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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

honestly, would you think badly of me for this?

202 replies

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 22:43

just wondered would this honestly put you off, or make you think negatively at all?

Im in a profession where I see clients and I sit approx 1.5m meter away from them. But I have horrendous psoriasis which flares up and down and unfortunately right now is very much a flare up. Im covered all over my neck, scalp, ears, edge of my face and across my body with it. Its just the typical psoraisis plaques and it looks pretty awful. I've been under dermatology for years but am stuck between a rock and a hardplace with treatment- we have tried everything available topically and nothing controls it, but its not widespread enough to merit biologics etc. Phototherapy didnt helping either and can't be carried out over my scalp anyway because of my hair. The only thing that helps in the short term is oral steroids so I usually get prednisone to take. anyway, im digressing and ill probably make another thread about treatments etc, but ill get back to the original point of my thread now.

as a client, would this put you off seeing me? or would you honestly think anything negatively at all? im self conscious but thought it was something people would undoubtably notice but not say anything about but ive had quite a lot of stares and grossed out looks in public at the shops and ive had a few comments too unfortunately recently

it doesn't affect my ability to do my job and I usually sit about 1.5m from patients so near enough to for them to notice but its not actually near them IWSIM. and its not on my hands or arms.

would this put you off seeing me or make you think negatively about me? suppose I just wondered what people would honestly think (I promise im not going to get all offended if its not good)
Thanks x

OP posts:
pollymere · 04/12/2023 20:09

If it was particularly bad, I'd probably say what it is. I'm a curious soul so would probably be wondering. It wouldn't make me judge you as a business professional.

Loveaholidayor2 · 04/12/2023 20:11

I am on methotrexate for psoriasis arthritis, do you have any joint issues? I

eighbell · 04/12/2023 20:18

I wouldn’t be put off.

hope it gets better

Milkybarsareonmeeeee · 04/12/2023 20:26

Wouldn’t make a difference to me , I can understand you feeling self conscious though most people would .

Have you Telford treating it through diet ? For example Mediterranean, carnivore.
Also did you just use a lamp for therapy or did you use a sunbed .

VK456 · 04/12/2023 20:44

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. ☺️

Lifesingflowers · 04/12/2023 20:48

No I wouldn't either. But I must admit I am conscious about my appearance and wonder whether people judge me for it?

CatMummyOf3 · 04/12/2023 20:50

It would not have any impact on me, other than maybe (unspoken) sympathy if it appeared to be uncomfortable for you.

Your personality and ability in your work is far more important than a skin condition.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 04/12/2023 20:56

I don't know anyone with your condition, so not sure how noticeable it will be.

If it was me and it was very noticeable, I would tell them in advance that my condition was flaring up at the moment so that they know what it is and so they know to expect it.

TooShortToReachThatShelf · 04/12/2023 21:05

No, I wouldn't think negatively of you, nor would your skin condition put me off. I have bad Rosacea (my skin is clear but very red, which worsens when I'm warm. Lots of broken blood vessels too). When it was at its absolute worst, I had awful papules as well. It affected my self-esteem very badly. (I now wear colour corrector cream and full make-up).

Whenever I see anyone with any skin condition, I feel a lot of sympathy and empathy. One of my AC has terrible Eczema, all over their face (even eyelids, mouth, etc), neck, legs, arms and chest. It looks like bad scalding. I've bought creams to try to help, to no avail. I could cry for them, and I feel like that for anyone else who suffers like that. OP, I honestly feel for you x

Judecb · 04/12/2023 21:07

I also suffer with psoriasis and I know this time of year is the worst. Definitely DON'T feel self conscious about anything and continue your meetings as normal. The new topical creams have helped me (ask your doctor) and if you can, escape to the sun even for a few days (Morocco/ Egypt at this time of year). It's a horrible disease but stressing about things only makes it worse. Good luck.

MagicFarawayTea · 04/12/2023 21:22

Depends what your job is? Also what does IWSIM mean???

SoddingWeddings · 04/12/2023 21:31

MagicFarawayTea · 04/12/2023 21:22

Depends what your job is? Also what does IWSIM mean???

In what job would someone having psoriasis be unacceptable? I'm not talking if they are exposed to chemicals which may worsen their condition or similar but in what jobs would this really not be OK?

Mynaddmawr · 04/12/2023 21:57

Absolutely not. My mum has awful psoriasis and it really affects her self esteem, I think her biggest issue with it is that she feels people will perceive her as contagious in some way. I really feel for you and everybody who suffers with it! You would have my silent empathy but it wouldn't alter my perception of you one bit.

JDEE72 · 04/12/2023 22:15

No, but then I too have psoriasis, but not to your extent.
you shouldn’t have to worry about how it looks. You’re clean, and it’s not contagious.
it’s a them problem, not yours.

TinPanSally · 04/12/2023 22:28

Until this post (I have now looked it up) I wouldn’t have recognised psoriasis, and would be worried that you had something contagious, so would appreciate a very brief reassurance that it wasn’t. I wouldn’t mention it, but it would prey on my mind.

I hope you manage to find some relief for it soon.

TinPanSally · 04/12/2023 22:32

Sorry, if you had no need to touch me, then I wouldn’t be worried. I thought you mentioned that you had patients, so assumed you were taking bloods or something. I have just seen your clarification.

WibblyWobblyWabberWonk · 04/12/2023 23:33

Logically I know what psoriasis is, one of my best friends had it quite severely in school, and my niece has it. I know it's not catching or anything like that. And I absolutely would NOT stare, make comments etc. But yes, I do find it off putting. And that says way more about me and how shallow I am, than it does about you. Xx

AzraiL · 04/12/2023 23:46

I'd feel bad for you because I know it can cause pain and discomfort but I wouldn't be bothered by your appearance at all.

Beastieboys · 05/12/2023 00:10

It wouldn't bother me....40 yrs ago when I had my first daughter my mums neighbour came to see her when I got home from hospital. she had knit her some beautiful things and I could see she was desperate to have a cuddle so said go ahead . She picked her up and was overwhelmed,she was a straight talking no nonsense woman but she had tears in her eyes . She was plagued with horrendous psoriasis around her face and was often in a lot of pain with it and some ignorant people had been really rude to her and wouldn't let her hold their infants. This was the first time in years shed been allowed to hold a baby

Imperfectp3rf3ction · 05/12/2023 00:18

If it was appropriate for teens I would take my daughter especially to you she never sees many people with it she had it over 90% of her body and lost her. Bullied daily with it too.

Bec21 · 05/12/2023 12:08

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 23:17

I’m really keen to try methotrexate! I mentioned it but was told it wasn’t widespread enough for it as apparently it needs to cover almost all of the body for it 😩 I’ve heard so many good results about it though. Wondering if it’s possible to have it prescribed privately if I could see a private dermatologist? I’ve only ever been under NHS x

I'd push for Methotrexate. I have been on it for a few years now & can now use non-steroid cream for any flare ups.

Lo0opy · 05/12/2023 13:34

I'm so sorry about the pain you're going through with flare ups. I have eczema on my face, legs, hands and arms and it makes me so self conscious but honestly people treat me the same with or without. It feels unbearably painful, itchy, sore and weeping as the sufferer and like you're transformed, but actually on the outside people don't really care or notice, they just want to interact normally.

eastegg · 05/12/2023 13:39

I know we don’t know what OP does, but some of these responses are making me imagine a client in a prison cell charged with murder, being ‘distracted’ by the skin condition, or feeling ‘compassion’ about it. Not really what their mind will be on!

As I say, we don’t know what OP does. But there’s a strong chance the client is in some sort of bother. I would expect them to be focused on that.

Even in a more relaxed setting (therapist? Estate agent? Interior designer?) I definitely wouldn’t care. I’d just want your professional input.

Hope you get somewhere with treatment options OP.

Mumofsons87 · 06/12/2023 18:16

It would put me off if you are a dermatologist and I am seeing you to get treatment for my own psoriasis .