Offering refreshments to guests

[ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy]

Based off of couple of other threads, who doesn't offer refreshments to guests on arrival?

I'd find it very odd to arrive somewhere and not be instantly offered tea or coffee, likewise, I would never not offer it on arrival and throughout the visit. I'd also put a few biscuits/cake/nuts/crisps or whatever on the table.

Going by other responses on here, there are people that wouldn't offer tea or coffee, and certainly not nibbles. So I wondered why? If you are one of these people, why don't you offer?

Yabu: No one needs refreshments, if you do, stop at a coffee shop before arriving at my house.

Yanbu: It's normal to offer tea and coffee, and EVEN snacks and nibbles.

I admit to being a bit of a extreme example, but I always like to have my house in a state that I wouldn't be embarrassed if the Queen (or i suppose nowadays the King) dropped in unannounced. That means home made or posh biscuit or cakes in the tin/cupboard, clean and tidy at least in the living room and loo. Anyone coming to my house will be offered drinks and something to eat immediately. If I know you well I will ask you to take your shoes off though (the Queen can keep hers on if she wants, although I do have some nice guest slippers).

Don't your biscuits go out of date though? I can't get my head round this, it all sounds a bit Hyacinth to me.

😂

I’ve lived entire life, without meeting a group of people so socially inept and anxious as your average MNer.

The prevalence of such people on here is the most incredible eye-opener to me - proud of being hermits and afraid of other people.

Nowhere, in nearly 50 years on the planet, have I encountered so many people who not only don’t want friends, but don’t even have the first clue as to how to be around other people. I expect the latter is the reason for the former.

Same here. I find it quite ridiculous.

I don't invite people to be guests in my home and I don't keep hot drinks here. We have some tea bags and instant coffee from ages ago that is probably out of date now. The only people we have coming in are workmen etc and I don't offer anything to them, it feels inappropriate as they are always in a rush and have other jobs to get to.

I don't like drinking tea or coffee and especially don't like drinking it in other people's homes as I'm never convinced they make it to the same hygiene practices as a commercial coffee shop. Sometimes I've accepted because it feels more awkward to refuse but it's just something to fiddle with tbh.

I don't drink coffee and don't keep any at home, so I wouldn't offer it.

The suggestion to "take coats and ask about the drinks at the door" sounds unnatural and fake to me, like "see how good host I am". Actually a lost of your "surely" sentences sounds very performative.

I don't have guests except people here on official business, ie from Mum's care providers. If it's a sit-down meeting I'll ask if they want a cuppa, but I wouldn't dream of offering food, even if I had nibbles in the house, which I don't.

Everyone who comes through my door, pre arranged or not, gets offered a choice of hot and cold drinks, along with biscuits and cake, even tradesmen.
They'll even get offered a sandwich if I'm making one for myself.

Who says theres a need to have a cupboard 'stuffed with snacks/biscuits/cakes' though?

There's usually a packet of biscuits in our cupboard, might be bourbons, might be rich tea, might be malted milk if you're lucky. There is probably also the makings of cheese on toast.

I'd ask a visitor who has travelled if they have eaten, sometimes on long journeys, plans to eat before setting out or on the way fall through, journeys end up longer than expected or the planned route has to be changed.

If a visitor declines an offer of whatever though, thats it, I don't push anything on them, I let them know if they change their mind just ask, and thats it. I think nagging and pushing people to accept food/drink they've said they do not want is every bit as rude as not offering a drink/checking to see if guests need food.

My friend never offers a drink. It's really odd.m!

I am not really bothered I will take what I am offered but I have been offered before I step in the door, I wouldn't really say this but I feel like saying 'can I put my bag down first'

So I do offer but not immediately

I always offer hot/cold drink to pretty much anyone who sets foot in my house I'm Irish it's in my blood.

I offer a drink straight away, it doesn’t normally occur to me to offer biscuits the like if people have just popped in, we don’t keep them in the house or eat them much ourselves, but if I know people are visiting I might bake or something.

I wouldn't put nibbles out for a mate but would def offer a drink. Nibbles is a bit ott

I'm originally from Yorkshire, it is in my DNA to offer a drink to any visitor, anyone working in my home, the window cleaner and when we have really hot weather the bin men get a can of pop or an alcohol free beer.

Nibbles, biscuits - I usually have some in even though I'm not a big fan but I'll put the jar on the table and let people decide if they want one, I might put some crisps in a bowl.

@user1483387154 but don't you have any in for guests? I don't drink tea, I might have an earl grey rarely but I have tea in the house for guests. I even have cardamom pods for anyone that wants Indian tea.

And milk, I will either have some in the freezer or some long life in the cupboard.

If I know someone is coming I will get fresh milk.

You’ve based this on some people not
offering food/drink to guests ?

No, with the cost of living crisis and with my personal circumstances I cant afford to buy in stuff just for other people to have when i wouldnt use any myself. I don't even own a kettle as wouldn't use it.

What? No.

I’ve based it on 15 years of being on MN.

😂😂😂

We have no cakes/ biscuits etc in the house unless we are expecting people to call then we buy something. So if I am not expecting you I can only offer you tea/coffee or a glass of water. Its expected you say yes unless it’s a flying visit. When we visit other people I would expect to be offered tea/coffee and I accept (one exception though because honestly I am worried about hygiene in that particular house so always make up an excuse as to refuse their hospitality). My DH doesn’t drink tea or coffee so usually myself and the hosts tell him how odd he is.

It doesn’t seem to have much relevance to this thread is all

I would always offer drinks and snacks. I don’t tend to keep biscuits and cakes in but I tend to have something put aside in case of an unexpected visit. If visitors are expected I usually bake as I love baking but don’t want to eat the goodies!

There are some completely ridiculous responses to this thread, along the lines I’d never see in real life. Only on here, where people are so bizarre about other humans crossing the threshold into their home, and generally having friends and socialising.

I avoid having guests. But even as the misanthropic hermit I am, I would always offer tea/coffee to anyone who comes into my house (e.g. tradespeople). If there were a reason for someone to visit I would also make sure I had cake, even though I don't particularly like it myself.