Regifted baby gift, is this off or am I just tired!

[Bluerose2]

Ok this is mostly lighted because clearly it’s not important and written by a very tired Mum of a newborn who is probably extremely irrational and over thinking everything! I received a gift from a friend which was obviously regifted as you can’t buy the brand anymore and it is completely the wrong season for baby and sized for a toddler, not a newborn. The family have a very nice life style, so it’s not that they couldn’t afford anything. I’m all for regifting but this is not something I can use and it’s totally obvious it wasn’t bought just now. Now I’ve got to take it to the charity shop and not the one in the small village we live in, in case she sees it there! I have always bought very nice thoughtful gifts for the children in this family as well. Is this a a little bit off or AIBU?

OP I get you and I'd be miffed too. I know we should all be grateful for gifts, but the "that'll do" element from a good friend of getting rid of some clothing their own kid never wore rather than choosing something specifically for your baby feels a bit sad.

Slightly off-topic but re gifts in bigger sizes, I've had 3DC and personally I don't recommend gifting in big sizes.... because by the time the right age rolls around (6-9m, 9-12m, or toddler) you have just kind of put them away and forgotten about them and usually miss the window of them fitting.

I think 1-3 months is ideal, 3-6 months is the biggest age I'd go, and for "nice" (ie gift) versions of practical everyday items only, like baby grows. Choosing proper outfits is a bit risky, parents often have very different views on colours/styles/fabrics etc and it's dismaying to realise you'd never put your baby in an outfit because it's too stiff/too uncomfortable/a colour you really don't like.

You can't be sure. Anyway just put it away out of sight in a drawer and if you are that unhappy about the whole thing don't bother buying presents for this person again.

perhaps she is struggling financially

When I had lots of friends of baby-making age, I used to pick up cute baby/toddler outfits in sales or TK Maxx clearance all the time and keep them for gifts. I liked to give more unique stuff rather than the generic pack of 3 babygros from Next that they might get doubles of.

I’d never buy 0-3 for a new baby cuz they’re in it for about 5 seconds. Normally I get them bigger sized bits because it’s likely that they don’t have anything in this size yet.

Also my favourite thing on mum’s next is people making assumptions about other’s financial situation!! You don’t know what her situation is!

You’re completely overthinking this.

Just because you do something because you think it’s the right thing to do, it doesn’t mean you should put your expectations onto other people and feel disappointed when they don’t meet the standards that you expect of them.

We got lots of 3-6 month ones, and very little 'newborn'.
I buy M&S vouchers. Don't mind if they're spent on nappies, food or whatever, it will be better than inflicting my taste in baby clothes.

Never make assumptions about either your baby's size in a few months' time, or the British summer. Remember this year it was awful in July and hot in September/October.

I always buy bigger sizes too and but do try to think of the seasons.

I received a wooly hat/ jumper set for DS that would fit him mid summer, from someone who has children!

Maybe they got it very wrong. You also don't know yet the rate your child will grow, they might fit that at the appropriate time

I would just take it to the charity shop on the village. If she asks just say you know it was regifted so you didn’t see any harm as it’s not something you will use but the charity benefits

I would just wait until you are approaching the summer as you never know how your baby will grow. My oldest was in 6-9 months at 3 months old as she was so long, stuff that I had bought in that size was for winter and was totally the wrong season. If baby does grow like the text book sizes then there is nothing stopping you then taking it to the charity shop next year.

Are people really this rude?

So just keep it until your baby is a toddler.

In all honesty, expecting any gift is a bit crass.

I agree.
Also if I see something really lovely I may buy it as I can then use it at some time in the future as a gift.
Perhaps your friend did that and then the shop shut down.

I have a lovely little summer romper suit for a baby girl which I bought three years ago when I was pregnant with my son and didn't yet know what I was having because it was the last one left. I then found out I was having a boy. I kept it in the hopes of having a girl next time round. I now have a girl but it was too big for her a few months ago so I am keeping it for next summer but it might be too small for her by then, we will just have to see. It still has the tags on it and if she doesn't wear it next summer I will have to find someone to give it to. But it was bought with a lot of love and frankly if my daughter doesn't get to wear it I will be a little bit jealous of whoever I end up giving it to. I hope they don't react like the OP has.

maybe, but are people really that cheap, regifting unwanted, useless old stuff. Toss her OP, you obviously aren’t worth much thought or effort to her, too mean.

You don't know, clothes sizes aren't exact to all kids. And the weather is so random nowadays. And sorry but be grateful for any gift

How do you know it's useless? Maybe the giver is giving a minutes consideration to the planet.

This is such an extreme thing to say.

Many people on this thread have given alternative explanations for why the OP might have been given something that isn't current stock.

It hasn't necessarily been regifted, and even if it has, that doesn't mean it was unwanted, and it isn't useless unless and until the OP's baby is too big for it and hasn't had an opportunity to wear it. Which is not the case just yet.

How rude some people are.

I won’t use this particular item as it’s for summer and my baby won’t be that size in summer.

Clothes sizing varies so much, as does a baby's growth, you cannot possibly know that it won't fit next summer or the following. We also get warmer days in spring and autumn, plus often useful to have cooler outfits for indoor events.

But your mind seems made up, There's a charity near us always asking for clothing for families of refugees, maybe there is something like that near you you can pass it on to, where it will be gratefully received.

@Bluerose2 I get this on a certain level. I was given a snowsuit sized 6 months for a baby born in winter. Wouldn't have fit her the next year and people saying it can be cold in Britain in summer - yessss but not that cold. Unfortunately, it didn't ever get worn and it wasn't cheap. I felt it would be rude to raise it as the wrong size (and also, frankly had more on my mind with a newborn...)

Yanbu to not like the gift.
Yabu to expect her to have got you a brand new smaller one that's entitled.
If you don't have space to hang onto it to see if it fits you can sell on Vinted or fb marketplace and buy something you do like, give away on a local WhatsApp group or bin it.
This is not a problem.

I also got this From the white company and I just took it back to the shop and exchanged it - it was from a child free friend who probably didnt think that logically

Why can't you use it? Your baby will grow into a toddler.