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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Regifted baby gift, is this off or am I just tired!

194 replies

Bluerose2 · 06/12/2023 01:09

Ok this is mostly lighted because clearly it’s not important and written by a very tired Mum of a newborn who is probably extremely irrational and over thinking everything! I received a gift from a friend which was obviously regifted as you can’t buy the brand anymore and it is completely the wrong season for baby and sized for a toddler, not a newborn. The family have a very nice life style, so it’s not that they couldn’t afford anything. I’m all for regifting but this is not something I can use and it’s totally obvious it wasn’t bought just now. Now I’ve got to take it to the charity shop and not the one in the small village we live in, in case she sees it there! I have always bought very nice thoughtful gifts for the children in this family as well. Is this a a little bit off or AIBU?

OP posts:
Temporaryanonymity · 06/12/2023 01:14

I often buy bigger sizes for new babies because I figure that newborns quickly grow. So if I see something lovely in a toddler size I might just get that instead.

JustCuriousASHP · 06/12/2023 01:15

Well, it may be a little bit off, but you do know your tiny baby will be a toddler surprisingly soon, and live through different seasons to get there?

Chiar · 06/12/2023 01:16

I would class this as overthinking. My family buy much bigger clothes for babies because they grow out of 0-3 so quickly. If it's new as in still got tags on etc then I would think fair enough. Not that I would buy toddler clothes for a newborn myself.

You could have used it, just not yet.

PaminaMozart · 06/12/2023 01:19

OMG I always by size 12-24 months clothes as presents for newborns because I figure the parents will have been inundated with tiny size baby stuff...

Banana1979 · 06/12/2023 01:21

Some people are not great at giving gifts, no matter how many gifts you get them. They don’t have the same style and idea in giftinh the way you do. They gave you a gift. Just be grateful. When it is time for you to get them a gift, just buy something basic

Original poster
Bluerose2 · 06/12/2023 01:22

PaminaMozart · 06/12/2023 01:19

OMG I always by size 12-24 months clothes as presents for newborns because I figure the parents will have been inundated with tiny size baby stuff...

Yeah I think the size is fine, and definitely nice to buy bigger clothes but I won’t use this particular item as it’s for summer and my baby won’t be that size in summer.

OP posts:
SilverOnToast · 06/12/2023 01:22

I was a bit perplexed at an off-season toddler outfit gift when I had a newborn. But my baby honestly grew so quickly and time passed like that, so I was buying toddler clothes within 6 months and very grateful that some people had thought ahead on my behalf.

Nothing worse than hundreds of newborn clothes that don’t fit!

StayingUpSleepingIn · 06/12/2023 01:27

Yeah I think the size is fine, and definitely nice to buy bigger clothes but I won’t use this particular item as it’s for summer and my baby won’t be that size in summer.

Your child may be bigger or smaller than average so it may fit at the right time.

StayingUpSleepingIn · 06/12/2023 01:30

OMG I always by size 12-24 months clothes as presents for newborns because I figure the parents will have been inundated with tiny size baby stuff...

So many people do this that most parents I know actually ended up inundated with clothes in bigger sizes. 😅

shivawn · 06/12/2023 01:32

Summer is a long way away, who knows what size your baby will be? I'd hang on to it for now. I have an 8 day old newborn too and I've mostly gotten gifts in bigger sizes, it's pretty common because people know you'll have stocked up on small stuff already and they grow up so fast.

Regifted gift wouldn't bother me at all.

Canisaysomething · 06/12/2023 01:36

It might seem regifted but your friend could well have bought this when you were pregnant ready for your child to grow into. Don’t send away bigger clothes, you might need them sooner than you think!

artimesiasfootsteps · 06/12/2023 02:14

@StayingUpSleepingIn I wish this had had happened to me, I was mainly gifted 0-3 months. So many outfits that she couldn't have worn them all if she had a year, then after 3 months nothing. Popped them all new with tags on vinted though to buy bigger sizes.

Robinni · 06/12/2023 02:14

Some people don’t like to give clothes that are just for the baby right now - everyone does that.

You end up with loads in 0-3 and 3-6 and then a barren wasteland of support from 6m+ bar a brief flurry of activity around the 1st birthday….. and then subsequent birthdays (if you are prepared to spend several hundred on a party and are happy to receive a mountain of plastic tatt, few clothes).

Personally, I would be grateful to have something for your child when they are older.

And don’t make judgements about other families financials whenever all you have is the experience of the expense of a newborn (which is utterly minuscule and you get so much handed to you at this point).

Childcare below school age - 5k per year for 2 days, going up to about 13k for 5 days. (If you are in England you’ll get the 30hrs to lower this but it’s still a few thousand)

Childcare for reception+ - about £120 a week if you want after school cover and holiday cover, equating to £6,240 per child.

That is before clothes, shoes, school uniform, haircuts, toiletries, birthday, Christmas, holidays, increased housing/car/utility costs, endless extracurricular costs, tutors, some have school fees, on average about 2 birthday parties to go to a month which is an extra £500 a year…..

It’s loads, so don’t be so judgey if they have multiple children.

You were able to afford nice new gifts because you didn’t have any dependents at that point. Maybe things are a bit of a stretch for them. If they have three kids you’re talking several thousand a year each..

Robinni · 06/12/2023 02:22

Ps “my baby won’t be that size in summer”

Tell us what size was gifted and what age your child will be in summer.

Babies really don’t go by text book - mine wore a size up almost immediately and by just below 18m were wearing 2-3.

Maybe there is some logic or she’s just thoughtless/exhausted herself.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 06/12/2023 02:27

I was given loads of clothes when DD was born. I barely got to choose anything for her myself!

I learned very quickly that sizing is surprisingly arbitrary. DD was simultaneously wearing 6-9 months, 6-12 months, and 12-18 months clothing.

It might not be a regift. And even if it is, there is a surprisingly good chance it will fit your baby at sone point in the right season.

PeloMom · 06/12/2023 02:28

You don’t know how your baby will grow. Mine was shooting through the sizes and differently didn’t grow the way I thought in the beginning…

Fivepigeons · 06/12/2023 02:30

If you are going to get someone baby clothing you do need to think about what size they will be in that season.
You aren't unreasonable to find it faintly thoughtless. But I think YABU to actually get offended or dwell on this.

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/12/2023 02:36

If she's happy to regift, why would she care if she spots it in a charity shop. If you want rid, take it to the nearest charity shop and forget about it.

Wrongsideofpennines · 06/12/2023 02:37

You have no idea what size your baby will be by next summer or winter. Child 1 was in 6-9 months at a year old. Child 2 went into that size at 5 months. We ended up with all seasons of 12-18 months because they stayed the same size for ages.

We got a gift of one of those outfits with the year of birth on. Clearly register but obviously they hadn't spotted the year embroidered on it and my child was born the year later. We kept it for emergency use and then sold it to people who wanted a keepsake. Not the end of the world. I'm grateful Someone cared enough to gift something.

user1492757084 · 06/12/2023 02:40

Don't be offended.
It was not thoughtless or mean.
The child will grow into it. Wait until he/she grows to fit it. Sometimes the sizing isn't quite true and the season will be fine. Your kid might suit the item.
You can always regift later or give to an Op shop.

I never buy a new baby very small clothes as their parents have often a closet ready, full of small stuff and lots of hand-me-downs from friends and family.

Moonshine5 · 06/12/2023 02:43

Some people are cheap OP, think on that next time you are buying gifts for their children.

Gowlett · 06/12/2023 02:47

Just hold onto it. Might be useful.
They have a nice lifestyle because they don’t spend on unnecessary extras (like nice gift friends, unfortunately).

OhIlovetosew · 06/12/2023 02:49

I buy all sorts of lovely things when I see them, some things in my gifting stash have been there for a long time, you’ve got me worrying now that things I definitely purchased to gift (although didn’t have a person in mind at the time) are going to be thought of as re gifted.

Barleysugar86 · 06/12/2023 02:49

I had lots of friends and family members having babies that I used to pick up things I liked in the sales and put away in my present drawer - including some mothercare things which people would probably think the same as you now. So in my case they wouldn't be a regift, but maybe bought without a specific baby in mind.

My son ended up tall for his age group and my daughter small for hers. I'd hang onto it and see how it looks visually when the right season comes around.

Guavafish1 · 06/12/2023 02:51

I was grateful for the larger sizes