Offering refreshments to guests

[ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy]

Based off of couple of other threads, who doesn't offer refreshments to guests on arrival?

I'd find it very odd to arrive somewhere and not be instantly offered tea or coffee, likewise, I would never not offer it on arrival and throughout the visit. I'd also put a few biscuits/cake/nuts/crisps or whatever on the table.

Going by other responses on here, there are people that wouldn't offer tea or coffee, and certainly not nibbles. So I wondered why? If you are one of these people, why don't you offer?

Yabu: No one needs refreshments, if you do, stop at a coffee shop before arriving at my house.

Yanbu: It's normal to offer tea and coffee, and EVEN snacks and nibbles.

Always drinks. I never have snacks, biscuits or fruit in the house and it wouldn't even occur to me that it might be expected.

So is checking if it's a good time to come over.

It's definitely ruder to turn up unannounced.

I would automatically offer tea , coffee or water - maybe some cake if my husband has been experimenting with baking again but, no, I wouldn’t be laying out plates of biscuits if someone had just dropped in as it’s not something I keep in ‘in case’ .

If I was having a prearranged meet for coffee then maybe but in that case I would probably meet them in one of the many coffee shops near me. If it’s a larger gathering like a book club type event then I might have some biscuits on offer if that has been the pattern.

I don’t have a sweet tooth at all, though, and don’t like having biscuits pushed on me - if I respond with a polite smile and a ‘no thank you’, then it’s annoying to have ‘ oh, go on - one won’t hurt’.

Yes to offering drinks to all guests whether expected or unexpected. If we’ve got biscuits or other decent snacks in the house I’ll usually offer those too.

I genuinely hate it when people turn up unexpectedly, mainly because we don’t keep lots of extra snacks and things around and people sometimes seem a bit disappointed there isn’t more of a ‘spread’. Well there bloody would be if you’d told us you were coming!

🤣ellie

NI here too & there’s 2 sayings I love:

Tea’s too wet on it’s own (it needs a biscuit)

Don’t visit with your two arms the one length (ie take a packet of biscuits etc)

Can’t remember PP name re no milk in house but if my DC is away I never buy milk either.

I keep the wee uht cartons that come with bought tea/coffee (as I take black) & they are handy for unexpected visitors when no fresh milk in.

I personally prefer planned visits for various reasons, but not least so I can, like ellie says, get a spread in 😋

I always offer tea or coffee and apologise for not having biscuits or cake to offer because we don’t have them in the house as I’d eat them all.

If I had them in I’d offer them but it’s incredibly rare that we do. I buy chocolate on a JIT basis.

Drinks would be offered, yes.

Biscuits, cake etc would not as I don’t ever buy them.

Most very basic manners

Guest arrives with a small gift - biscuits, cake, chocolates ;and if arriving for a meal with wine)

Host offers tea, coffee, soft drinks and something to eat ranging from biscuit to meal.

Anything else is rude (tight).

🤣

I'm of Indian heritage.. and maybe its overboard but I've continued to do what my mum and all my other "aunties" do..
Chai/coffee.. bombay mix, savoury snacks, and biscuits .. if its someone we really like samoosas/ pakoras.. one of a collective memory amongst me and my friends is hoping the samosas wouldn't all be eaten sonde could have them afterwards!!
Many of my friends have also carried on this hospitality tradition I love it!!

I never offer anyone drinks. Mainly because it doesn’t cross my mind because I don’t drink tea or coffee I mean it’s in the house as dh drinks it but it’s basically not even in my radar.

If someone asks me for one I’ll make it but unless it’s a hot hot day for say cold canned pop, drinks don’t even cross my mind as I just sip water periodically as I pass the fridge.

Clearly I’m a terrible host 😂 but I don’t actually want people in my home anyway so win win I guess.

Same here

I would offer a drink which could be hot, cold or even alcoholic depending on the person and the time of day, but never food or snacks unless they had actually been invited for a meal
I dont have unnecessary food in the house in any case

Drinks, yes. Food, no. Drinks are usually cold, though. None of my friends are hot drinks people.

I dont drink hot drinks, so no i wouldn't think to automatically offer a drink as i tend to only have a drink with meals/food, and thrn its just water. If we're just sat in the lounge chatting or whatever why do people need drinks? If people pop in unannounced i probably don't actually have anything apart from water for them to have anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

Depends on how long they are staying. My in laws often pop round and stay under an hour so we don't offer drinks and they don't offer to us if we go to theirs for under an hour. Otherwise I offer a drink, we don't drink tea or coffee but I do always make sure I have some in the house just in case.

I don't offer anything to eat unless they are visiting for the whole day or staying with us.

Always offer tea/coffee or a cold drink. If its prearranged then I will have biscuits/cake. If it's not, it's doubtful I will have stuff in, as we aren't huge cake/biscuit eaters. Always do at Christmas time though.

I don't offer as such because I know the tea/coffee preferences of everyone who might just walk in my house unannounced, so I'm half way to the kitchen to make it before they've got their coat off. If they don't want it they have to shout. 😆

Always offer drinks/snacks

I work from home and have clients visit in the evening, and always offer just a hot drink. But the only friends I have found are the "been friends forever, you can be in your pjs" kind of people. So we'll have a drink at some point, one of us will make it. Sometimes we'll order food. But there's no ceremony.

Oh god some of these posts sound so miserable. I can't imagine sitting there sipping water while not offering anything. Everyday our childminder drops off DC I invite her in for a tea. She says yes about one in five times then I always put some chocolate or biscuits out too if we have any in the house.

I know this isn't what this thread is about but I have one very tight ex friend. She would consume everything in sight in my house, never bringing a bottle of wine to dinner or a gift of any sort. She never invited me for dinner but one time I came to visit her sick father and brought lots of cream cakes and flowers. She put them away and prepared herself a meal which she sat and ate in front of me.

This sounds lovely.

We always offer tea, coffee, juice or soft drinks.

In terms of food, if it's planned in advance then we'd have something in - even if it's just a couple of packs of biscuits. If not, then there'd always be something in the cupboards but it may not be very interesting!

Of course always offer a hot drink and some kind of nibbles to guests. It feels rude and miserly not to.