AIBU to be angry about photo of me taking without my consent

[Annoyedofnorfolk]

Last week I was walking our dog, it was first thing in the morning and admittedly I wasn't looking my best - just pulled a hoody on!

Unbeknownst to me, somebody who works with my partner took a photo of me whilst he was on a building site and sent it to my partner on social media (and perhaps also sent to others) with a very nasty comment about my appearance and weight. I have never met this man, and he doesn't know anything about me or what is going on in my life right now - I can only presume he recognised our dog. My partner told me about the picture.

I have been so angry about this, my partner is also very angry and has said something - the person who has taken the photo has doubled down said "it was only a joke and basically get over yourself". To be honest I have little time for people who resort to saying "it was a joke" when their nastiness is called out.

I want to email the company he works for - he did this on the company clock, from a company vehicle - he may be my partner's workmate, but I am also a member of the public, and as such I have a right to privacy and should be able to take my dog for a walk without being photographed and made fun of, he has invaded my privacy - it will impact on me, as I will be reluctant to walk that way again. My partner says he won't be bothered if I do, and it will be taken seriously as it is a reputable company, but I'm not sure if that is over reacting. Would be unreasonable to do this, or should I just forget it as the bloke is clearly a childish misogynistic arsehole.

And you know what? if more women were 'seriously scary' there'd be less of this arseholery from men thinking they can get away with their vile behaviour. A good thing too.

I think you should 100%, definitely report him. Like you said, he did this on company time, it's completely unacceptable, he should have to face consequences.

@Unitedthebest I'm suggesting to @Viviennemary that keeping secrets to cover up for bad behaviour is wrong/problematic. It's concerning from a safeguarding perspective that VM thinks this is ok.

That was exactly my reaction.

Screenshot and write down everything including his reaction, send it to his company citing intentional misogyny, verbal abuse, public humiliation, all done on the company time and location, identifiable as being an employee of that company, etc.

Include your solicitor in the message.

Demand to know what the company will be doing about this.

Don't let him get away with it.

🤬

Seriously scary? I'd avoid you IRL seeing as you clearly have a flair for the dramatic.

If someone took a picture of my wonderful husband and sent it to me saying how fat and ugly he was I'd probably report it. Take your shitty bullying elsewhere

Report. It's absolutely foul. Those minimising it are naive to their internalised misogyny.

Yeah, he might experience consequences but you are likely to have this comment drifting in and out of your mind for years to come aren't you?

This kind of objectifying language and behaviour is the thin end of the wedge.

Blimey

I am raging on your behalf OP. What a sad tosser. I suppose he's an absolute god of a man? Doubt it.

Report and kick up an absolute stink.

Odd he sent it to your partner like he would laugh?

This man needs reporting. Disgusting behaviour from a grown ass man

I’d report. I can’t believe he actually thought it was appropriate to do!

can you imagine how shit it must be to have someone like @lljkk as your mother? 😞

If he faces repercussions, that's a consequence of his actions, it's certainly not your fault for reporting it. He had the choice not to send abusive messages while on the clock and at a work site.

@FourteenTog not sure if my message appeared correctly-it was aimed at a poster who said it would be sad if they lost their job over it which I think is insane…he deserves to 🤷‍♀️

you should stop taking photographs of your colleagues' wives and sending them horrible messages.
I hope you get reported to your employers and lose your job. Tough on your family, but hey, that's up to them now

You’re right, it wasn’t a nice thing to do, but he doesn’t need your consent to take your photo.

If everyone who did something stupid and unkind lost their job over it, the world would grind to a standstill. I think you should take no action, other than making your opinion clear.

Report report report. I would be devastated too. Let’s hope he doesn’t need your care In hospital one day.

No, if everyone who did something stupid and unkind whilst at work lost their job over it, people would be much more careful about their behaviour and the world would be a nicer place for it.

i think you need a re word

If anyone invades someone’s privacy
and
unsolicited distributes a picture of that someone, which identifies them, and without them knowing
and
accompanies said picture with a personal and offensive comment
and
does all the above whilst representing his employer

Then there maybe a problem with the job market, yes

but as can be seen by the surprise and disgust expressed on this thread… the above is a rare and quite extraordinary scenario

Another one saying definitely report it. Please don’t worry about his livelihood. He didn’t worry about yours did he? Our livelihood is very linked to our mental health.

Awful that you can’t just pop out to walk your dog without making yourself ‘male gaze ready’ in terms of clothes and make up.

Please be emboldened by the supportive replies you’ve had on this thread @Annoyedofnorfolk

Toxic masculinity in action

Your partner was an idiot to inform you of this. What was his purpose?

Are people such weaklings they can't keep anything to themselves any longer but must download every thought and occurrence to others?

@Annoyedofnorfolk it doesn’t matter what you looked like, this sort of behaviour should be unacceptable. It’s great to hear your partner is appropriately supportI’ve. Please do report this. Can you imagine if he does this to someone feeling too fragile to cope with it? The consequences could be worse. This is not acceptable behaviour.

After everything that the OP has written, you still think that is what this is about? The "taking" of a photo??

Totally agree.

I think the husband was joining in with the negging by needlessly sharing this.

My husband would never in a million years tell me something so cruel that could only play on my mind and make me feel like shit.