To ask how anyone manages school drop offs and going to work?

[BobbidyBibbidyBob]

Maybe I live in a bubble but bear with me.. I am expecting my first child. I currently leave the house at 07.30 and return home circa 19.30 5 days a week (commute to london circa 1.45hrs).

Now, I am aware this isn't necessarily sustainable, but the nursery we will likely use offer 07.30-18.30, so not too difficult to work with. But we live next to a primary school, drop off seems to be circa 08.40. Am I an idiot for wondering how people (seemingly mostly mothers) manage this and get to a job for 9am? Do they just.. not? I find it hard to believe they all have cushty wfh jobs with flexibility but maybe i am wrong? Work part-time? Use childminders or family to do drop offs?

Please someone tell me how you managed this. i haven't even had the baby and am worried about it!

Frankly you’re right to worry, there’s so much talk about 0-5 childcare but it’s so much harder at school age. Personally the only couples I know with young school age kids who both work full time have a nanny or very very hands on grandparents.

We do: one full time, one part time, some help from family.

I used breakfast club/after school club and worked locally. Managed years as a single parent.

Covid (while unbearably shit trying to work at home with a one year old) did us a favour in that we can both now wfh the vast majority of the time. Can you request flexible working and get more wfh? I was originally going to be doing two days in the office, two days at home, with MIL doing drop-off on my days in the office and me leaving early (4pm).

Now on days we do need to be in London (which is a 1.5 hour commute) - breakfast club or childminder if a regular or pre-arrangeable day, or one parent starts late and the other does pick-up. We absolutely could not have sustained having both of us commuting every day with a young child, it's just not possible. What if the trains are delayed? Do you have any contingency plans?

You'll need to apply to a school with good wraparound care - and do question them about spaces, because ours claims to have afterschool club but they only have 10 spaces for 60 children in Reception, so it's no use at all.

Wraparound care when they were younger!

I had no choice but to give up work as have no family close by.

Please don't think having your child in nursery 11 hours a day is a good idea. It'll work whilst they are little but come school says they'll be shattered by sich long days and unable to do any clubs or activities.

Didn't you think of this before ttc?

Although probably my 3/4 most recent jobs (I’m a bit of a job hopper!) I’ve made sure I didn’t need to start till 9.30.

OP you're absolutely right to be thinking about how this might work for you and what you can put in place in practical terms.

When people talk about childcare as part of policy/societal discourse it's usually just about pre-school years, probably because politicians and policymakers earn enough that they use private schools with wraparound care built in.

For the rest of us childcare costs run for 11 years for each child and the hodge podge arrangements we have to make to access it restricts our economic activity and earning power.

I can start late on a Wednesday and Monday.

Indont work Fridays.

So Mon to Thurs husband takes them. I can take other days but causes problems. Monday and weds is OK. But better for Husband tp drop.

And if any other issues. Always got breakfast club as a back up. Or family in a real emergency.

My commute is about 20 minutes bad traffic.

Can do it in 5 good traffic

The vast majority of the parents I work with work from home a few days a week and take time out to do the school runs. If they're not at home, their partners will do it or their family will help out.

Otherwise, wraparound care at school, a childminder that would do drop off and pick up.

I can't see how a 1.5 hour commute will be sustainable with a child. I wouldn't consider a commute that long and I'm childfree. Assuming you do that commute because you get a decent wage, I'd consider a nanny.

Another thing to bear in mind is that having that long commute to get home when nursery call to say your baby has a fever/runny poo/doesn't seem quite right is going to be a massive pain. They might even have a time limit and fine for late collections.

Most people would stagger mornings and after school with partners, use family, work from home, go part time don't commute 3h per day. If you're the primary caregiver it's not realistic to have that commute on top of a full working week.

I was lucky as I worked very close to home. I worked 4 days a week with a later start time, reduced lunch break and used after school club 3 days a week.

I had a childminder who did school drop offs and pick ups.

We had a childminder for before and after school.

Sounds like the hours I used to do before wfh came in for our team. Breakfast club and after school club. £25 a day per child. If you can get hybrid working so 2-3 days a week from home then just after school club. Even better if you have a partner who is also working hybrid, so you can just use after school club (£15 a day here). It’s not just the cost, it’s long days for the children, and I don’t know about other schools, but at ours whilst the club is great, the food they give them is absolute rubbish.

Got a part time nanny for a slightly complicated drop off / pick up scenario for 4 years until my eldest went to secondary. Now we use wrap around at school for my youngest (a lot cheaper)

Crucially, I work relatively locally for a company with flexible working hours and a great boss. I go into London about once a month.

Childcare from 7.30am then commute. Child in nursery til six. One parent did drop offs and the other one did pick up so both could complete contracted hours. The one that did pick ups used to goblin early and leave early.

Once in school similar arrangement which was breakfast club before school and childminder after as they didn’t like after school club and the childminder cooked excellent meals for them so I didn’t have to / they didn’t eat late.

Your commute is excessively long. Virtually nobody has such a lengthy commute, certainly most parents don’t. In the rest of the country a 20-30 minute commute is standard and 45 minutes is considered lengthy. It’s not sustainable to commute 3.5hrs a day when you have kids. Most of us are dropping the kids at breakfast club at 8, getting to work for 9, then home for 6 (or earlier if we work reduced hours).

My DH starts and finishes work much earlier than I. I only leave for work at 9am. But he comes home at 4pm. So plan is that I do the drop offs and he does the pick up.

She didn’t ask your opinion on this.

Husband does drop off as works from home, I do pick up as I work part time and finish at 2.30. no long commutes

Our DC start P1 next year. There are no childminders in our area, we both work FT, and we have no local family. My employer is open to condensing hours, but not to part time or shift work.

Our state school offers after school club only; they exclusively offer 5 day per week to children in care/social housing.

Our options as we see them:

• Private school, which has robust wraparound. However, I'm doubtful we will get through the coming recession unscathed. I don't want to put my children into a 'nice' school only to withdraw them.
• State school. My DH will drop off at 8:45 (and push back his start time to 9:15), and I'll pick DC up after work on club days. If we are both employed, I will condense my hours to manage early pick-ups on days with no club spaces. We are most likely to go with this, despite the uncertainty of it, because economic instability feels serious and imminent.

I looked into hiring a nanny for pick-ups, but many parents have said it is very difficult to find someone for such limited hours and there is a big risk of the individual quitting with no back up care.

Looking at your situation, I don't think you can keep up with your current role and current commute during primary years, unless you are able to afford a lot of help. Also, you are not going to want to be away from your child from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. most likely!

It's really stressful. I wish au pairs or a reliable childminder were possible.

I work part time a 5 minute drive away. So I work from 9-2:30. Our school has no wraparound care, childminders are basically impossible to find and having waiting lists so even if I wanted someone else to take care of it for me, the option isn’t there. Everyone else on the school run either works part time or from home or has grandparent help. Can you get a job closer to home or work remotely? Can you reduce hours?

I changed job and now work 9-2 so that I can do all the school runs and then we have family to help or we take leave in the school holidays.

I work part time hours eg 9:30 to 2:30 most days but am currently a bank staff at a nursery 0 hour contract, they are happy for me to work while my son is at school only and allow the school closing times too. It works for me for now but the income is not steady as hours vary and some days my shifts get cancelled.