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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

honestly, would you think badly of me for this?

202 replies

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 22:43

just wondered would this honestly put you off, or make you think negatively at all?

Im in a profession where I see clients and I sit approx 1.5m meter away from them. But I have horrendous psoriasis which flares up and down and unfortunately right now is very much a flare up. Im covered all over my neck, scalp, ears, edge of my face and across my body with it. Its just the typical psoraisis plaques and it looks pretty awful. I've been under dermatology for years but am stuck between a rock and a hardplace with treatment- we have tried everything available topically and nothing controls it, but its not widespread enough to merit biologics etc. Phototherapy didnt helping either and can't be carried out over my scalp anyway because of my hair. The only thing that helps in the short term is oral steroids so I usually get prednisone to take. anyway, im digressing and ill probably make another thread about treatments etc, but ill get back to the original point of my thread now.

as a client, would this put you off seeing me? or would you honestly think anything negatively at all? im self conscious but thought it was something people would undoubtably notice but not say anything about but ive had quite a lot of stares and grossed out looks in public at the shops and ive had a few comments too unfortunately recently

it doesn't affect my ability to do my job and I usually sit about 1.5m from patients so near enough to for them to notice but its not actually near them IWSIM. and its not on my hands or arms.

would this put you off seeing me or make you think negatively about me? suppose I just wondered what people would honestly think (I promise im not going to get all offended if its not good)
Thanks x

OP posts:
Original poster
snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 22:44

sorry, absolutely no idea where the word patient came from! pretty sure I typed 'people'! although doesn't really make much of a difference to the point of the thread I suppose x

OP posts:
Ratfinkstinkypink · 02/12/2023 22:44

No, it wouldn't put me off nor would I think negatively of you.

Oxborn · 02/12/2023 22:45

Personally it really wouldn’t make any difference to me

OhHowTheDogsStackUp · 02/12/2023 22:45

It wouldn't bother me, but I have psoriasis myself.

I'd really hope people wouldn't find it off-putting!

ANightingale · 02/12/2023 22:47

No, I wouldn't think very much about it. My sister has a skin condition that affects her hands and arms, making them raw and weeping when she has a flare up - skin conditions aren't that uncommon, sadly.

FictionalCharacter · 02/12/2023 22:47

It wouldn’t put me off at all. I’ve seen plenty of people with psoriasis.

Thatfeatherthere · 02/12/2023 22:47

It wouldn't put me off seeing you remotely. Nor would I think negatively of you.

CatherinedeBourgh · 02/12/2023 22:48

I might wince a bit in sympathy if it was looking very raw, but other than that wouldn't take any notice.

Mummymummy89 · 02/12/2023 22:48

Does your job involve contact or healthcare eg are you a GP so you have to lean in and look in someone's ear or something?

Or are you more like a solicitor etc?

I think if the former I can see why people would be uncomfortable even though I know psoriasis isn't contagious.

If the latter then it's not a thing at all

runwithme · 02/12/2023 22:49

I feel like this, my psoriasis is all over but most visible on my hairline and scalp, and I feel so self conscious about it. I'd definitely not judge you, but would 100% empathise with you x

mrmagpie · 02/12/2023 22:53

I wouldn't judge at all, if anything I'd feel sympathetic. Psoriasis is quite a misunderstood condition I think and I'm sure you get all the 'oh have you tried E45 on it?' stuff, which wouldn't make a blind bit of difference.

Anyway, no I wouldn't judge and I'm sorry you are worried about that.

Starbeeees · 02/12/2023 22:56

God no judgement or think any less of you, absolutely not.

dudsville · 02/12/2023 22:58

Anyone who thinks badly of you for having a skin condition is just mean. I would feel sympathetic. It's such an uncomfortable condition.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 02/12/2023 23:00

No, I'd feel sorry for you because of how sore it can get.

im also sorry that you feel so worried about others reactions.

atthebottomofthehill · 02/12/2023 23:03

I think most people could recognise psoriasis and understand that it's just a skin condition, think no more of it, same as if person had acne or alopecia or I don't know, whatever. Have you spoken to a therapist though? Can help you in finding ways to feel more confident

Ihateslugs · 02/12/2023 23:04

mrmagpie · 02/12/2023 22:53

I wouldn't judge at all, if anything I'd feel sympathetic. Psoriasis is quite a misunderstood condition I think and I'm sure you get all the 'oh have you tried E45 on it?' stuff, which wouldn't make a blind bit of difference.

Anyway, no I wouldn't judge and I'm sorry you are worried about that.

Gosh yes, I can’t remember how many people have offered me advice about “miracle” cures they’ve read about on the internet! I’ve had psoriasis for over 50 years and have tried numerous creams and lotions, treatments and pills.

Luckily I rarely got plaques on my face or neck so was able to hide them under my clothes. I also learnt when stress was likely to cause a flare up so made sure I had plenty of steroid creams on hand to attack the buggers as they appeared! For me, outbreaks tended to occur months after a stressful time.

Also luckily, going through an early menopause at 44 seems to have reduced the outbreaks, my knees and elbows just suddenly became plaque free and smooth, like new skin. I now only get random spots on my arms and scalp which respond well to my creams and moisturiser.

So I would not be put off by sitting near someone with psoriasis or any skin condition, I’ve had my fair share of nasty comments over the years. Neither would I offer you any advice!

HoHoHoliday · 02/12/2023 23:04

I wouldn't think negatively of you nor would it put me off seeing you. But in all honesty, yes I would notice and probably be distracted as I'd be wondering whether you were in pain or bothered by itching. So perhaps it might work well for you to bring it up, explain to your client that they will notice you have a flare up but rest assured you feel fine and not at all distracted by it.

watchingtheworldwithwoe · 02/12/2023 23:05

As a client no it wouldn't put me off seeing you at all, however it might take me back the first time as it would make me wince thinking it was painful etc. It wouldn't make me not want to see you if you're good at what you do though. Sorry if I'm being unreasonable... I just answered honestly. My sister in law has really bad psoriasis and it still takes me back when she has a flare up. I feel sad and sympathetic for her but nothing more than that xx

TheAlchemistElixa · 02/12/2023 23:05

I might have a quick curious glance at it if it was noticeable, and then it wouldn’t enter my head again. If it looked particularly inflamed or active, then I would think very sympathetically towards you for a moment, and then it wouldn’t enter my head again.

moonriverandme · 02/12/2023 23:06

Definitely not. I would feel sympathy for you, but wouldn't mention it to you. I wouldn't think negatively of you, it's not something you can help. It's a miserable condition. I'm so sorry you feel the need to ask if people would judge you for a medical condition. My daughter has psoriasis so I understand how self-conscious it can make you feel.

Hummusanddipdip · 02/12/2023 23:06

Wouldn't stop me seeing you, I might wonder if you're comfy (dh best friend gets horribly itchy with it) but otherwise, no impact, like most others I see from the replies.

weatherheather · 02/12/2023 23:08

I would really try and push for methotrexate or other types of drug - I've been there since age 11 - and after everything this has worked - good luck - it's such a painful, stressful, soul destroying disease x

weatherheather · 02/12/2023 23:09

And by the way - I have never had anyone be bothered by my appearance!

Fionaville · 02/12/2023 23:11

I would have sympathy for you, having suffered with it in the past. I definitely wouldn't think negatively about you and it wouldn't put me off coming to you.
Anecdotally, I was in a really bad way with it for a few years. I was told I looked like I'd been in a motorbike accident at one point because my knees and elbows were so bad. No treatments made it better. It was only when I got pregnant that it completely disappeared for good! I was about to start clinical trials too. It's been 10 years now, I often wonder if they've done research with a link to hormonal changes.

MeinKraft · 02/12/2023 23:11

I wouldn't, but I have it too. I can just about cover or control it everywhere but my ears, it's completely out of control in my ears for some reason. I know it must look gross.

As an aside, for anyone with psoriasis, one of my toes has swollen up like a sausage this last few months. Does this mean what I think it means Sad

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