

I agree. It needs to be reclaimed in the sense of going back to its original meaning.

Using “woke” negatively has racist overtones, if not outright racist. "Woke" is a word from African American Vernacular English that denotes being alert to racial prejudice and discrimination. Being woke in this sense is obviously a good thing, and it is also a good thing to avoid using it in the negative context that has been pushed especially by the far right in the US.

Et avoir les aisselles malodorantes ?

Mais bien sur!