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AIBU?

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Original poster

My (so called) friend is telling outrageous lies about me!

223 replies

wtafluv · 02/12/2023 08:27

Absolutely horrified! Just found out that someone considered a real longtime friend, has been texting people to ask if they've heard the rumour that I'm sleeping with a colleague (high profile as he's the CEO of a very well known company).

A close friend today showed me the messages. Couldn't believe it.

This is absolutely fiction. I barely know this man.

What on earth do I do how? I'm horrid and shocked.

This woman had text me today about a play date with our doggies!

OP posts:
BetterWithPockets · 02/12/2023 10:36

Biker47 · 02/12/2023 10:30

Nothing to do with the police. Wish people on here stop advising going to the police for the most ridiculous of things.

Show quote history

But slander and libel are both criminal offences so perfectly within police remit. When a neighbour was spreading nasty rumours about my brother, he contacted the police and police went to neighbour’s house and cautioned him.

MsRosley · 02/12/2023 10:36

She's not a friend, she's an enemy.

andyourpointiswhat · 02/12/2023 10:42

I have got to the point in my life where I don’t just let things slide. I would do a group text to anyone you think she has contacted screenshotting her comment and clarifying “hey, I believe x has sent this message to you, don’t know why she seems to have gone batshit crazy but just for the record it is not only untrue it is obviously libellous. I am currently taking legal advice about that so please don’t believe her lies.” Other than that stop any contact with her.

AdultLounge · 02/12/2023 10:44

Omg. What a cow!!! I'd want to slap her so hard!

What a betrayal! Someone you thought was a friend saying shit like that about you.

I'd still go on the dog walk. I'd suggest driving in my car, then drive to a secluded forest.

Keeping my cool and acting normal.

Then in the middle of the forest I'd stop, change my demeanour and ask why she was spreading untied gossip about me.

It would Scare. The. Shit. Out of her.

Wouldn't stop eye contact, stare into her eyes and keep asking. Why?

If she denies it I'd tell that you know it was her as all YOUR friends have forwarded the messages she's been sending.

I know it's only one friend but she won't know that.

Then I'd tel her to not fuck with me again and leave her there, in the middle of the fucking forest to walk home!

Although I'd make sure she had phone signal.

Then I'd block the bitch from my life and make sure EVERYONE knew what she did!

Zonder · 02/12/2023 10:45

Freakinfraser · 02/12/2023 08:36

Well she’s not actually lying about you, she’s asking if they have heard a rumour. Why don’t you be an adult about it, and just say heard you’ve been asking if there is a rumour about me sleeping with x, which as you know is ridiculous, hardly know him, where did you hear it.

This. Just meet her, wait til you're in a public place like a cafe at the end, then tell her you know and ask her to stop. Then walk away.

Vinrouge4 · 02/12/2023 10:46

If this is true why don't you just confront her?

TheClitterati · 02/12/2023 10:48

Outrageous- go on dog walk & ask her why she texted the other woman about you face to face.

Bollindger · 02/12/2023 10:50

I think I was about 25 when friends told me about a friend who claimed we slept together and were dating...
He walked into a pub, there were about 10 others of our group at the bar, I was annoyed he had lied....
Hey Jack when did we have sex?
Where was it as I forgot!
Oh and what time and place as I am sorry worried about my memory loss!
If I was asleep then that is nasty...
You have one choice say your a liar, or I will continue..
Jack hing is hrad and admitted to the lie...
Moral call them out....

ActDottie · 02/12/2023 10:51

MissHavershamReturns · 02/12/2023 08:36

I would personally go on the dog walk and in a light way say oh I heard from someone a few people thought I might be into Mike (whatever CEO is called). Just so you know I’m not and I would really appreciate if you could tell anyone who mentions this rumour that it isn’t true as I’m a bit miffed about it.

Then I would fade her out. Low drama, but with directly warning her you know.

This the dog walk is perfect timing to ask her about it and doing it face to face you can gauge her reaction better.

JanefromLondon1 · 02/12/2023 10:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

PosterBoy · 02/12/2023 10:53

BetterWithPockets · 02/12/2023 10:36

But slander and libel are both criminal offences so perfectly within police remit. When a neighbour was spreading nasty rumours about my brother, he contacted the police and police went to neighbour’s house and cautioned him.

Show quote history

Slander and libel are not criminal offences.

Perhaps your neighbour was making threats? That would be a criminal offence.

tachycardigan · 02/12/2023 10:54

What on earth do I do how?

Er, call her and ask her what she’s playing at?

Please don’t say you don’t like confrontation.

Anisette · 02/12/2023 10:58

BetterWithPockets · 02/12/2023 10:36

But slander and libel are both criminal offences so perfectly within police remit. When a neighbour was spreading nasty rumours about my brother, he contacted the police and police went to neighbour’s house and cautioned him.

Show quote history

No, neither are criminal offences. Whatever the police cautioned your neighbour for, it wasn't that.

Jellycats4life · 02/12/2023 10:58

Calling the police is a ridiculous suggestion. As is a long and detailed denial of the rumour - it just makes you sound guilty.

A short, sharp and direct “What the fuck are you playing at?” should be enough.

WhoWants2Know · 02/12/2023 10:59

I would text her and say you can't make doggie play date as you'll apparently be too busy sleeping with CEO 🙄

ColleenDonaghy · 02/12/2023 11:01

Don't call her or meet in person, keep it to messages so you have it in writing.

What's your relationship like with the CEO? If you get along well with him and there's the slightest chance the rumours will reach him, I'd email him now, from your work account to his. Tell him in a very neutral manner you have just heard of a malicious rumour about the nature of your relationship, you want to reassure him that the rumour didn't come from you and you're in the process of ending your friendship with the person you believe started it. Again, get it in writing that it's nothing to do with you.

Birdcar · 02/12/2023 11:02

Could someone else be using her phone?

AyrshireTryer · 02/12/2023 11:03

Pop round with a wreath.
Show her the messages, leave.

Mamette · 02/12/2023 11:04

GreatGateauxsby · 02/12/2023 09:18

Personally I'd go on the dog walk look her in the eyes and say why have you been asking people if they have heard I slept with X?

Then say absolutely nothing while she explains / wants to curl up and die.

Yes I was going to suggest this too.

LBFseBrom · 02/12/2023 11:05

That is horrible! This person is definitely NOT your friend. In your place, I would challenge her about it. She will probably say it was a joke but tell her it is not funny and ask her to delete or tell people she was only joking.

Things can go too far and your 'friend' crossed the line.

Gnomegnomegnome · 02/12/2023 11:06

WhoWants2Know · 02/12/2023 10:59

I would text her and say you can't make doggie play date as you'll apparently be too busy sleeping with CEO 🙄

This

mymycherrypie · 02/12/2023 11:16

Before you leave this friendship you have to start a counter lie. She’s slept with him and blaming it on me. Cry when people ask. Then never talk to her again and explain this is the reason why.

NoTouch · 02/12/2023 11:16

Go for the walk, say very seriously "I've heard the rumour about me, those sort of playground lies damage peoples professional reputations and relationships because someone will stupid enough to believe it, disappointing that anyone would find that entertaining". Look her straight in the eye. Then change the subject to the dogs before she can respond.

whynotwhatknot · 02/12/2023 11:17

nasty compulsive liars dont care if you say oh im seeing a solicotr they dont even think theyve done anything wrong

i kned someone like this along time ago she wo9uld literally talk to you nicely one minute then go and spread rumours whilst you were still standing there

Tinkerbyebye · 02/12/2023 11:19

Txt her the screen shot you have, say I know you started this, please stop and no we won’t be meeting again, my friends don’t tell lies, or gossip, about me