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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

honestly, would you think badly of me for this?

202 replies

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 22:43

just wondered would this honestly put you off, or make you think negatively at all?

Im in a profession where I see clients and I sit approx 1.5m meter away from them. But I have horrendous psoriasis which flares up and down and unfortunately right now is very much a flare up. Im covered all over my neck, scalp, ears, edge of my face and across my body with it. Its just the typical psoraisis plaques and it looks pretty awful. I've been under dermatology for years but am stuck between a rock and a hardplace with treatment- we have tried everything available topically and nothing controls it, but its not widespread enough to merit biologics etc. Phototherapy didnt helping either and can't be carried out over my scalp anyway because of my hair. The only thing that helps in the short term is oral steroids so I usually get prednisone to take. anyway, im digressing and ill probably make another thread about treatments etc, but ill get back to the original point of my thread now.

as a client, would this put you off seeing me? or would you honestly think anything negatively at all? im self conscious but thought it was something people would undoubtably notice but not say anything about but ive had quite a lot of stares and grossed out looks in public at the shops and ive had a few comments too unfortunately recently

it doesn't affect my ability to do my job and I usually sit about 1.5m from patients so near enough to for them to notice but its not actually near them IWSIM. and its not on my hands or arms.

would this put you off seeing me or make you think negatively about me? suppose I just wondered what people would honestly think (I promise im not going to get all offended if its not good)
Thanks x

OP posts:
Ace56 · 03/12/2023 09:18

I interviewed someone with what looked like extreme psoriasis the other day. I felt sympathy for her but it in no way affected her performance or my ability to judge her performance.

Mongrelsrbeautiful · 03/12/2023 09:20

There will always be some idiots OP - is your role the sort where you encounter a high percentage of people more likely to fall into that category? Mine is, hence my response. For me personally, severe skin conditions can be uncomfortable to look at for split second ( being truthful), then it becomes irrelevant as I focus on the person, who is a lot more than their skin obviously, even looks wise. It certainly doesn't put me off someone as a professional or a friend. I'm so sorry you have to consider this.

Waitingfordoggo · 03/12/2023 09:21

I would feel for you but wouldn’t think badly of you at all.

Skinskinskin · 03/12/2023 09:27

weatherheather · 02/12/2023 23:08

I would really try and push for methotrexate or other types of drug - I've been there since age 11 - and after everything this has worked - good luck - it's such a painful, stressful, soul destroying disease x

I’m a dermatology nurse but never get drawn into these type of threads but I just feel so sorry for you. I work in the NHS and from your description you’d at the very least qualify for methotrexate (assuming you have no contraindications). Work out your PASI score and your DLQI get in contact with your dermatology dept explain what’s going on and ask to be seen, I know the wait is often very long for an appointment, but get the ball rolling and push for methotrexate. No one should have to put up with that level of psoriasis. It is perfectly realistic to be virtually psoriasis free.
Good luck.

Psoriasis Area Severity Index (PASI) Calculator

Psoriasis Area Severity Index (PASI) Calculator

http://pasi.corti.li/

Balloonhearts · 03/12/2023 09:30

No not at all. Even people with no experience of psoriasis know Eczema which is similar and would be aware that most skin conditions aren't contagious. It wouldn't even be on my radar to care about tbh I'd just think oooh that looks itchy.

PylaSheight · 03/12/2023 09:35

@daisychain01 I disagree. In an ideal world everyone would know what psoriasis is, understand it's not infectious, and not have a negative reaction to it. However, we don't live in an ideal world and @snowsnowsnow1 has encountered negativity.

She can think "I shouldn't have to explain this to anyone" and continue worrying about what they think, or she can address the potential elephant in the room, understand that not everyone is educated about the condition, and mention it. That may then allow her and her clients to relax and focus on the reason they're there.

Skinskinskin · 03/12/2023 09:37

Please watch this . It beautifully details how psoriasis impacts on people’s lives and gives a real insight into those suffering with this much misunderstood condition.

The Skin I'm In (Updated)

This is the updated version of this short film. Written and performed by Sarah Sutcliffe and Danny Scheinmann, in collaboration with Dr Sandy McBride, 'The S...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UW9K1m4bZ04&t=0s

JoanMacIntosh · 03/12/2023 09:39

I wouldn’t think badly of you, you can’t help it can you? It’s a terrible condition, I’ve seen a loved one go through it and I would have nothing but sympathy for you. I hope you’re not in too much pain.

BlueEyedPeanut · 03/12/2023 09:46

PylaSheight · 03/12/2023 09:35

@daisychain01 I disagree. In an ideal world everyone would know what psoriasis is, understand it's not infectious, and not have a negative reaction to it. However, we don't live in an ideal world and @snowsnowsnow1 has encountered negativity.

She can think "I shouldn't have to explain this to anyone" and continue worrying about what they think, or she can address the potential elephant in the room, understand that not everyone is educated about the condition, and mention it. That may then allow her and her clients to relax and focus on the reason they're there.

It's not the elephant in the room. It's just her skin. Would you expect anyone else with a condition, disability or disfigurement to explain it to strangers? Does a woman without hair have to explain why she doesn't have hair? Does she have to explain why she's in a wheelchair? It is nobody's business. It isn't her job to educate ignorant people. If she is working there, then she is fine to be there. That is all you need to know.

Itsbritneybitch22 · 03/12/2023 09:51

No it wouldn’t I would feel awful for you.

Have you tried a vitamin IV drip? Look up Dr Malik he does ones especially for Psoriasis and it does really help.

Also try goat milk cream by capure.

Head and shoulder anti itch helps on head.

Birdcar · 03/12/2023 09:52

"as a client, would this put you off seeing me?"

Not in the slightest.

Theflying19 · 03/12/2023 09:55

I wouldn't necessarily think negatively but tbh I'm fairly sure I would also be wondering about it as I'm not that familiar with psoriasis. I might be wondering if it is infectious and would be reassured to be told it's psoriasis and not infectious. It might educate a whole lot of people too.

Theflying19 · 03/12/2023 09:56

Defo would not put me off seeing you. If I felt a doctor listened and was genuine and didn't dismiss me they'd be at the top of my list. Those I'd avoid seeing again are dismissive, invalidating and lacking in people skills.

BlueEyedPeanut · 03/12/2023 10:03

Are people really stupid enough to think someone with a contagious skin disease would just be sitting there working with the public?

GladioliandSweetPeas · 03/12/2023 10:05

BlueEyedPeanut · 03/12/2023 10:03

Are people really stupid enough to think someone with a contagious skin disease would just be sitting there working with the public?

In this day & age, given all the levels of stupidity I've witnessed lately, yep. I absolutely do...

BlueEyedPeanut · 03/12/2023 10:08

GladioliandSweetPeas · 03/12/2023 10:05

In this day & age, given all the levels of stupidity I've witnessed lately, yep. I absolutely do...

Show quote history

So true. It's depressing.

LuvSmallDogs · 03/12/2023 10:11

I wouldn't judge you, I've known a few people with plaque psoriasis and a few years ago I temporarily developed guttate psoriasis after having strep throat.

Stupidliefromfriend · 03/12/2023 10:14

It absolutely would not make me think badly of you. I hope you get some relief soon.

Circularargument · 03/12/2023 10:17

dudsville · 02/12/2023 22:58

Anyone who thinks badly of you for having a skin condition is just mean. I would feel sympathetic. It's such an uncomfortable condition.

This, God. I'd feel sympathy only.,

itsmyp4rty · 03/12/2023 11:06

We have terrible eczema in the family, I don't know much about psoriasis but I know how awful eczema can be and would assume it was similar.

People can be shockingly ignorant - but it's entirely up to you how you want to handle it as it is their problem not yours. If you don't want to say anything because it's nothing to do with them then don't, if you prefer to address it them then do that. Do what's best for you.

RethinkingLife · 03/12/2023 11:28

MeinKraft · 02/12/2023 23:11

I wouldn't, but I have it too. I can just about cover or control it everywhere but my ears, it's completely out of control in my ears for some reason. I know it must look gross.

As an aside, for anyone with psoriasis, one of my toes has swollen up like a sausage this last few months. Does this mean what I think it means Sad

Seconding everyone who's suggested you might benefit from an assessment for psoriatic arthritis.

BrokenBonesStixStones · 03/12/2023 11:37

No, it wouldn’t make any difference to me at all ❤️ I think if someone did judge you, it shows a lack of intelligence on their part

VioletBeauregardeTheFirst · 03/12/2023 16:16

daisychain01 · 03/12/2023 05:06

This is my opinion but may be different to others.

Why should the person living with a debilitating condition have to explain themselves to anyone.

So not only do they have to deal with it, they also have to openly come out with all that and potentially expose themselves to a load of inept questioning. No way should they have to put themselves through that, in my view. And having to say "it's not contagious" I have no words.

my colleague at work has it and as far as I'm concerned they are like anyone else, just that they have a skin condition. It makes no difference to me or the rest of the team. We're all socially adept adults though!

Show quote history

I agree the OP shouldn't have to but she's asking for opinions on here about what she could do.

Many ignorant people think psoriasis is contagious. Or don't know what it is and jump to the worst conclusions.

I'm offering a suggestion of what might get that awkwardness out of the way so the OP can have a positive appointment with their client/customer.

MeinKraft · 03/12/2023 17:08

Thanks folks, I'm for the doctor tomorrow to see about the toe, although it's decided that after 6 months to unswell and go back to normal which is typical lol

YeahIsaidit · 03/12/2023 18:18

Not at all, at most I'd maybe think "gosh that looks painful I hope they're alright"