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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

honestly, would you think badly of me for this?

202 replies

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 22:43

just wondered would this honestly put you off, or make you think negatively at all?

Im in a profession where I see clients and I sit approx 1.5m meter away from them. But I have horrendous psoriasis which flares up and down and unfortunately right now is very much a flare up. Im covered all over my neck, scalp, ears, edge of my face and across my body with it. Its just the typical psoraisis plaques and it looks pretty awful. I've been under dermatology for years but am stuck between a rock and a hardplace with treatment- we have tried everything available topically and nothing controls it, but its not widespread enough to merit biologics etc. Phototherapy didnt helping either and can't be carried out over my scalp anyway because of my hair. The only thing that helps in the short term is oral steroids so I usually get prednisone to take. anyway, im digressing and ill probably make another thread about treatments etc, but ill get back to the original point of my thread now.

as a client, would this put you off seeing me? or would you honestly think anything negatively at all? im self conscious but thought it was something people would undoubtably notice but not say anything about but ive had quite a lot of stares and grossed out looks in public at the shops and ive had a few comments too unfortunately recently

it doesn't affect my ability to do my job and I usually sit about 1.5m from patients so near enough to for them to notice but its not actually near them IWSIM. and its not on my hands or arms.

would this put you off seeing me or make you think negatively about me? suppose I just wondered what people would honestly think (I promise im not going to get all offended if its not good)
Thanks x

OP posts:
fugees · 03/12/2023 07:40

It's not something that would bother me at all, but I have eczema so i know how you feel. I haven't read all the comments so not sure if anyone has suggested trying a Chinese herbal doctor? Honestly it cleared my skin right up. Perhaps worth a try?

Projectme · 03/12/2023 07:44

Wouldn't put me off seeing you at all! A family member has had it for 40 years. He had to have a 6 month stint in hospital back in the 80s where he had cold tar treatment but made little difference. He's already had a lifetimes worth of PUVA treatment so can't have anymore.

Holidaying in hot countries work wonders and he'd often go to florida but he had the worst 'people' experiences there...as in hearing whispers in a queue...'urgh don't stand close to him, you'll catch whatever he's got...ew that's grim'.

As a consequence, he's never in shorts or short sleeves and my heart breaks for him on a stifling hot day.

He's been offered methotrexate but isn't keen to take it as both his partner and mother is on it and side effects haven't been nice. So it's the hour long ritual of special shower gels, creams etc to help ease symptoms atm.

You have my upmost sympathy in dealing with such a horrible condition. I hope you find something that helps.

Onceuponaheartache · 03/12/2023 07:50

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 23:17

I’m really keen to try methotrexate! I mentioned it but was told it wasn’t widespread enough for it as apparently it needs to cover almost all of the body for it 😩 I’ve heard so many good results about it though. Wondering if it’s possible to have it prescribed privately if I could see a private dermatologist? I’ve only ever been under NHS x

Get a second opinion. Dd has chronic atopic eczema and has been on methotrexate for 4 years now, she is 10 currently. The worst if her eczema is on her hands.

Now, don't get me wrong I had to have a massive flip out at her consultant after 2 years of "we will just try this cream" but I stood my ground and demanded systemic treatment.

It has been a game changer! She didn't sleep through the night til she went on it, she would have horrific flare ups, anaphylaxis to all sorts of environmental conditions...we have had virtually nothing since about 4 months after the treatment started.

The potential risks with Methotrexate are huge so please do your research but honestly even when she was 6 the risk of liver damage rtc was worth it if it changed her life.

I know some people get some iffy side effects but dd has had none at all. The liquid version made her sick when she first went on it, but the tablets change that and now she uses a metoject pen whi h is an autoinjector a bit like an epipen. She was asked at her last appointment if she wanted to come off and try creams again, she flat out refused.

Strawberrypicnic · 03/12/2023 07:59

No, not at all, as I have a family member with psoriasis and I myself had severe acne until the age of 22 (I know they're different things!). I remember the feeling of not wanting to look people in the eye and the fear of being judged. I think and hope that there is more awareness nowadays, though unfortunately there will always be a few who stare. I cannot imagine a single person I know having a problem sitting opposite you.

AliceS1994 · 03/12/2023 08:05

No, I have people in my life who also suffer with psoriasis and understand the condition isn't going to affect me at all,nor your ability to do your job. I imagine a reasonable amount of people also have the same general awareness of the condition. That said, I work in healthcare and have know patients to experience discrimination based on every possible visible illness/condition under the sun! So unfortunately I wouldn't be surprised if the odd person reacted strangely. Could be worth a discussion with your line manager if you feel uncomfortable? If I had an employee in a similar situation I would be open to WFH or more non-public facing work for a period while they recovered if it was causing them stress. Hope you get on top of it soon!

Himawarigirl · 03/12/2023 08:16

I worked with a lady that had it, sat opposite her in a small office, and never saw it as an issue, nor did any of the clients we went out to meet and agree business with, as far as I could tell. It was noticeable but I imagine it was tough for her to deal with without the judgement of people on top of it, so it was a non-issue. We only ever spoke about it once we got to know each other better and she mentioned it, I wouldn’t have brought it up.

FaiIureToLunch · 03/12/2023 08:17

psoriasis it’s a bastard disease, I was covered in it. Keto has absolutely got rid of most of it and I had lasagna the other night was broke out instantly. Might be worth exploring?

Dyra · 03/12/2023 08:24

If I noticed it, you would have nothing but my sympathy. If you noticed mine (only bits you can see when I'm in my scrubs are on my forehead, ears, back of hands, and forearms) I hope the sentiment would be the same. Not a single one of the patients I've come into contact with have ever said anything anyway. But then they're usually in a stressful situation, so understandable they probably don't no

On a side note, I can't believe yours isn't considered widespread enough for biologics. I've also come to the end of topical treatment, and I have my first dermatology appointment next month, and now slightly worried they might say the same about me. It certainly feels and looks widespread.

ApintofwhatFarageishaving · 03/12/2023 08:29

No I wouldn't mind at all.

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 03/12/2023 08:30

I had someone with similar work under my direction previously, he said something about being seen by biologics or similar. So I'm assuming his was maybe more severe.

No one in our workplace judged, the only thing I do remember people talking about was how painful it was and if they could help him in any way.

Camerasforinthehouse · 03/12/2023 08:31

It would send me into a self questioning spin but that is more about me than you. I have a compulsive urge to help whenever I see someone might need help. My brain just won’t switch it off. If I see someone drop something even if I’m nowhere near them I get the urge to run and pick it up for them.

So I would notice it and think that it must be hard to live with sometimes and I’d want to help. So I would then consider whether or not to mention acupuncture as I have been helped with a skin condition and know others with psoriasis that have found it helpful. I’d be weighing this up and probably decide not to say anything, unless you brought it up and it got on to what you’d tried already, as I know how utterly annoying unsolicited advice is.

It wouldn’t make me think anything negative about you.

Whitecup24 · 03/12/2023 08:33

Push push push for it, my daughter has been on Biologics after years on the pills and potions with no luck and it’s a miracle. I had to shout loud for it and get to a specialist consultant. Good luck.

GuitarGeorgina · 03/12/2023 08:39

Not at all.

one of my best friends suffers from the same

PinkTonic · 03/12/2023 08:41

It wouldn’t bother me but I don’t understand why you think you don’t qualify for better treatment if it’s on your face and neck. I am on biologics for psoriasis and I’ve never had any on my face. If you used the % of body check list, mine wasn’t widespread enough, but they also take into consideration impact on quality of life. I think if you are worrying about it like this then the impact on you is severe and you should go back to your specialist or find a different one. You don’t have to put up with it.

Winnading · 03/12/2023 08:51

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 23:17

I’m really keen to try methotrexate! I mentioned it but was told it wasn’t widespread enough for it as apparently it needs to cover almost all of the body for it 😩 I’ve heard so many good results about it though. Wondering if it’s possible to have it prescribed privately if I could see a private dermatologist? I’ve only ever been under NHS x

Pretty sure but not absolutely certain, it's not the area it covers, but the severity of the bits it does cover. I'd at least ask your gp for a referral.

Only saying this because a friend got it with really bad plaques on his arms, they were terrible and I just about forced him to the gp with them. It was a quick process and although not all gone, I'd say hes 90% better. And he only had it on his arms.

It's got to be worth a try for anyone with psoriasis, the worst that can happen is they say no.

Lndnmummy · 03/12/2023 08:52

I would not be 'put off' by this. Absolutely not. You would have my sympathy. My other half suffers with a skin condition which makes people stare at them. It is awful and really upsetting. Some people take the liberty of blurting out with whatever question or comments they have. I find it bizarre that people feel so brazen about that.

DisforDarkChocolate · 03/12/2023 08:55

Not at all. It sounds bad enough for biologics to me if you're thinking this way. Do they consider the impact on your mental health and work?

TommyandGina · 03/12/2023 08:56

MeinKraft · 02/12/2023 23:11

I wouldn't, but I have it too. I can just about cover or control it everywhere but my ears, it's completely out of control in my ears for some reason. I know it must look gross.

As an aside, for anyone with psoriasis, one of my toes has swollen up like a sausage this last few months. Does this mean what I think it means Sad

That sounds like the beginnings of psoriatic arthritis. I'd recommend you see a GP and ask for a rheumatology referral. Don't take no for an answer, as you need to get on top of it. Feel free to PM me - felllow sufferer here.

Bellyblueboy · 03/12/2023 08:57

Of course I wouldn’t! I might think oh no that looks painful. But I wouldn’t mention it nor would it in anyway change my experience of the service your provided.

FeetupTvon · 03/12/2023 08:57

No, would not even think twice about it.
skin complaints are hugely common.
I think you are definitely over thinking it.

sausagepastapot · 03/12/2023 08:58

It wouldn't bother me at all, unless there were obvious skin flakes around the room/on the floor/ furniture...

Now, that may sound really mean, but I was recently with a client where the floor and the only place to sit were covered in obvious dead skin scales, which was really unpleasant for me and made the visit very difficult.

Hugging/sitting near/next to a person with psoriasis doesn't faze me in the slightest. If I were you I'd just ensure the space was free of any skin debris.

(I don't mean this to be cruel or insensitive in any way; I'm just being really brutally honest OP).

bloodyfreezinghere · 03/12/2023 09:02

mrmagpie · 02/12/2023 22:53

I wouldn't judge at all, if anything I'd feel sympathetic. Psoriasis is quite a misunderstood condition I think and I'm sure you get all the 'oh have you tried E45 on it?' stuff, which wouldn't make a blind bit of difference.

Anyway, no I wouldn't judge and I'm sorry you are worried about that.

This

JoyeuxNarwhal · 03/12/2023 09:02

If you were a dermatologist then it would put me off seeing you again (in a "physician heal thyself" kind of way) but otherwise no.

ColleenDonaghy · 03/12/2023 09:13

Wouldn't bother me at all. All I'd be thinking is that my very moderate eczema can be so uncomfortable at times so I'd have a lot of sympathy for you.

Thewondererhasreturned · 03/12/2023 09:14

It wouldn't bother me at all i am there to get a service it doesnt matter what the service provider looks like. I'm sorry if you have experienced occasions where is has or people have said things this is wrong.

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