Offering refreshments to guests

[ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy]

Based off of couple of other threads, who doesn't offer refreshments to guests on arrival?

I'd find it very odd to arrive somewhere and not be instantly offered tea or coffee, likewise, I would never not offer it on arrival and throughout the visit. I'd also put a few biscuits/cake/nuts/crisps or whatever on the table.

Going by other responses on here, there are people that wouldn't offer tea or coffee, and certainly not nibbles. So I wondered why? If you are one of these people, why don't you offer?

Yabu: No one needs refreshments, if you do, stop at a coffee shop before arriving at my house.

Yanbu: It's normal to offer tea and coffee, and EVEN snacks and nibbles.

Some of you sound like you might as well just chat on the doorstep them slam the door in your guests face, Jesus Christ.

You have invited these people to your house ffs

Yea, they do, believe me.

Ah see I don’t invite people here either so they basically door stepped me if they are here 😂

My MIL offers one to everyone except us when we visit. I don't quite understand. She falls over herself to tell me how welcome I always am with the children.
Anyone else visits, the kettle goes straight on.

If someone visits us, the kettle is on and ill try to make lunch.
Even the HV gets an offering of biscuits.

I expect you can make a small chicken breast go round yourself, husband, two small children and even the cat.

I'm not a fan of unannounced guests myself but would always offer a drink, snacks maybe but as I'm greedy I might have already eaten them myself.

Actually, if they've just turned up then they haven't been invited at all.

I can still remember going to a friend's house for lunch when DC were preschool age with a couple of other parents. We arrived later, as DC's preschool finished a bit later and this was known.

DC had some food - no issue. But I wasn't offered a thing - I ended up leaving about 3pm to do school pick up and I can still remember how hungry I was. It was the oddest thing.

You do know you aren't forced to eat them?!

My family are Irish. If a guest left my DGM’s house without being rolled away full of food she’d have considered herself a failure. I’m not quite that extreme but I’d always offer a drink, snacks and lunch if it was lunchtime. Always consider it very odd if people don’t, it makes me feel like they’re hurrying me to leave.

Everyone gets offered a drink if they come to our home, I even made the postman a cup of tea.

I'd offer nice coffee from the Tassimo machine or water - I don't drink tea so don't have it. I also don't have sugar in usually although some of the coffee pods are already sweetened.

I wouldn't offer snacks unless I had them in which is pretty unlikely. Tbh I tend to meet friends and siblings etc out at the pub or in the park or something so the only people I really 'host' at home regularly are my parents, who always bring biscuits or cake anyway (my mum loves to bake!).

You'd get a hot drink or glass of water offered at mine. Although given I often don't have milk in it might be a black tea or coffee or a herbal tea. However you wouldn't be offered a biscuit or piece of cake. I'm gluten free so I don't have anything like that in my cupboard, and the amount of visitors I get it's definitely not worth buying a pack of normal biscuits or cakes for them to stale in the cupboard

Always offer selection of hot and cold drinks and then if outside of mealtimes I will put nice biscuits or cheese and crackers on a plate so they can help themselves if they wish.

I would think it extremely rude to not be offered a drink and its hardly difficult to keep a pack of biscuits in the back of the cupboard for guests, is it?

I'll offer a drink to a planned visitor. No nibbles, because we don't have them

The only people who don't expect a bit of basic (or more!) hospitality are those who don't do it for others either.

one of the first things I normally ask is if I can get anyone a drink. This includes people who are working in the house/ garden I will often just have some biscuits on the side for them to help themselves.

I think it is based on how you were raised it was the norm in my family but I know people who would just never think about it.

Oh and if we have workmen coming, we’ve continued my grandmother’s tradition of either baking for them or making sure the cupboard is full of chocolate biscuits 😂 I’d be mortified if we didn’t have something decent to offer the plumber/electric/decorator. They end up refusing food because they’d be fed all day while they’re with us.

You know OP, you’ve started a thread to ask people’s opinions, and now you are busily and aggressively telling everyone they are wrong. You also don’t seem to be able to make up your mind whether we are taking about planned or unplanned guests which is quite key.

You wanted opinions and you’ve got them. People are different - the point of a thread like this should be to discover how and why, rather than be rude to people.

Someone who has to turn every conversation into an argument is a lot rider than someone who doesn’t offer food to surprise guests.

For me it's quite simple -

1. invited = expect some hospitality
2. just turn up = not invited = hospitality is nice if offered, but not to be expected.

100% this

Nothing for pop ins. I HATE people calling around without notice. For pre-arranged visits, I'll make a nice tea tray, with cake or biscuits. Even afternoon tea

My close F&F make their own. We are all comfortable enough with this.

Oh go and eat some swede 🙄

If it's a long visit then I'll offer a cuppa/biscuit, not if it's a brief call.

Some people also maybe cannot afford to lavishly feed every random work person who visits their house.

My MIL doesnt... after a two hour drive with a toddler she expects my partner to make it for us all. And she wonders why we haven't visited since May...

For electricians, plumbers, roofers etc, I will bake or get biscuits in. If they are around for a few days, I will get in what they like.

We don’t drink tea or coffee here, so we don’t have it available to offer but we would always offer a drink (ice water with lime, soft drink etc)