To feel RAGE against schools lack of care towards working parents?

[Stormy900]

I'm so, so angry!!!!
I'm a working parent.
I'm a nurse, so I can't WFH.
Why oh why oh why do primary schools set ALL their plays and productions during school hours when I, and so many other parents I know, are AT WORK!!!!
WHY don't schools factor this in????
My DC has a Christmas performance coming up and it is really important to him and to me that I'm there, it would fill my heart with absolute joy to see him. But school only informed us of the date 10 days ago. I have requested to take annual leave to attend it, but it has been refused by my manager because there are other colleagues on annual leave that day who have already requested, and I've been told my request is too short notice, but I've only recently been informed of the date by school. I'm absolutely heartbroken to not be able to attend. If I'd been given much more notice, I could have attended.
Also, another issue is HOW LITTLE NOTICE schools give parents about dates for events that parents are invited to. Sports day, parents being invited in to see DC's work and class displays, summer shows, Easter performances, class assemblies where my DC have speaking parts, and of course Christmas events. The school tells us no more than 2 weeks in advance maximum. Why?????
In my job, A/L has to be requested SIX WEEKS in advance because of staff rotas.
And don't get me started on children being given award certificates in assembly each week, which parents are invited to watch and the teachers TELL THE CHILDREN THEIR PARENTS ARE INVITED....they invite parents on the afternoon of THE DAY BEFORE THE CERTIFICATE ASSEMBLY!!!!
On Monday, school sent an email to me at 3pm, which I didn't pick up because I was managing a blood transfusion for a critically ill patient, so I picked it up later that day, as I can't access my emails as soon as they come in if I'm working. The invite was for 9am THE NEXT DAY!!!
There was no way I could attend at this level of short notice, as I was due to be at work the next morning, starting at 7am.
My little DD cried and cried. She said she wanted me there more than anything.
I have missed sooooooo many primary school events for my 2 DC because of horrific short notice from school. If I'd had dates in advance I could have attended them all.
WHY do schools do this???
They MUST KNOW what dates they're going to do events on. I simply refuse to believe they don't. They MUST have to plan their school calendar, activities, shows, performances, awards, in advance.
WHY do they assume all parents are eithet stay at home mothers or are in WFH jobs??
I'm SO angry!!!

Sports day can be cancelled at short notice due to weather, either rain or extreme heat, and have to be rearranged. No amount of planning can allow for that.

The amount of notice for upcoming events obviously varies widely between schools and isn't really in the hands of teachers themselces so it's not an 'all teachers' or 'all schools' issue.

What has the PTA got to do with anything? It is SLT who decides what runs when.

I don't think any teacher would disagree about parents needing as much time as possible. People have just shared reasons why deciding if often out of our control. I personally send a letter the day the dates are decided for the Christmas performances.

A mobile phone in the 80s? Not common till mid-late 90s, what's your line of work? Health workers generally worked with pagers till quite late on.

@CaptainMyCaptain I am not discussing rearranging its not giving any timing details until a day or so before. I teach too but we have to be careful not to assume schools are always right and just misunderstood

80s were brick phones that cost about a £1000 to buy at the time. Only well off people had one.

Well curly because at many schools including OUR school and others we know - fhe PTA decides when they would like to do events and they propose to administration. And being that I am on the PTA…and I’m a working parent…

So the real question is why do you assume you know how its done everywhere?

I totally feel your pain and I have the luxury of flexible working around meetings/deadlines.
We got told about a school event that’s happening next Tues, at 7pm yesterday!! It involves both my children (yr6 and yr2), the only time they have ever done something together and probably the only time they will. We also have school starting at 8.45 but morning shows never start until 9.30-9.45 earliest now so not close enough to drop off and stay at school but not long enough to go home and do anything either.
On average we never get told more than 2 weeks in advance of anything happening. We can’t even get out school to advertise PTA events that are firmed up months in advance sooner than 2 weeks if we are lucky.
I know it doesn’t make up for your or your little girls disappointment but the patients you see that day will be very grateful you are there

Define what you mean by 'worse than teachers.' Pay? Of course teachers earn more? Professionally? Teachers have the qualification- but should never mean that support staff are treated disrespectfully- they do an important job too.
Schools don't set out to pay less than local shops- this is totally the fault of the shit funding of schools by 13 years of Tory rule.

That's wild. I'm PTA chair, our head sets the dates 12 months prior and we fall in line, there's occasional margins of wiggle room but generally it's all pre decided and we just get an email to see if we can fit in with the schedule or not 😂

This thread has reminded me of the really annoying email we got about carol services.

"EYFS Carol service - Thursday 7th December, 2ish"

2ish?? Ish? Why ish? I appreciate it's hard herding reception children around (although all year groups had "ish" so the years 5&6 carol service is Friday at 2ish), but they're on time for lunch, PE, and home time. Why can't the time of the carol service be treated like that.

Because to put events on of an evening requires staff, who are not paid to be there of an evening so wouldn't be willing to work for free

Just worth noting that teachers used to do some events in the evening. When teachers were treated better by government and parents.

The question isn't evening events its adequate timed notice of planned school events

Teachers have been overworked. It's much worse in secondary. You would not believe it. Primary is actually quite well funded.

I had rage too. They then put on evening events. But that was many years ago.

Nursing is the most non family friendly career on the planet. I feel your pain.

YABU to think they can give notice weeks ahead for Friday "star of the week" certificate assemblies. How would I, as a teacher, know weeks in advance who was going to earn that award for this week?

I agree that dates for things like Christmas productions, fairs etc should be on the school website at the start of term and in lots of schools they are.

I am a primary teacher, my DDs are now late teens but when they were little I never saw most of their primary school events because I was working in my own school and couldn't just abandon my class to go and watch them. But they knew the score, I didn't bemoan it to them so that they cried about it. My DH went whenever he could, sometimes my MIL went or my sister, I tried to make it so that someone went if possible and my DDs were pretty happy with that.

It is a shame but I think you are being a bit too dramatic and possibly winding your child up to be upset about it too.

Please. Many support staff ARE treated disrespectfully by SLT/teachers/parents/students via tone, lack of important communication, lack of planning for TAs, etc Many TAs are ex-teachers themselves; others have other degrees and qualifications that are frankly higher than those of teachers. Many TAs are asked to cover teacher absences without any extra pay and feel bullied/pressured into agreeing. I see it all the time. Many HLTAs have quit in disgust over the extra 50 pence an hour over the next band down when they're expected to essentially do everything a teacher does regularly for crap pay.

Schools could put TAs on higher bands; they choose not to.

@TheMadGardener You keep saying you know what it is like, but you don't. Your DH and mum went instead. We are talking about kids who can't have anyone there ever at events.

I've replied so many times explaining that I'm a teacher who doesn't have anyone at my kids events and you've yet to acknowledge it. Why are you only answering to points to push your own agenda?
I also think you're being a bit dramatic about the floods of tears and disappointment. Most NT primary kids are capable of understanding that parents work. I explained to mine that me and dad work. And that a friend's mum/the teacher/PSA would watch out for them. Any reason you've not tried that?

I work in school. I don’t have family around and DH saved his leave to we could use it as a family. My children didn’t have anyone watching them at plays, sports day etc. once I’d gone back to work. They knew why, their schools knew why and that was that. No histrionics from anyone. Even when I was in maternity leave I didn’t see my DDs events as siblings weren’t allowed so I was at home with the baby - that was frustrating but understandable.

@FeelingSoOverwhelmed I did say the teacher would watch them. That is all I could say.

If its a small friendly school you could ask the office staff to go watch. We used to make a point of watching from the back for at least part of the performance, and then going to say well done to anyone who didnt have someone. But a lot of the kids new us fairly well so it worked.

Don't want to derail but not sure that is the case. Primary colleagues are on average paid less - very difficult to get UPS in a lot of schools and TLRs are tiny or unheard of. Staffing is a school's main cost. Primary teachers work longer hours and have done for many years so are presumably attending more evening events (unpaid).