Neighbours banging wall at night

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Just looking for opinions on this, I don’t think we are in the wrong but I’m struggling to understand why neighbours are acting this way.

My 16 month old is going through a bad sleep regression and teething. It means 2am and we are awake with lots of tears. I go straight in and try to calm things down but it can take a while at the minute so it might go on for about 30 minutes and worst case scenario an hour on and off.

im trying everything I can to settle them but now my neighbours have started banging the wall, I presume to let us know they have been woken. Which I understand is frustrating but I’m not sure what they are wanting to achieve.

are they just horrible people, should I say something? They haven’t liked us since we moved in due to Diy during the day in the first month we moved however not during unsociable hours.

aibu to be annoyed or are they?

😂😂😂😂😂

Talk me through this one as I’m intrigued by the logic. Environmental health come out, what do you envisage they do exactly? 😂

some replies are wild but just to clarify my child gets pain relief when needed, cuddled, loved and every attempt is made to soothe them as quickly as I can. They do not cry for an hour non stop but can take a while to settle back into a sleep. But things have been better the past few days.

They are not unreasonable people to be frustrated at the disturbance but they are absolutely unreasonable people to not be able to use their big boy and girl voices to come over and discuss it with you like adults. Especially as parents themselves, this pass agg behaviour is what drags it over into twat territory. Best way to challenge this is to call it out directly but politely. Go speak to them face to face, show them the maturity they’re unable to demonstrate, tell them you have noticed the banging and would like to discuss practical solutions (even better if you come having already created a resolution eg moving kiddo to another room at night). Absolutely do not bring smoothing over gifts until they learn to vocalise their frustrations instead of communicating like neanderthals!
Hope the tooth nightmares are over soon x

You may think it’s funny, I’m talking from experience, neighbours complained about another neighbour who’s baby cried early hours of the morning and they got a warning about it and were told to keep the baby quiet!!

@Bertiesmum3 I think on you're talking absolute bullshit!

Well I would love the noise officer to come round and help all parents to ‘stop their baby crying’.

If there was a way guaranteed to stop a baby crying then my life as a parent to a baby would have been sooooo much easier. Is it teeth? Is it hunger? Is it fear? Is it over tiredness? Is it illness? Is it needing a poo? Wind? Reflux? General grumpiness?

They’re just horrible people. I’d ignore it to be honest, if they have an issue they should talk to your not result to such childish behaviour. It’s a baby for crying out loud, they cry when they’re teething it’s temporary they just need to get over it.

I certainly wouldn’t be taking a baby to any other room, that’s counter productive, and if like mine he’d then see that as play time and we’d be up for hours. I also wouldn’t be giving the neighbours presents either. They sound awful. Carry on doing what your doing and ignore their existence, if they speak to you I’d just say, unfortunately it something all babies go through, your not leaving your baby to cry but as their in pain it’s taking a while to soothe them, and then banging on the wall isn’t helping settle your baby. If they start arguing I’d just walk away from them, I’d also be tempted to record that whole conversation in case they start getting more petty, I’d be keeping records of everything just in case.

I think be nice.
You know, it's your baby, it's you creating noise with DIY. And noise can be really tough especially if you are neurodiverse.

I think go in with the best assumptions, and intentions. You are effecting their life negatively. And I think you need to own and respect that.

So yeah, I think you should have a conversation with them and say you've heard them banging on the wall and you understand the sound is probably the cause. It doesn't work well to be defensive. It works well to validate their experience.

If you explain your situation not as an excuse but as a reason. Ie baby is teething and you've moved in so you need to do DIY. If you mention you're trying to be as considerate as you can, but if you know there's a different DIY time that effects them less you'd be up for that.
You can't control your baby crying and you can't control when. But you and they can both control where you are. Ie you can put your baby in a room further away. You can get soundproofing. They too can maybe sleep in a room further away from the joining wall.

My parents turned the house into a b and b when I was growing up, and then my room was right next to a guests room.
The guests and me could hear eachother so they added some sound proofing (very kind parents). Tbh i could still hear, but atleast it was an attempt.
You can get sound attenuating things you can stick on a wall too.

There's only so much you can actually do. But I think part of the issue will be your neighbours feeling frustration and dispair, awkward to say anything and not feeling considered.

If they know you're trying your best to be as considerate as you can. Maybe they will be supportive. Heck they may have baby solution advice, help with your DIY, offer to baby sit later on.

Its always worth having a good relationship with neighbours. It's nice to get on with people. I think if you lead with you would really like to have a good relationship with them and explain and trouble shoot you should be fine.

In our old house, before we had DS, the neighbours came round and apologised for the noise their two sons were making running up and down the landing. I hadn't noticed much in the way of unusual noise, and said that but also thanked them for as it felt like it was a considerate thing to do.

We have DS now, he's autistic, has had horrendous meltdowns with lots of screaming and yelling. I went and had a chat with our current neighbours to apologise for the noise and reassure them we were trying to deal with it. They were very nice about it (to my face at least!)

So in my experience, apologising is a nice gesture and acknowledges you're aware of the impact on them.

Absolutely not!!
im talking about local Housing Association, yes they took action against a mother who’s baby cried in the early hours consistently!!

That is absolutely not what it is for and the same reason GPs simply do not throw anti biotics at people any more !

Eh? Of course Calpol is for teething pain, or any other pain.

Antibiotics are not handed out willy nilly because 1) it’s often a virus so they won’t help anyway and 2) too many antibiotics around creates antibiotic resistant bacteria. Neither of these apply to giving Calpol for teething pain. There is no “Calpol resistance” problem.

Do you not give pain medication when your child is in pain?

What are you talking about

Of course Calpol should be given for teething pain. It has nothing to do with GP's not giving out antibiotics!

100% part of the problem. Pump them full of medication. That'll help

You'd rather leave a teething child to suffer than give him or her Calpol? Of course painkillers will bloody help!

Do you take painkillers? Fine if you want to be a martyr and never take painkillers but leaving a child to suffer is cruel.

MN is mad sometimes. OP have a lovely Christmas with your little one.

Yeah totally