To think children should have their mothers surname

[Laurendelaney1987]

if the parents are not married. You did the hard work! Why the fuck should the child carry his name?

Children traditionally have their mother’s surname.

In the past, if unmarried, the children had their mother’s name.

And if she was married, she would have taken his name, and her children would also have her new surname.

Giving children their father’s surname is quite a recent thing.

I wish I’d given my surname to my children! (Too late now, they’re adults.) I’m married, but kept my own name.

I voted you are being unreasonable because I think children should have their mothers name regardless if parents are married or not. and also don't get this name change stuff.

I agree OP.

I agree as well

I regret this now even though his name sounds better with his Dads surname.

YABU
It's nobody else's business which surname a family chooses for their child
A man going on holiday with a child of a different surname would probably be under more suspicion than a woman.

As said above, DC have traditionally had their mother's name - which matched that of the father if they were married.

It's very recent for DC to have the father's name, irrespective of whether it matches the mother's. Only really became common in the mid/late 80s, and I think it was a change for the worse.

I agree. Women have been sucked in with "we're getting married at some point' ' his sounds better' 'it's traditional'.

It's all cobblers.

Although DD has DH's surname (we're married but I don't use his) because I got the first AND middle name.

I've been with dp over 30 years. Our children have my surname. This was not up for debate.
He is more than welcome to change his name if he wants the same name

I agree, and so did my daughter who changed her named at 18. I regret trying to be so conventional when my x never wanted to marry me, until i left! Thankfully I'd wised up by then. I felt like having a cigar when my adult daughter's passport arrived with her new name.

But the remedy, carrying a copy of the DC's birth certificate and a letter from the other parent (which isn't strictly necessary in all cases, but can be useful) is exactly the same for a man as for a woman

Completely up to the parents. Two grown adults should be able to reach an agreement about it, so whatever works for them.

Both my paternal grandparents were born to unmarried mothers, and both took their mother’s surname. That was before the First World War.

Where I live almost all children have both their mother's and father's surname.

I agree OP, and hugely regret not giving them my name, even though I've been with their father 32 years (child is 13). My sisters are married, so my surname dies with me.

I agree.
I also don't think we should, default, have our name changed at marriage.

I had my first son before marriage and he took his dads surname. We got married and I was so excited to have his surname. He left our marriage and now both our sons have his surname and I have my original one. The situation annoys me.

Moral of the story is that I won't change my surname again!!!

I agree but we were engaged when our first was born and knowing we all have the surname eventually, I just gave him daddy's name which we now all have x

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I didn’t change my surname and dc have mine. I am so glad I did this.

They should do I think as they do in Spain, women when they marry keep thei name and join it with their partner's name si they have a. New family name which the children then have

Sorry, mistyped. I'm currently in the process of changing my name and my dc's names back to my maiden name. The surname just grates on me now.

I get confused when I see my unmarried friends kids surnames as they are different to my friends surnames. And in most cases the unmarried couple split after the child was born and the couple never got married (and don’t get me started on the carrot dangling that so many men use..)

Mine do.

I agree but I don't think women should change their name at all. It's so old fashioned and quite frankly a bit odd.

If you’re in a relationship surely this is just something you talk out? I don’t agree that either has the right more than the other, yes the mother did the harder work at the start but the baby is both of you and if you love each other you talk it out (if you don’t love each other then yes, the mum’s😂)

I agree with you OP - whether married or not!