To want DSIL's cat locked in room away from DC

[onesleepyma]

My DSIL has no kids but she does have a cat, who is her absolute world. Because the cat is a rescue he can't be locked in a room due to his previous trauma (I think?) so always needs to be roaming free in the house. The cat also, from the times I've visited, seems quite reluctant to be touched, can hiss if you come too near. Quite an unfriendly cat. Also a very fluffy cat.

For Xmas we are all going to my ILs house, me, my 2 DC, DH, DSIL and the cat. My kids are 11 months and 2.5. DC1 isn't always going to listen to instructions like "don't touch the cat" or "don't come near the cat" and DC2 is newly walking, leans on furniture when walking so there's a HIGH chance that one of the DCs will be hissed at or worse scratched by this cat. The only way to avoid it is to be 24/7 watching, not sit down for a minute for me and DH. DSIL says leaving him at home isnt an option because " the cat to her is what my DC are to me" (her words). locking him in a room, even for just xmas dinner so i can eat, is "cruel". The parents wont address it because DSIL is sad that shes single and this kitten is making her happy so they dont want to disturb that.

we are there for 2 full days, 3 nights. DH wont address it for similar reasons that PIL wont.

YANBU but honestly, your DH needs to step up. It's really too much, people treating cats as child substitutes, and your SIL needs to get a grip. I love my cat but it is in no way like having a DC! Cat gets locked up when necessary or I would threaten not to go.

There is a big chance the cat will remove itself from the room

Yabu! You can't lock a cat in a room it's cruel. It's their home, if you were worried about the cat you should have agreed to stay elsewhere

Annoying.
If the cat can't be locked in a room, can they have free roam apart from the room your kids are in?

No cat is going to want to go near strange toddlers, they won’t get close enough to get scratched!

If it’s an unfriendly cat, then it might just keep out of everyone’s way?

bur yes if that cat is antisocial then she should ideally at least keep it out of the way of christmas lunch, it can still have the run of the rest of the house. Cats sleep most of the time anyway! Hopefully it’ll be put out by the noise and curl up upstairs out of the way

I think you have to just watch your children around the cat. It may decide there are too many people around and bail to a quiet room anyway. I doubt it will always be where you and your DC are.

The chances of you seeing the cat are very remote!

I think it comes down to the fact that it's your IL's house so ultimately it's their decision.

Has the cat been to their house before? If not, it will probably just hide under a bed somewhere as they hate changing locations.

The cat will almost certainly hide from and avoid your kids. Unless your kids are chasing and harassing him, they won’t be hissed at or scratched. Being hissed at won’t do them any harm anyway. YABU, supervise your kids and guide them away from the cat if they’re chasing him and there won’t be a problem.

My cat would go bonkers if you locked it in a room. Its cruel.

teach your kids not to annoy the cat.

I think you’ll find the cat will keep distance from your kids and it’ll be good for them to learn they can’t touch it and be told no

I wouldn’t shut my cats away either

Is this the cat's home?

I reckon the cat will hide away somewhere. Likely pissed off at being dragged out of its own home for several days into a strange house with toddlers tbh. Poor cat tbh.

The cat will likely spend the days hiding under a bed somewhere. Cats do not like to move house. It’s incredibly stressful for them as is lots of people and small children.
However if by some miracle the cat does happen to be in the same space as your children there is no better way for kids to learn not to mess with the cat than by being scratched. They sure as hell won’t do it again.
This comes from a cat owner with 2 children who know not to mess with the cats

My kids were brought up on a farm so loads of different animals.

When I've visited SIL before, the cat just sat there and hissed as I neared a sofa that she was sitting on. It's a 3 seater sofa, I tried to sit on one end (not knowing the hat is so hostile) while the cat was sitting on the opposite end. He didn't move rooms. Just stayed there.

Happened on other occasions too. The cat just hisses a lot when you come into his vicinity.

I very much doubt the cat will come anywhere near any of you. You don’t need to be so overly demanding about it.

There's a very similar thread the other way round about a dog

The cat will probably hide away OP if it's nervous and the house is full of people. It's a bit cruel really putting it in that situation for days. They aren't dogs who can be carted everywhere.

We are staying at my PIL's house because they want to see their grandchildren. Presumably they're more keen on seeing the GC than the cat but DH would under no circumstances agree to threaten that we don't go

Stop being a drama llama , it’s a cat not a tiger .

Your kids won’t die from being hissed at or scratched. The cat will likely hide from you all. But you are being absolutely ridiculous to think someone should lock their pet away. Get a bloody grip woman. Your kids need to learn how to behave around animals.

My DD learnt very quickly what is ok and what isn’t.

If the cat was locked in a room there's a high chance that the carpet round the door in that room would be wrecked by the cat trying to escape. High chair for the children, then lock them in a room whilst they sleep?

You're visiting. Make sure your kids don't go near the cat. That's your responsibility.