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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

honestly, would you think badly of me for this?

202 replies

snowsnowsnow1 · 02/12/2023 22:43

just wondered would this honestly put you off, or make you think negatively at all?

Im in a profession where I see clients and I sit approx 1.5m meter away from them. But I have horrendous psoriasis which flares up and down and unfortunately right now is very much a flare up. Im covered all over my neck, scalp, ears, edge of my face and across my body with it. Its just the typical psoraisis plaques and it looks pretty awful. I've been under dermatology for years but am stuck between a rock and a hardplace with treatment- we have tried everything available topically and nothing controls it, but its not widespread enough to merit biologics etc. Phototherapy didnt helping either and can't be carried out over my scalp anyway because of my hair. The only thing that helps in the short term is oral steroids so I usually get prednisone to take. anyway, im digressing and ill probably make another thread about treatments etc, but ill get back to the original point of my thread now.

as a client, would this put you off seeing me? or would you honestly think anything negatively at all? im self conscious but thought it was something people would undoubtably notice but not say anything about but ive had quite a lot of stares and grossed out looks in public at the shops and ive had a few comments too unfortunately recently

it doesn't affect my ability to do my job and I usually sit about 1.5m from patients so near enough to for them to notice but its not actually near them IWSIM. and its not on my hands or arms.

would this put you off seeing me or make you think negatively about me? suppose I just wondered what people would honestly think (I promise im not going to get all offended if its not good)
Thanks x

OP posts:
rebeccachoc · 03/12/2023 18:24

Wouldn't bother me one bit, you can't help it.

Edinvillian · 03/12/2023 18:28

Not at all but I grew up with my sister who has it quite badly. I don't tend to notice now.
My stepsons partner had it and got upset at our house one day as it was on his face. Being totally honest, I didn't even notice it until he got upset about it. I don't know if I'd have 'noticed' it if I wasn't so used to it.

OCDmama · 03/12/2023 21:21

No. I'd think how sore and horrible it must be for you, but that would be it.

It would have absolutely no bearing on our professional or even personal relationship.

Jewnicorn · 04/12/2023 17:35

Wouldn’t bother me at all. If I thought anything about it I’d probably feel a bit sorry for you as I have some patches of psoriasis and it’s uncomfortable at the best of times and painful at it’s worst so I’d probably assume you were sore but not in a pitying way (if that makes any sense at all)

Zoomattheinn · 04/12/2023 17:54

I, too, think referencing it would make it easier for everyone. Just a “as you can see I have a skin condition which is being treated. It’s not in any way contagious or infectious. It’s a little bit worse at the moment but it does not affect my work in any way. Shall we get started?”

Poppysmom22 · 04/12/2023 18:14

My hubby has it and I have it in my hair which is thankfully easy to hide. I wouldn't think badly of you but I would have sympathy for you as I know how difficult it can be to manage and how sore it feels sometimes

H007 · 04/12/2023 18:16

It wouldn’t put me off, I’d just feel for you.

Beautiful3 · 04/12/2023 18:16

My friend managed to clear hers by using a sun bed. It was accidental. Now she uses a uv light.

NZBride · 04/12/2023 18:18

Not at all - it’s a skin condition that you can’t help! My husband has it so I do understand your discomfort.

StoatofDisarray · 04/12/2023 18:36

No, it absolutely wouldn't put me off and I would feel sorry for you and admire your bravery for carrying on.

fetchacloth · 04/12/2023 18:37

ANightingale · 02/12/2023 22:47

No, I wouldn't think very much about it. My sister has a skin condition that affects her hands and arms, making them raw and weeping when she has a flare up - skin conditions aren't that uncommon, sadly.

I have a similar condition to your sister that tends to flare up during really cold or very hot spells of weather. My hands and arms are mainly affected, but I've found if I don't obsess about it too much, no-one else bothers either. Certainly no-one comments on it.

exaltedwombat · 04/12/2023 18:48

Wouldn't worry me. Might worry some people.

Why has this question arisen? Has your employer suggested you change your role?

Skyelils · 04/12/2023 18:49

It wouldn’t put me off at all I would think myself lucky it wasn’t me that had to suffer with it. Your still a person with feelings and capabilities of doing your job so if they are then they very shallow and unkind

JenniferJuniper80 · 04/12/2023 18:51

It really wouldn't put me off. But I got a comment deleted for having an opinion so what the hell do I know!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/12/2023 18:54

MeinKraft · 02/12/2023 23:11

I wouldn't, but I have it too. I can just about cover or control it everywhere but my ears, it's completely out of control in my ears for some reason. I know it must look gross.

As an aside, for anyone with psoriasis, one of my toes has swollen up like a sausage this last few months. Does this mean what I think it means Sad

Yes, it does.

Rheumatology referral asap.

Georgyporky · 04/12/2023 18:59

There are people out there (not on MN, of course) who have no knowledge of this condition & would be very put off by seeing it.
Would it be feasible to tell people that it's not catching, & not to be worried about it ?

Su55anr · 04/12/2023 19:12

Hi, I had psoriasis on my face, literally forehead, nose & cheeks. I looked dreadful. Felt very self conscious had to start wearing light coloured tops to not show up all the plaque bits falling off. Tried lots of meds, creams then Methatrexate which was a total game changer for me. In 3 weeks I’d say about 95% was gone. Thats 3 yrs ago, have reduced dose in last year & now on half dose but psoriasis isn’t back

Loriirish84 · 04/12/2023 19:22

OK I signed up just for this..
No i wouldn't think badly of you, son is 12 and has had eczema since birth..he suffers badly with it. Creams don't work, drs tried loads nothing works. He is bullied daily for this, attacked daily for it, called names, called a disease. Affects his neck, face, hands as all on show. Winter is the worst as really makes it bad. He's been given looks by adults when we're out
I'm at the stage now, where I will throw hands. You are an adult staring and whispering about a child, like what is wrong with you.

If we were all the same height size Weight how boring would it be. Some of us have skin conditions, different colour skin, different colour hair.

Kids are one thing like primary young
. Teenagers are just down right nasty ( in groups when act all big) and some adults are just vile.

I would base my opinion of you based on the job your doing for me. That's it.

Everyone is different in so may ways. So I don't get why some people are just so damn nasty. We all bleed red, all have skin, hair, nails. Do we not have bigger things to deal with ? Then to make someone feel so badly because they have a skin condition.

Would they do it a cancer patient ? No so let's stop.

I'm sure you are a lovely beautiful lady, so don't let anyone pull you down because they have a nasty and negative attitude. X

Pinkfluff76 · 04/12/2023 19:23

Wouldn’t put me off OP. You need to look at your gut health. That’s where it all starts. Read the book The Good Skin Solution by Shann Nix Jones. Good luck

Differentstarts · 04/12/2023 19:26

Psoriasis is quite a common condition so I think most people know what it is and wouldn't think anything of it

Temporaryname158 · 04/12/2023 19:31

I absolutely wouldn’t have any negative thoughts about you.

you keep mentioning how far away you sit, but if we were on the bus and you were directly next to me, I also wouldn’t feel any negative thoughts towards you. The distance doesn’t make a difference to me, and I’d have no concerns.

if anything id potentially have a passing thought of “oh, that lady has psoriasis” and if it looked painful “oh I hope that isn’t too uncomfortable for her, that looks painful”

but nothing more than that

MondayBags678 · 04/12/2023 19:34

No I wouldn’t be bothered by it at all!
If you think people are looking, would you feel comfortable to explain about what it is? Maybe some people won’t know/understand and just curious?

CrapGoat · 04/12/2023 19:39

No, not at all on both counts. But then my DP has psoriasis and I regularly let her shag my brains out so.... Wink

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 04/12/2023 19:53

I wouldnt be bothered one bit about anyone with psoriasis but I know how painful it can be. Have you looked into intermittant fasting to help manage your psoriasis? It helps with healing and reduces inflammation.
https://aestheticsjournal.com/news/research-shows-link-between-fasting-and-psoriasis

Aesthetics Journal

The Aesthetics website incorporates a whole host of new interactive features and resources to support you in your aesthetics practice.

https://aestheticsjournal.com/news/research-shows-link-between-fasting-and-psoriasis

Thirtyandflailing · 04/12/2023 19:55

It absolutely wouldn’t bother me, people come in all shapes/sizes etc and skin conditions are really common, I have a relative with severe psoriasis in her hair etc and I braid it for her, doesn’t bother me at all x