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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My (so called) friend is telling outrageous lies about me!

223 replies

wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:27

Absolutely horrified! Just found out that someone considered a real longtime friend, has been texting people to ask if they've heard the rumour that I'm sleeping with a colleague (high profile as he's the CEO of a very well known company).

A close friend today showed me the messages. Couldn't believe it.

This is absolutely fiction. I barely know this man.

What on earth do I do how? I'm horrid and shocked.

This woman had text me today about a play date with our doggies!

OP posts:
Original poster
wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:30

wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:27

Absolutely horrified! Just found out that someone considered a real longtime friend, has been texting people to ask if they've heard the rumour that I'm sleeping with a colleague (high profile as he's the CEO of a very well known company).

A close friend today showed me the messages. Couldn't believe it.

This is absolutely fiction. I barely know this man.

What on earth do I do how? I'm horrid and shocked.

This woman had text me today about a play date with our doggies!

^^horrified and shocked, obviously!

OP posts:
Dogsitterwoes · 02/12/2023 08:31

Cancel the dog thing today while you think about what to do.

Does she work at the same company as you?

Original poster
wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:32

Dogsitterwoes · 02/12/2023 08:31

Cancel the dog thing today while you think about what to do.

Does she work at the same company as you?

Nope! That's what makes it even more bizarre.

OP posts:
CherryBlossom321 · 02/12/2023 08:32

Get screenshots as that’s libellous.

ScarlettSunset · 02/12/2023 08:34

Was she spreading the rumour on purpose or trying to find out if it was true? Or whether other people were talking about you? Although she obviously could have asked you! It's a bit of a reach but I'm trying to think if there could have been any non nasty reasons for it.

I have a family member who spreads dreadful lies about me. It sucks. I try to avoid them now.

If your friend can't come up with an reasonable explanation for why they did that, I think you should steer clear of them if possible as you'll never be able to trust them not to do similar again.

Freakinfraser · 02/12/2023 08:36

Well she’s not actually lying about you, she’s asking if they have heard a rumour. Why don’t you be an adult about it, and just say heard you’ve been asking if there is a rumour about me sleeping with x, which as you know is ridiculous, hardly know him, where did you hear it.

user1471538283 · 02/12/2023 08:36

I would send this to your "friend" and insist on an explanation.

Some people are compulsive liars or do it for attention.

I would then end the friendship.

MissHavershamReturns · 02/12/2023 08:36

I would personally go on the dog walk and in a light way say oh I heard from someone a few people thought I might be into Mike (whatever CEO is called). Just so you know I’m not and I would really appreciate if you could tell anyone who mentions this rumour that it isn’t true as I’m a bit miffed about it.

Then I would fade her out. Low drama, but with directly warning her you know.

Chocoswirl · 02/12/2023 08:41

I would do a bit of detective work. Find out who else has heard this ‘rumour’ and where it came from. See if it was her who started it, or if she’s just the latest to hear.

Draoicht · 02/12/2023 08:41

Freakinfraser · 02/12/2023 08:36

Well she’s not actually lying about you, she’s asking if they have heard a rumour. Why don’t you be an adult about it, and just say heard you’ve been asking if there is a rumour about me sleeping with x, which as you know is ridiculous, hardly know him, where did you hear it.

Yes. It’s possible, presumably, that there IS a rumour doing the rounds about you, and that she didn’t start it, is wary of asking you directly for fear of your reaction, hence asking others?

I mean, it’s a silly teenage thing to be doing, but someone who texts about a ‘doggy playdate’ doesn’t sound the sharpest knife in the drawer…

Original poster
wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:41

I actually misquoted. She's been asking people if they'd heard that I'd slept with CEO!

Her extra words "omg. Did you hear WTAFLUV and Mr CEO apparently had sex"z

I am absolutely baffled.

OP posts:
Original poster
wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:41

wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:41

I actually misquoted. She's been asking people if they'd heard that I'd slept with CEO!

Her extra words "omg. Did you hear WTAFLUV and Mr CEO apparently had sex"z

I am absolutely baffled.

Bloody hell. EXACT words.

OP posts:
Original poster
wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:46

There is absolutely no rumour going around. She has completely plucked this from thin air.

OP posts:
cheddercherry · 02/12/2023 08:46

Just text or ring her and explain that it’s ridiculous and that you’re hurt she’d a) think it was true and b) be so childish as to be actively spreading the gossip around without even coming to you to discuss it.

People’s actions have consequences and she needs to know she’s out of order.

MsChatterbox · 02/12/2023 08:47

I wouldn't consider her a close friend anymore. She should be talking to you about that and the correcting anyone that mentions it to her. She is a gossip and you can't trust her.

CreationNat1on · 02/12/2023 08:50

I think it's time to friend dump....... Maybe let her know that it's been brought to your attention that she has been unfairly gossiping about you, you are disappointed and feel the friendship is now damaged.

She is spreading misinformation about you, she is not a friend. The doggy play date, is to pump u for info.

itsmylife7 · 02/12/2023 08:53

Just send her the screenshot and see what her response is.

For me the friendship would be over...instantly.

ApolloandDaphne · 02/12/2023 08:57

You really need to confront her about this before it gets out of hand.

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 02/12/2023 08:58

I wouldn't send the screenshot because you'll be dropping the friend that showed you in it.

Just tell her you know she's spreading rumours about you and does she want to explain herself.

Then dump.

greyhairnomore · 02/12/2023 08:59

Ask her what she thinks she's doing.

Picturequestion · 02/12/2023 09:03

I agree that you need to contact her asap. Do it in a calm way to give you the best chance of getting information about who is saying this and so she can help you to put people right. I would keep the ‘friendship’ going until this rumour has been quashed and then slowly fade her. Don’t give her any personal information but listen and listen and empathise so you have as much info about her as you can get. Not to do anything with it but the more you know about her, the less chance she will repeat this.

SisterhoodNotCisterhood · 02/12/2023 09:05

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 02/12/2023 08:58

I wouldn't send the screenshot because you'll be dropping the friend that showed you in it.

Just tell her you know she's spreading rumours about you and does she want to explain herself.

Then dump.

I'd check with the friend in case they're willing to bomb the friendship too because if a 'friend' was making wild things up about a mutual friend like that and gossiping for attention I would want to steer clear of them too because it could be me too.

BubbleBubbleBubbleBubblePop · 02/12/2023 09:07

I'd screenshot the messages and send them to her, then block her.

Rewis · 02/12/2023 09:11

Just send her a message "what are you playing at? Of course I'm not sleeping with the CEO. Why would you spread such a ridiculous and hurtful rumour about me?"

widowtwankywashroom · 02/12/2023 09:18

Laugh it off??
Or go along with it, yes we're having amazing sex on the desk!

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