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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think children should have their mothers surname

385 replies

Laurendelaney1987 · 05/12/2023 21:50

if the parents are not married. You did the hard work! Why the fuck should the child carry his name?

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 14/12/2023 04:12

"A man going on holiday with a child of a different surname would probably be under more suspicion than a woman.

Yes. Exactly."

A problem easily solved by slipping the birth certificate into the passport wallet......

CurlewKate · 14/12/2023 04:14

@VoiceOfCommonSense "Yeah I would say it’s fair to have the mothers name but if you are going to have kids together the least you can do is get married to show your commitment to each other and the baby.."

Show who?

VoiceOfCommonSense · 14/12/2023 04:19

Each other. If people are uneasy about getting married to someone they probably shouldn’t be having a child with them..

Littleelffriend · 14/12/2023 05:29

My kids have my surname and I’m happily in a relationship with their dad/ live together etc. No plans to marry but if we did I wouldn’t change mine or the kids names

SnapdragonToadflax · 14/12/2023 07:04

Littleelffriend · 14/12/2023 05:29

My kids have my surname and I’m happily in a relationship with their dad/ live together etc. No plans to marry but if we did I wouldn’t change mine or the kids names

Same! We've been together nearly 20 years so no problem with commitment thanks.

One of my friends is on his third marriage, in the time I've been with my partner...

Maddy70 · 14/12/2023 07:22

aurynne · 14/12/2023 04:02

That's incorrect, no one changes their name in Spain or "join it" with anybody's. The woman's name remains the same regardless of marriage in Spain and Spanish-speaking countries. Everybody, men and women, has two family names: one from their mum and one from their dad. The children inherit the first family name from each parent, and the parents decide in which order they go. Changing anyone's name by marriage is an unknown concept in Spanish culture, and I still haven't figured out why so many anglosaxon countries, some of which have much more progressive and less sexist culture than Spain and Latin America, still have the tradition of women giving up their names for their husband's and their children not having theirs either.

Show quote history

Yes they have both that's what j meant

CurlewKate · 14/12/2023 07:23

@VoiceOfCommonSense "Each other. If people are uneasy about getting married to someone they probably shouldn’t be having a child with them.."

If people are uneasy about being in a relationship with someone they definitely shouldn't be having a child with them. Marriage is irrelevant, so long as you put proper protections in place.

Cornflakes44 · 14/12/2023 07:29

I also agreed. The majority of men leave it to women to raise their kids but want to put their stamp of ownership on them. However, I did double barrel mine as I was working under the impression my husband would do 50/50, and he generally does. I thought them having my name would signal that they're my responsibility. Me and him also doubled barrelled so we're all the same. I thought that worked quite well and is helpful for things like airports if either of us were travelling alone with them.

Littleelffriend · 14/12/2023 08:04

@SnapdragonToadflax 10 years for us we are fully committed

DialEmforMurder · 14/12/2023 23:10

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