Bridezilla best friend

[Poshpaddington]

My best friend of 25 years is getting married in the new year. She’s always been “protective” of me, constantly texting & checking up on me, turning up at my door if I haven’t replied so she knows I’m ok etc. (drives me mad but it’s her).
Throughout this wedding planning she’s got worse and been quite mean towards me. My DP & MIL think she’s being controlling.
She asked my dress size, then disagreed that I was that size saying “you aren’t that small, absolutely not” then ordered my dress 2 sizes too bigger. I tried it on last night and it’s hanging off my shoulders, so I look like I’m a child playing dress up in my mums clothes 😂 she refuses to get it altered and won’t allow me to take it to get it done (she’s kept the dress with her).
Shes told me my hair is too short so expects me to buy extensions for her wedding - I have shoulder length hair.
She got mad at me as I didn’t buy the £200 shoes she’s wants me to wear but instead o found similar & in the exact same colour, just cheaper.
She made me pay £400 for my room at the venue as she wants me to stay the night before & wedding night. The venue is a 3 hour drive away.
she just text me saying that her fiancé will now be sleeping in my paid for room the night before & I need to sleep in her bed with her & her baby (wtf!?) and won’t pay for the sheets to be cleaned & changed as she doesn’t see an issue with it.
my DP of 10 years has only been invited to the evening part as she doesn’t want me distracted throughout the daytime (wtf!).
all the other bridesmaids have their partners attending the whole day, as I found out at the hen weekend.
she’s just told me she has a sash for me to wear at the wedding that says “no alcohol” so that the bar tenders only serve me soft drinks as she doesn’t want me to drink, at all, so I can help her all day.
i have allergies to food, which she knows about, but decided not to include that when booking the wedding food and just told me to “leave it on my plate” but I won’t physically be able to eat anything that has touched the food due to cross-contamination or I’ll be covered in hives 😣 & possible using my Epi pen.
The hen weekend was horrible - they all snubbed me the whole time. Nobody engaged in a conversation with me and every time I sat near any of them they moved away - my best friend told me it’s “because you aren’t a mum or married yet so it’s hard to relate to you” 🤔

would I be unfair to just leave this friendship after the wedding is over?

my MIL & DP don’t want me to even go to the wedding but I can’t let her down. It’s not fair. I really don’t want to go under all these circumstances but we do have a long friendship that I am honouring.

DUMP HER NOW! Not after the wedding.
Ruuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn, she’s an insane woman who is not your friend.

I suspect she's not a true friend but someone who likes to push you around and control you because she likes the power . End this now it's actually abusive what she's doing

Unbelievable

I wouldn't go to the wedding and I'd get the money back for the hotel or change to another date so you can go there with your partner.

She's a CF on a massive scale. I would write to her and tell her you won't be attending and give her a list of everything she's done. I wouldn't want anything to do with her or her nasty, childish friends again.

This is insane. You could try sending her a message but the truth is that won't help and probably will just make her more angry. I'd be inclined to do it anyway, and accept that you won't be going to the wedding or being a bridesmaid. She's incredibly disrespectful of you and clearly sees you as some weird combination of servant and child.

I voted yanbu. But really yabu to stay in the friendship or participate in the wedding. Drop her now. Radio silence.

I totally agree with dropping this "friend" - however, sometimes that can be hard. It might be easier to tell her you don't feel able to be her bridesmaid but if she would like you and your partner at the wedding as guest, you would still like to come. See if she wants you there without all the ties and commitments (and flaming hoops to jump through)...

Why on earth do you let this person treat you this way. Stop being such a bloody push over.

Oh my god why are you even asking. How have you put up with this so long. Return the shoes, cancel the room and cut off the friend. It will be hard but she sounds like a psycho

She is not being protective or being a friend. She is being a bully, the issue with the dress size is a clear example of her trying to make you look bad, the issue with your allergies is enough to show you that she doesn't care about you and is a diabolical hostess. She is only allowing your husband to attend in the evening ? Sash saying no alcohol. The woman is ridiculing you . Apart from time spent together, what positives is she bringing into your life ???

FFS don’t be a door mat to this batshit controlling madwoman. Don’t waste another penny on her. Send her some of these comments and block block block. No person is worth this ridiculous shite.

I voted YABU because you should not be participating nor attending this shitshow.

You're being a fool, she's treating you as her servant, not a friend.

Get rid asap.

What are you thinking? Leave the friendship now. The allergy issue alone is more than enough reason not to go to this wedding. Everything else is adding insult to injury.

All this to play princess for a day...

this is not bridezilla behaviour. this is just being an utter twat. she's singleing you out and bullying you. can you get a refund for your hotel room? I would get a refund, tell her to fuck off back to fucktown and block her number.

and find some better friends.

Walk or run away from this relationship now .She isn't your friend

She is happy to humiliate you , use you and potentially cause your death
Come on read this as someone not involved what would you think

Why have you not stood up to her? You can’t wear a dress that doesn’t fit. You don’t need a sash about alcohol. And she owes you £400 for the room! I would refuse to wear the dress and buy another from coast etc. speak to her and get her to listen do not back down.

If this is actually real, just block her and never speak to her again.

Bugger the wedding.

She's a bitch, abusive and cruel.

You do not need her as a friend. Cut her off. You won't loose anything, she's a bully.

Hmmm. I voted YABU for not telling her to fuck off earlier.

Please Please protect yourself and don't go to the wedding.

You are not an unpaid maid to this person.

And she certainly isn't a friend

Me too!

DO NOT GO TO THIS WEDDING.

What on earth are you thinking? Have you even read your own post??!

SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. Friends do not treat each other like this. I don’t even treat people I hate like this. She is a bully. She enjoys humiliating and upsetting you. That is the only possible explanation for her behaviour. For her wedding day, her plan is that you will look ridiculous in a dress two sizes too big, fake hair, hopefully hives from your food allergy, and a sash that declares to anyone who looks at you that you have zero self-control and an alcohol problem. She has not allowed your partner to be there as she knows he will prevent this.

If you go to this wedding you are fucking INSANE. No one behaves like this OP.

Don’t believe me? Go spend £50 to see a counsellor and tell them what you just told us.