Neighbours banging wall at night

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Just looking for opinions on this, I don’t think we are in the wrong but I’m struggling to understand why neighbours are acting this way.

My 16 month old is going through a bad sleep regression and teething. It means 2am and we are awake with lots of tears. I go straight in and try to calm things down but it can take a while at the minute so it might go on for about 30 minutes and worst case scenario an hour on and off.

im trying everything I can to settle them but now my neighbours have started banging the wall, I presume to let us know they have been woken. Which I understand is frustrating but I’m not sure what they are wanting to achieve.

are they just horrible people, should I say something? They haven’t liked us since we moved in due to Diy during the day in the first month we moved however not during unsociable hours.

aibu to be annoyed or are they?

Yes this

What a weird thing to say….babies wake up and cry. Calpol doesn’t make babies sleep.

This is why I couldn’t go back to living in a terrace I had such a miserable time. It’s just not right being creamed in so tight that normal human noises are enough to disturb strangers. I hope Labour do something about this sort of thing when they get in.

I don’t think little babies are manipulative enough to cry, for you to take her into a different room. I’d definitely take her downstairs as it isn’t fair to your neighbours.

At the same time, them banging isn’t helpful, kind, or mature. They’re just adding to your troubles in that situation.

What is labour going to do about millions of terraced houses, and lack of soundproofing and converted flats are even worse? I can give you the answer already, which is nothing. You don't live in the real world.

You're not doing it deliberately, it's a baby. They clearly have no understanding or experience of babies but surely common sense should tell you banging on the wall won't help? I wouldn't be moving rooms or bringing them bloody gifts either, a little Compassion wouldn't go amiss. I would talk to them about it if you see them in passing though, explain its babies way of communicating and it's gonna happen now and then with sleep regressions etc.

Why not throw in a nip of whisky too. Well seen the only way you can get a child to sleep is by pumping them full of crap

Of course it does if the reason they are not sleeping is because of pain. OP says her DC is waking (partly) due to teething.

But the OP wasn't asking for parenting advice about settling her child, hence me and many others not offering any (though she's had some from other posters).

What she asked was "are they just horrible people, should I say something?" and "aibu to be annoyed or are they?". And posters like me who've been on the other side of the wall are answering those questions. Her first OP didn't really seem to have any insight into WHY they might be banging on the wall, pointless as that might be. Hence trying to present that perspective, since she asked for it.

Our neighbours are saints and maintain they can’t hear the baby even when I am sure they can (we can hear them flush the toilet so they can hear a baby). Babies are babies. Don’t get hung up on it.

if it was summer I would advocate opening the window so they can hear the baby better.

or leaving a baby monitor on in your bedroom so they can hear the crying in stereo.

or both.

its just babies. Nothing you can do. Focus on a long term good sleep routine. Don’t take your baby to a different room or downstairs to settle if that is not what you want to be doing long term.

All the people saying they wouldn't be moving rooms with the baby, tell me why not making tweaks to your routine trumps your neighbours not literally being tortured and subsequently functioning at far lower levels. Just think for a second about those neighbours trying to explain to their bosses why they've made yet another mistake at work, and indeed to parents and patients if they teach children or work frontline in healthcare. Or have to cancel a patient's discharge tribunal, or not appear to defend a client in court because they've had to take a sick day due to sleep deprivation. Or have to go through the HR process because they've taken too many sick days due to sleep deprivation and now fear disciplinary action. Or have to cancel yet another engagement with a friend due to exhaustion, and fear the weakening of such friendships as their fatigue deepens. Or nearly crash their car into you and your baby due to driving when tired.

Sleep deprivation is a disabling health issue. Every one of you here saying "like fuck would I move baby" is choosing to disable your neighbours. I can only hope and pray your children don't grow up to be so staggeringly, antisocially myopic.

They could retrofit all non soundproofed homes with soundproofing, like already exists in much of Europe. They won't though.

Aren't you lovely? I hope you wouldn't expect the neighbours to be considerate of the baby's nap times in that case

I don't have children so this is a genuine question - they OP says the baby is teething so why wouldn't you give him or her Calpol? Surely if the kid isn't in pain he or she is more likely to go back to sleep quicker

For the same reason you don’t pump yourself full of Medication when you have a cold! Honestly what an insanely naive remark. Does paracetamol help you sleep?!

No of course I wouldn’t expect anybody to be considerate of the baby and his nap. I’m not 😂 baby down. Vacuum on 😂

If I have a headache or a sore throat then paracetamol or ibuprofen helps me sleep. Same way as it helps a baby with teething pain sleep, by stopping the pain.

Some are though! I've seen posts on here and thought 'are people really like that?!?'

Well yes, if I'm in pain or not feeling well of course it helps me sleep 🙄

You have my full sympathy. I lived in a flat for the first three years of my eldest son's life. The people below complained about his crying. Then when he started to walk, he had only to run across the floor for them to bang on the ceiling. She seemed to think that as her grandchild could be quiet whilst visiting, he should be quiet all the time. I mentioned what it was like to my Mum who said well just try to keep him quiet until she came round and he ran across the room to her and up she came to complain. Now a middle aged couple lived in the flat before me and she used to say to them that she could tell when they were in as she could here them walking about. Just try to hang on in there. It will ease. Tell them to take a leap and if it continues threaten them with reporting them for intimidation

Are you exhausted because your baby is keeping you up at night? Do you have to work the next day?

I’d start to get annoyed if I was being kept awake every night by a baby. I probably wouldn’t do anything about it like banging on the wall but I’d still be really cross. Perhaps they have a little less self control. Can you move the baby to somewhere where they aren’t on an adjoining wall with what I’m assuming is your neighbours’ bedroom?

Everyone should take medication when they’ve got a cold. Thats what it’s for.

If the baby is in pain then Calpol will help and help the baby sleep. Why would you want the baby to be in pain when it doesn’t need to be? How cruel.

Id advise them to wear ear defenders or such like.

I have misophonia and sensory issues and that's what I do when "normal" noises get to me.

Don't offer to buy them though. They don't deserve that for behaving like twats.

Depends what kind of people they are, they’ve got every right to report you to environmental authorities for noise issues