To ask how anyone manages school drop offs and going to work?

[BobbidyBibbidyBob]

Maybe I live in a bubble but bear with me.. I am expecting my first child. I currently leave the house at 07.30 and return home circa 19.30 5 days a week (commute to london circa 1.45hrs).

Now, I am aware this isn't necessarily sustainable, but the nursery we will likely use offer 07.30-18.30, so not too difficult to work with. But we live next to a primary school, drop off seems to be circa 08.40. Am I an idiot for wondering how people (seemingly mostly mothers) manage this and get to a job for 9am? Do they just.. not? I find it hard to believe they all have cushty wfh jobs with flexibility but maybe i am wrong? Work part-time? Use childminders or family to do drop offs?

Please someone tell me how you managed this. i haven't even had the baby and am worried about it!

I think it's common to expect a baby and ask yourself 'how can I keep life exactly the same but with a baby?'

The answer is you can't, you won't, but mostly you can muddle through. Your priorities will change, your perspective will change. I don't necessarily mean you'll downgrade your career, but you won't feel 100% the same about it. When I came back off mat leave I found I was much more efficient and gave less of a shit what others thought.

You're basically strapped into a rollercoaster and you can't control everything (or much) but you do get through one way or another!

It's bloody stressful that's what it is. The working world works against parents, it's a joke. But yes.. childminders or family doing soem drop off's, hopefully some flexibility with start times or wfh which you are well within your rights to request. Some schools also offer breakfast and after school clubs.

The first winter in daycare is fucking abominable. DD1 had a month where she was out more than she was in. DD2 ended up in A&E (the nursery - quite rightly - called an ambulance because her breathing was worryingly laboured).

On the bright side: it's an investment. DD1 is in reception and is pretty bombproof - she's had a couple of colds, but nothing that's been noteworthy beyond a couple of early nights and a slightly snotty nose. It's shit, but keep plugging on! You'll be glad you did in a few years!

Completely agree with this. We had an awful first year of nursery. Constant illness. But once at school they are both rarely ill.
Eldest DS went through his entire primary school without a day off ill so I guess it was worth it.

Find a nursery that does half day sessions. Send the youngest to nursery, pick them up at lunchtime and put them down for a nap until school pick up. You can work school hours and only pay for the morning at nursery. That's what I do. It occasionally backfires if he decides not to nap or randomly wake up after 45 minutes, but on those days I just make up the time in the evening.

Not clearly at all..you've no idea about my financial situation nor my partner's. It doesn't automatically mean I can afford a nanny, unfortunately.

Thank you for a very reasonable, realistic and balanced response, it's appreciated.

My husband travels 4 days a week, I used to commute 2 hours each way. I work 12-15 hours per day. I chose a school with wrap around care open 7.30-6.30 51 weeks per year (they do exist in London) and a nanny to pick up at 6pm , prepare dinner so I could arrive home, sit at the table, do reading, she would help with bath routine and while I was putting the kids to bed re-order kitchen and bathroom. Then I used to work 2-3 hours after their bed time. Loads of families I know have au pairs. Now after Covid, I wfh 3 days a week so I have a nanny for 2 days only. Kids are also a bit older, both in primary school. It is way less tiring. Long commute with a high performing job with small kids is very very exhausting. I would suggest you find a job that allows you to wfh.

Childminder.

Do childminders really stay open until 7.30?

Ah OP it’s hard. Apologies if it’s already been suggested but as you and DH both earn the same, would there be the option for both of you to compress your hours to 4 days a week? Then your little one could do 3 long days at nursery (and breakfast/after school club) 3 days a week and have 1 day with you and 1 day with DH.

I found it very difficult 20 years ago. Gave up work completely for a couple of years and then got a part-time, term-time only job. Personally I struggled with the holidays more than term-time. Every time they went back to school, I had to start planning for the next holiday.
Don't stress about it. Life changes when you have a family, you make lots of friends and have some big decisions to make but lots of other are making them too!

My children's school didn't have wrap around care but there was an out of school club attached to a local nursery. They were dropped of there at half 7 and taken to school on a minibus then picked up from school on the minibus and taken to after school club till 6. They did full day care in school holidays too

I had to change career.

We tried flexible childminders and had a nanny but my whole wage was going on childcare (3 children) and it was exhausting and stressful.

I now have 2 jobs, one that is very flexible and one where I work from home. I work full time between the 2 but don’t need any childcare (2 oldest are now at high school but the youngest is in primary).

I still work in the field I was trained in, but my career looks completely different to what I had planned/expected.

Mine was very unhappy with breakfast clubs so pre covid I adjusted hours to start half an hour later post covid I work from home a lot more

Childminder, wrap around clubs if the school offers it, or WFH role

I had the exact same length of commute as you , OP, also to London, which I was doing 3 times a week before I had my DS (now 2).

I realised that it just wasn't going to work with nursery pick up and drop offs, so after maternity leave I switched to a role that is almost entirely remote.