My (so called) friend is telling outrageous lies about me!

[wtafluv]

Absolutely horrified! Just found out that someone considered a real longtime friend, has been texting people to ask if they've heard the rumour that I'm sleeping with a colleague (high profile as he's the CEO of a very well known company).

A close friend today showed me the messages. Couldn't believe it.

This is absolutely fiction. I barely know this man.

What on earth do I do how? I'm horrid and shocked.

This woman had text me today about a play date with our doggies!

I'd reply to her 'OMG did you hear someone is spreading ridiculous lies about their supposed friend?' And see what she says.

Actually I've changed my mind, I'm loving @StockpotSoup 's answer... '

”I’m afraid I have to cancel our doggy date today. I can only cope with one bitch at a time”.'

True Mumsnet sarcasm! I do like this site ...

I’d message, you need it in writing.

”have you been suggesting to people I slept with x”
she’ll confirm or deny, no matter the response you say something like

“why on earth would you say that, when you know it’s not true?”
she’ll say she didn’t say it or apologise

“I have proof you have been saying it, if you’d like to explain why, now is your chance to do so”

she will confirm or deny

“that’s fine, I wanted to hear from you exactly why you’d make up these lies before I issue the following ultimatum…. if you continue these lies I’ll publish these messages on social media”

Not true. These are civil matters, not criminal. And pursuing them is a costly business.

Wow, edgy. I think you watch too much reality TV.

I would tell her I know what she has been saying and quizz her about it.

Is she usually a good friend or are you just hanging onto a friendship because you know her a long time

Have you witnessed her being two faced before?

I would definitely be going cool on this friendship after this, she can’t be trusted

Ask her.

I would definitely ask her face to face. You would be able to tell from her body language if she feels any remorse or what the intention was. Go with your gut feeling when she responds. Does she feel like a genuine friend that made a mistake and is apologetic or is she dismissive and tries play it down while not showing signs of truly feeling bad? Would you trust her with sharing anything about your life in future? You can’t be close friends if you don’t trust she has the best intentions for you.

I would contact her, say you’re not meeting up today and have learned about the ridiculous rumour she’s spreading around. I would also say you’re upset and annoyed that she would make up such rubbish and you considered her a much better friend.

Id then leave it at that and let her panic about it.

Such a horrible thing to do, I wouldn’t consider her a friend anymore!

I’d send her a really cross message saying how disgusted you are with her, then block her. What a foul and shitty thing to do.

Go on the walk. Tell her you’re so upset, you thought you were sleeping with the CEO but actually it was Kenny the Copy Guy.

Or just shoot her or something, that wouldn’t be an overreaction compared to some of the posts on here.

This.

I’ve not seen this for many years, but back in the day local newspapers used occasionally to publish a notice in the announcements section saying something like “Miss A Smith, of Something Address, Littletown, wishes to state that comments she recently made about Mrs XYZ of Some Other Address, Littletown, are totally without foundation and are untrue. She extends her apologies to Mrs XYZ.”
presumably this was the result of a solicitor’s letter or similar. An excellent idea which should be reintroduced, especially on Twitter/X!

Stay away from her she is a fruit loop.

I would ask her.

TBH unless she has form for this I would assume that the rumour has started somewhere else and I would want to know where and why.
People on mn love telling posters to report to the police (is there a it at 101 yet?) but the police aren’t going to be interested.

Slander, libel, defamation, all those are civil offences, and almost impossible to win and costly to pursue.

Settle this among yourselves, there’s nothing to be achieved by doing anything else.@log

I'd arrange to meet your friend and confront her and then block her out your life.

It seems a common way of Fishing for information to see if its true ?

Confront her then end the friendship

I know everyone would react different to this but in my case I would answer her doggie date with a "Sorry I need to cancel the dog walk because I'm going to be busy having sex with XYZ".

And just leave it there.

I’d get a solicitor’s letter warning her off for defamation. I doubt she’d agree to a public apology but might be persuaded to write you a signed letter of apology acknowledging the rumour to be groundless, which you can then distribute as you feel the need. The cost of this should be relatively minimal.
I agree that court action is unaffordable for the ordinary person and is a significant defect in our judicial system which leaves the majority unable to enforce their rights.

I would add in defamatory. She should be aware of how serious this is, as it will hopefully make her cease asap.

Maybe ask who she has sent the messages to.

This is exactly what I think happened.

Can you afford to laugh it off, OP? Could this cause issues in your relationship or at work?

It's an absolutely dreadful thing to do. I think I'd arrange to still meet her and see if any of te others she texted can be present. A confrontation is absolutely needed here.

What a bitch!

Absolutely agree that this is friendship over.

This woman sounds jealous and nasty.