To ask how anyone manages school drop offs and going to work?

[BobbidyBibbidyBob]

Maybe I live in a bubble but bear with me.. I am expecting my first child. I currently leave the house at 07.30 and return home circa 19.30 5 days a week (commute to london circa 1.45hrs).

Now, I am aware this isn't necessarily sustainable, but the nursery we will likely use offer 07.30-18.30, so not too difficult to work with. But we live next to a primary school, drop off seems to be circa 08.40. Am I an idiot for wondering how people (seemingly mostly mothers) manage this and get to a job for 9am? Do they just.. not? I find it hard to believe they all have cushty wfh jobs with flexibility but maybe i am wrong? Work part-time? Use childminders or family to do drop offs?

Please someone tell me how you managed this. i haven't even had the baby and am worried about it!

Short commute and after school care. Also working from home 2 days a week and DH doing half the drop offs, pick-ups.

TBH the commute is your problem. Why do you need to commute so far? I'd seriously be looking at moving closer to work or getting a job nearer home. Or trying to negotiate WFH.

Also, being that far away, what plan do you have in place for an emergency? Even if it's just DC vommed at school and needs to be collected ASAP?

i manage it with wraparound care, stress and apparent child torture (according to my kids who would like to leave for school at 8:45 like they do on my days off!)

I do all school runs by WFH, part time, term time only. It means my pay is rubbish though, so that's the trade off!
Before COVID we used breakfast / after school club 3 days per week.

Sacrifice career for short commute/ stagger start and finish with partner/breakfastclub/childminder/ grandparents

A mixture of:

• Breakfast club starting at 7:30am on office-based days
• WFH days, can drop off at 8:50am and still be home to start at 9am
• Afterschool club until 5:30pm most days
• Grandparents pick up from school one afternoon per week and sort kids' dinner.

It's still quite a juggle though tbh. I used to find the nursery day fine to fit in, even when I was in the office x5 per week as the hours were longer. School is more tricky (made trickier now that I have 1 child at primary and another at nursery so trying to drop both off at 7:30am in completely different places is impossible!)

Yes this is common arrangement

A childminder and DH drop offs while I pick up, although I do also work part time and have the flexibility to shuffle stuff around for inset days/illness etc. Your commute sounds very long even by London standards, even if you only have to do one of drop off and pick up that's a very long day for DC.

Combination of WFH but only 10 minutes drive to the office when I’m in. DH is only in the office 2 days a month, and he either cycles or busses it, it takes 20 minutes either way. Occasionally they go to breakfast club like today, but only when they beg for it, because they think they’re missing out.

DH does drop off and I do pick up. I start early (6am) and he works late (6pm).

I finish at 2:30pm most days, and they go to after school club one day a week for my late finish (4pm), but club only runs until 4pm, luckily we’re on the next street to school, so I just about manage it.

Nanny, childminder, other wrap around care.

Or request a more flexible working pattern and have your partner do the same so you can fudge it between you.

If you can wfh then school aged children can entertain themselves after pick up until 5/5.30.

Long commutes had to go. Staggered start times so one works 8-5 and picks up from after school club, and the other drops at breakfast club and works 9.30-6.30 kind of thing.

Also a realisation that you can stop doing loads of extra hours at work and actually the world doesn't end. And faith that if everyone else can muddle through somehow then you will too. It's not being handed a cushy number on a plate, it's more redrawing the boundaries through necessity. Work usually will be familiar with the idea that childcare hours ARE set in stone and someone really really has to pick the child up by 6pm. And this means dads as well as mums.

With your current set up I think you'd need a nanny though.

I work school hours in the week and most of the time some point at the weekend to make up for it.

Some schools do breakfast/after school club. Some kids also go to a childminder.

It's good you're thinking about it now; it really would be a nightmare to sort out last minute. A few options you may wish to consider:

1. Breakfast club (although not all schools will offer this and the timings will all be different. My DS's school breakfast club opens at 8am, which would still not be enought time for me to get from his school to the station and to a job by 9am)
2. Pay a local childminder to do drop off and collection
3. Request flexible working so that you can start later / WFH
4. Get a different job - drastic and extreme, but this is what several people i know have been forced to do.

I find it hard to believe they all have cushty wfh jobs with flexibility

This sounds pretty dismissive of WFH. Many people who WFH are hard working professionals, not sitting around drinking tea all day

Yep, basically these three and help from family members will cover a lot of households. Plus there'll be some with a parent who doesn't have a job (SAHPs, unpaid carers etc).

I wouldn't rely on this, neither of mien could at 4. My 8 year old still can't, although she does have SEN. My now 11 year old probably could from 7 apart from not being able to reach the snacks then (he's fine now).

I also realised that long hours just aren't necessary. I'm senior enough I can get away with working smarter not longer, but not so senior I have to be ever available.

It's hard. School is really not set up as childcare for working parents.

We use a nanny for school runs and after school care. Others I know use breakfast and after school club or grandparents.

Bear in mind that even with school clubs there is not enough time for a standard workday plus commute. I know some couples stagger their work days to cover this, I.e. one goes in early and leaves early to pick up; the other does drop off and goes in a bit late and works later. As someone else said, it helps if you have built up some goodwill with your employer when you want this flexibility.

@Jules912 my 3 year old could now. I'm hoping it doesn't change!

Breakfast club - starts at 7.45 which isn’t ideal for me but my husband can do drop off and I can just about get to work if he can’t do it. Previously we used a childminder which we could do 7am - in fact she probably would have taken them at pretty much any time if needed and we could pay. We also had a nanny for a short time when we had 3 below school age - she used to arrive at 7.30 I think but would have done any time for a price. Nanny was £14k a year (3 days a week) but definitely reasonable compared to 3x nursery costs.

Afterschool club goes on until 5.15 here and older ones are now at senior school and get the (pricey) bus and then let themselves in with a key in the key safe.

I worked part-time, used breakfast club and also had my OH take to breakfast club so I could get to the office earlier and finish earlier.

I also had a couple of people I could rely on locally in an emergency who could take my DC into school with their DC and on my days off I was able to return any favours.

Ours does breakfast club and a mix of afterschool clubs/childminder

We’re having our first baby atm and planning to get around this by using either the school breakfast and after school club or the nursery’s before and after school club.

I’m also considering working 28 hours across 5 days for when baby is at school so I have time to do drop off and pick up a few days a week then use childcare the rest of the time.

I think the main issue with your job is the long commute. My commute is an hour which I thought was long but yours is very long.

There will be a whole range of different approaches with most people using a mix of things. I don’t think I have ever met many couples though where both are working 12 hour days when the kids start school-that would be really hard. I teach, so although I don’t need holiday childcare, I get to school for 7/7.30 so was lucky in that my mum had them or DH could start late. My mum collected as well and I only worked part time so it was easier to cover. If the kids were ill, DH’s job was more flexible than mine.

School is not set up for working parents but it works very well for some working parents, lots of parents are able to do drop offs before work

I have 2 DC, the eldest will start school in September and I plan to leave my job before then. Our nearest school doesn't have wrap around care, or second choice does but it's half and hour away(and not in the direction of my current work or the nursery my youngest attend) making school runs 2 hours per day on foot, probably longer at childs pace. And then there are 13 weeks of school holidays too!

We are cutting our losses, DH is the higher earner and can cover my wage in a couple of extra shifts. I'm just not sure if I'll cope!