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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel RAGE against schools lack of care towards working parents?

654 replies

Stormy900 · 02/12/2023 07:42

I'm so, so angry!!!!
I'm a working parent.
I'm a nurse, so I can't WFH.
Why oh why oh why do primary schools set ALL their plays and productions during school hours when I, and so many other parents I know, are AT WORK!!!!
WHY don't schools factor this in????
My DC has a Christmas performance coming up and it is really important to him and to me that I'm there, it would fill my heart with absolute joy to see him. But school only informed us of the date 10 days ago. I have requested to take annual leave to attend it, but it has been refused by my manager because there are other colleagues on annual leave that day who have already requested, and I've been told my request is too short notice, but I've only recently been informed of the date by school. I'm absolutely heartbroken to not be able to attend. If I'd been given much more notice, I could have attended.
Also, another issue is HOW LITTLE NOTICE schools give parents about dates for events that parents are invited to. Sports day, parents being invited in to see DC's work and class displays, summer shows, Easter performances, class assemblies where my DC have speaking parts, and of course Christmas events. The school tells us no more than 2 weeks in advance maximum. Why?????
In my job, A/L has to be requested SIX WEEKS in advance because of staff rotas.
And don't get me started on children being given award certificates in assembly each week, which parents are invited to watch and the teachers TELL THE CHILDREN THEIR PARENTS ARE INVITED....they invite parents on the afternoon of THE DAY BEFORE THE CERTIFICATE ASSEMBLY!!!!
On Monday, school sent an email to me at 3pm, which I didn't pick up because I was managing a blood transfusion for a critically ill patient, so I picked it up later that day, as I can't access my emails as soon as they come in if I'm working. The invite was for 9am THE NEXT DAY!!!
There was no way I could attend at this level of short notice, as I was due to be at work the next morning, starting at 7am.
My little DD cried and cried. She said she wanted me there more than anything.
I have missed sooooooo many primary school events for my 2 DC because of horrific short notice from school. If I'd had dates in advance I could have attended them all.
WHY do schools do this???
They MUST KNOW what dates they're going to do events on. I simply refuse to believe they don't. They MUST have to plan their school calendar, activities, shows, performances, awards, in advance.
WHY do they assume all parents are eithet stay at home mothers or are in WFH jobs??
I'm SO angry!!!

OP posts:
Notmetoo · 06/12/2023 19:00

Many teachers are also working parents and unable to go to their children's school events
Sadly it's just the way it is. You can't expect them to put events on in the evening especially at primary school. It's either have something in the day or not at all.

pleasehelpwi3 · 06/12/2023 22:34

ithinkmyheadiscavingin · 06/12/2023 16:01

Please. Many support staff ARE treated disrespectfully by SLT/teachers/parents/students via tone, lack of important communication, lack of planning for TAs, etc Many TAs are ex-teachers themselves; others have other degrees and qualifications that are frankly higher than those of teachers. Many TAs are asked to cover teacher absences without any extra pay and feel bullied/pressured into agreeing. I see it all the time. Many HLTAs have quit in disgust over the extra 50 pence an hour over the next band down when they're expected to essentially do everything a teacher does regularly for crap pay.

Schools could put TAs on higher bands; they choose not to.

Show quote history

I think you are conflating two different situations- the absolute shite financial situation of state schools in the UK (thanks Dave, Theresa, Boris , Liz, Rishi) and the knock on effect that has had on the ability of schools to pay TAs anything near what TAs deserve, and local situations in some schools with difficult SLTs.
I have always treated the TAs I've worked with great respect and professionalism and see it as a partnership. This is generally the norm where I work, with some exceptions. That said, I know some teachers can be rude to TAs, just as some TAs can be judgmental of teachers and in the worst cases, undermine them.
Many of the points you make eg about TA salary bands have nothing to do with class teachers. I'm not sure I agree with you TAs having higher qualifications than teachers- this is very much the exception in my experience. And yes, I do think TAs should be much better paid.

Onabench · 06/12/2023 22:39

School isn’t there for working parents. It’s there for education. They are long days for kids as it is and teachers are overwhelmed.

Short notice isn’t acceptable however

43ontherocksporfavor · 06/12/2023 22:58

@Onabench well said. We are not care providers!

MikeRafone · 09/12/2023 06:08

School isn’t there for working parents. It’s there for education. They are long days for kids as it is and teachers are overwhelmed.

in that case why do unemployed parents have to seek work when their children reach school age? The government rules for claiming universal credit are such.

Justfinking · 09/12/2023 06:33

MikeRafone · 09/12/2023 06:08

School isn’t there for working parents. It’s there for education. They are long days for kids as it is and teachers are overwhelmed.

in that case why do unemployed parents have to seek work when their children reach school age? The government rules for claiming universal credit are such.

Huh? Your comment makes no sense @Onabench is right, the point of school is for education or do you think differently?

OldChinaJug · 09/12/2023 12:29

MikeRafone · 09/12/2023 06:08

School isn’t there for working parents. It’s there for education. They are long days for kids as it is and teachers are overwhelmed.

in that case why do unemployed parents have to seek work when their children reach school age? The government rules for claiming universal credit are such.

You're not really the sharpest tool in the box, are you?

MikeRafone · 09/12/2023 17:43

OldChinaJug · 09/12/2023 12:29

You're not really the sharpest tool in the box, are you?

Show quote history

Well do explain then why UC claimants have to seek employment when their children reach school age, if school isn’t considered by the government as child care why do they pick school age?

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 18:27

School is for education and childcare. It serves a dual purpose.

Maxus · 10/12/2023 18:32

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 18:27

School is for education and childcare. It serves a dual purpose.

No it's for education. Why do you think teachers send sick kids home? That's the parents responsibility not the schools.

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 18:34

The government kept schools open during lockdown for children of key workers in recognition that parents needed the childcare,

Maxus · 10/12/2023 18:53

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 18:34

The government kept schools open during lockdown for children of key workers in recognition that parents needed the childcare,

At that point it was there for care for keyworkers( if it was real childcare every child would have got it, they didn't), it was basically a babysitting service with very little learning going on in fact in most secondarys they weren't taught by teachers as they where doing online lessons with everybody else. They where mixed year group classes without dedicated teachers for each subject and did the same online work the kids at home got. In normal times no school is not childcare.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 10/12/2023 19:52

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 18:34

The government kept schools open during lockdown for children of key workers in recognition that parents needed the childcare,

But they werent being taught. It was purely childcare, often led by TA’s. So again, not dual purpose.

Notmetoo · 10/12/2023 21:27

Maxus · 10/12/2023 18:32

No it's for education. Why do you think teachers send sick kids home? That's the parents responsibility not the schools.

Show quote history

This.
School is not childcare it is for education. Teacher training courses train people to teach not to provide childcare.
I'm not a teacher but I get extremely annoyed by people who think schools are there to provide free childcare. They don't exist for the parents benefit they are for the child's benefit.

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 21:51

Teachers were supposed to be doing lessons during lockdown and doing on line transmission.
If the school you know only had TAs looking after the children going to school, what the hell where the teachers doing?

Sherrystrull · 10/12/2023 22:06

Well I don't know about any other teachers but I was looking after my own children, teaching key worker children, teaching online lessons, filming online lessons and communicating with parents and children who were at home.

Have I gone back to 2021?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 10/12/2023 22:51

School is for education and childcare

No it isn't. I'm a teacher, not a childminder. If it's childcare, why are there school holidays, when parents are still at work?

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 10/12/2023 22:56

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 21:51

Teachers were supposed to be doing lessons during lockdown and doing on line transmission.
If the school you know only had TAs looking after the children going to school, what the hell where the teachers doing?

You're wrong. Or at least mixing / merging all the different lockdowns.

What were you doing?

ChristmasTreeStar · 10/12/2023 23:16

It is annoying i agree with you. Its almost like schools are set up to still be back in the times where one person doesn’t work and can quite easily get there for 840am drop off/315pm pick ups. Its absurd when most jobs are generally 9-5, not to mention travelling time etc. i feel for you as its even worse working shifts. Schools need updating and bringing into the modern world. Lets not mention the amount of school holidays we have to cover when youve only got 25 days annual leave…

Vgbeat · 11/12/2023 00:51

I know it can be shit, most teachers sadly can't see their own children in assemblies, plays and events either.

shearwater2 · 11/12/2023 01:16

YANBU. When I was at school and when DDs were at school there was always an evening performance as well as daytime, so as many parents as possible could come.

Maxus · 11/12/2023 06:06

mantyzer · 10/12/2023 21:51

Teachers were supposed to be doing lessons during lockdown and doing on line transmission.
If the school you know only had TAs looking after the children going to school, what the hell where the teachers doing?

They where doing online lessons for everybody else, the kids in school also did the online lessons. It was mixed year groups in one room with one adult not a teacher.
This was the case in secondary and I've already explained this to you. Teachers couldn't do live online lessons aswell as supervise a class. In answer the teachers where teaching the majority who where at home. Clear enough for you?

Maxus · 11/12/2023 06:07

Sherrystrull · 10/12/2023 22:06

Well I don't know about any other teachers but I was looking after my own children, teaching key worker children, teaching online lessons, filming online lessons and communicating with parents and children who were at home.

Have I gone back to 2021?

Thankyou, all teachers went above and beyond during lockdown ❤️

MikeRafone · 11/12/2023 06:40

No it isn't. I'm a teacher, not a childminder. If it's childcare, why are there school holidays, when parents are still at work?

Holidays are historically traditionally from a time when not everyone went to school & other people looked after child and education was the full purpose of going to school. Times change, the government haven’t worked out how to get rid of the school holidays, plus the teachers have unions who would object. The government, particularly Mogg would also like to reduce worker annual leave rights

Longma · 11/12/2023 07:41

This reply has been withdrawn

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