Page 2 | My (so called) friend is telling outrageous lies about me!

Rocksonabeach · 02/12/2023 09:18

wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:27

Absolutely horrified! Just found out that someone considered a real longtime friend, has been texting people to ask if they've heard the rumour that I'm sleeping with a colleague (high profile as he's the CEO of a very well known company).

A close friend today showed me the messages. Couldn't believe it.

This is absolutely fiction. I barely know this man.

What on earth do I do how? I'm horrid and shocked.

This woman had text me today about a play date with our doggies!

Get close friend to screen shot and forward messages and then contact the police - then tell all mutual friends - I understand rumours are circulating about x - this is totally not only true abut I barely know him. I’m disgusted by these malicious messages especially as I know who is sending them. I have reported the messages and who they originating from to the police as clearly this person is just vile.

as my friends please close down or screenshot and further messages and I will pass this information to the police.

forward your ‘friends message’ back to her and said ‘why did you send this to Jenny this morning’ you have any idea what you have done to me, my reputation, his etc why would you do this to a stranger never mind a so called friend? It’s illegal and it’s just vile. Your messages have already been reported to the police and your actions. Just why would you do this? It goes beyond bullying?

but I’m highly confrontational about things like this and I would totally bring it on

GreatGateauxsby · 02/12/2023 09:18

Personally I'd go on the dog walk look her in the eyes and say why have you been asking people if they have heard I slept with X?

Then say absolutely nothing while she explains / wants to curl up and die.

IfAIwasfedMN · 02/12/2023 09:21

I'd say that's enough. Friend of mine pretended she was on "suicide watch" because of me; I had asked 4 people if they knew where she was as she had been out the night before with someone notorious for leaving people in town without warning and my friend wasn't answering a call we had planned. I certainly never mentioned suicide but was worried whether she got home as she had also recently shared she had been attacked in town by a man. What really hurt was that she is well aware my best friend committed suicide a few months ago. She used it to get the limelight on her and make me out to be crazy at the same time and threw in a few other insults about how I look along the way. She's apparently been gossiping about me since to friends too.
OP if someone is willing to go to such lengths to paint a long term friend as a crazy person, do yourself a favour and remove them as a friend. The trash can take itself out, as they say.

CaroleSinger · 02/12/2023 09:25

This woman clearly isn't your friend. She wouldn't be texting things like that behind your back if she was. I would be cancelling the dog meeting then ignoring all future contact, then when she asks what's wrong you tell her that you've seen the texts she's been sending people about you having sex with the CEO.

GrumpyOldCrone · 02/12/2023 09:38

I think these kinds of rumours are incredibly sexist and damaging. I would definitely drop the ‘friend’. I don’t know if there’s anything you can do about the rumour she’s spreading, except tell anyone who asks that it’s not true.

scrunch22 · 02/12/2023 09:46

Organise the dog play date for today, confront her face to face so she can't wiggle out of it. Ask her what the hell she's playing at. After leaving, block and ignore

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 02/12/2023 09:49

I'd go on the dog walk and ask her face to face.

grayhairdontcare · 02/12/2023 09:49

"Sorry. I'm unavailable for the dog walk.
I've been told someone has been asking people if they knew that I had been having sex with my CEO .
I'm spending the next few hour's getting to the bottom of this malicious, career damaging rumour.
I will give you a call later on when I've sorted this out"

Codlingmoths · 02/12/2023 09:50

You could be really direct, phone and say . ‘I don’t think a dog play date is a good idea, you’d probably tell people I’m sleeping with your dog. ‘ then hang up because really that conversation finishes itself.

FreshWinterMorning · 02/12/2023 09:53

grayhairdontcare · 02/12/2023 09:49

"Sorry. I'm unavailable for the dog walk.
I've been told someone has been asking people if they knew that I had been having sex with my CEO .
I'm spending the next few hour's getting to the bottom of this malicious, career damaging rumour.
I will give you a call later on when I've sorted this out"

This. I would also add on to 'when I've sorted this out;'^ 'I am contacting a solicitor about this, and will be taking legal action.'@wtafluv ..

CumbrianYorkshireHybrid · 02/12/2023 10:05

I'd say, 'Sorry, I'm busy. I have an appointment at the police station this afternoon with my CEO. Someone has been spreading lies concerning us both. He is keen to report and pursue the matter because they were stupid enough to write libellous allegations in text messages.'
Then let her stew...

Uncooperativefingers · 02/12/2023 10:05

How close are you? If she's supposes to be a long term good friend, I'd probably confront.

If she is more of a friendly acquaintance that you know through the dogs or something, I'd text her acting all concerned saying "I hope you are OK, I've been told about rumours that you are sleeping with x. Just wanted to let you know because I thought it was probably bollocks" Then slow fade her out. That'll get her thinking!

If you are brave enough to meet up and do it f2f even better, but I'd be too nervous and fluff it up

willWillSmithsmith · 02/12/2023 10:14

I’d take a shot of the text and send it to her as your reply to the dog play date, with a row of question marks and nothing else.

ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy · 02/12/2023 10:14

I'd be tempted to send: I can't come on the dog walk, I'm in bed with my CEO 😉

1983Louise · 02/12/2023 10:18

Just ring her, we used to do that in the good old days, usually sorts the problem out..............

TheWonderSpot · 02/12/2023 10:23

OP there doesn't seem much doubt here. Your friend is at best malicious, at worst batshit. Probably both. Confront her, and then drop her.

MermaidEyes · 02/12/2023 10:23

CumbrianYorkshireHybrid · 02/12/2023 10:05

I'd say, 'Sorry, I'm busy. I have an appointment at the police station this afternoon with my CEO. Someone has been spreading lies concerning us both. He is keen to report and pursue the matter because they were stupid enough to write libellous allegations in text messages.'
Then let her stew...

Haha I love this one. Karma.

Spinet · 02/12/2023 10:25

If one of my long term friends did this I would wonder if they had a brain tumor or early onset dementia. I'm not joking, is she ok? Is this something she would do normally??

Either way I'd confront but what she's like usually would determine whether I said 'um have you seen a doctor?' or 'what the fuck are you doing stop it'

OnionOnionH · 02/12/2023 10:26

She sounds weird AF and I’d be giving her a wide berth from now on. Even if she’d heard this rumour, and or knew it to be true a decent friend, or human being for that matter wouldn't be circulating it. Drop her and no more dog walking.

LaurieStrode · 02/12/2023 10:27

Why not just call her??

Anisette · 02/12/2023 10:28

CumbrianYorkshireHybrid · 02/12/2023 10:05

I'd say, 'Sorry, I'm busy. I have an appointment at the police station this afternoon with my CEO. Someone has been spreading lies concerning us both. He is keen to report and pursue the matter because they were stupid enough to write libellous allegations in text messages.'
Then let her stew...

The problem with that is that she's likely to know the police wouldn't get involved in libel. Maybe change the police station to solicitors?

Fionaville · 02/12/2023 10:29

CumbrianYorkshireHybrid · 02/12/2023 10:05

I'd say, 'Sorry, I'm busy. I have an appointment at the police station this afternoon with my CEO. Someone has been spreading lies concerning us both. He is keen to report and pursue the matter because they were stupid enough to write libellous allegations in text messages.'
Then let her stew...

This! She will shit herself.
There are some very strange people in the world, who appear normal but aren't. They often have warped reasons for doing these things and definitely have issues. Perhaps she wants to get closer to you and be the one who comforts you in the fall out. Or maybe she just enjoys the thrill of messing with your life, being friendly to your face and not getting caught.
Stay away forever, but definitely tell her the police are investigating and see how she reacts. Before you tell her you know.

Biker47 · 02/12/2023 10:30

Rocksonabeach · 02/12/2023 09:18

Get close friend to screen shot and forward messages and then contact the police - then tell all mutual friends - I understand rumours are circulating about x - this is totally not only true abut I barely know him. I’m disgusted by these malicious messages especially as I know who is sending them. I have reported the messages and who they originating from to the police as clearly this person is just vile.

as my friends please close down or screenshot and further messages and I will pass this information to the police.

forward your ‘friends message’ back to her and said ‘why did you send this to Jenny this morning’ you have any idea what you have done to me, my reputation, his etc why would you do this to a stranger never mind a so called friend? It’s illegal and it’s just vile. Your messages have already been reported to the police and your actions. Just why would you do this? It goes beyond bullying?

but I’m highly confrontational about things like this and I would totally bring it on

Show quote history

Nothing to do with the police. Wish people on here stop advising going to the police for the most ridiculous of things.

BetterWithPockets · 02/12/2023 10:34

I’d be fuming in your shoes, OP. And upset. I’d definitely call her out on her lies — not face to face as that could be awkward for you as well as her — but I’d text her saying something along the lines of I thought you were a friend but normally friends don’t spread malicious rumours about other friends. I’d include a screenshot of the message (crop it so it’s not obvious who shared it with you) and say I’m considering reporting to the police…
What a completely bizarre and two-faced thing to do…

IncompleteSenten · 02/12/2023 10:34

I agree with pp that it would shit her up if you cancelled the dog walk and told her it's because your boss has been informed of libellous (slanderous? Whichever is the one in writing) rumours circulating about him and you and he wants you to accompany him to see his solicitor to get legal advice on the next steps he will be taking.