To feel RAGE against schools lack of care towards working parents?

[Stormy900]

I'm so, so angry!!!!
I'm a working parent.
I'm a nurse, so I can't WFH.
Why oh why oh why do primary schools set ALL their plays and productions during school hours when I, and so many other parents I know, are AT WORK!!!!
WHY don't schools factor this in????
My DC has a Christmas performance coming up and it is really important to him and to me that I'm there, it would fill my heart with absolute joy to see him. But school only informed us of the date 10 days ago. I have requested to take annual leave to attend it, but it has been refused by my manager because there are other colleagues on annual leave that day who have already requested, and I've been told my request is too short notice, but I've only recently been informed of the date by school. I'm absolutely heartbroken to not be able to attend. If I'd been given much more notice, I could have attended.
Also, another issue is HOW LITTLE NOTICE schools give parents about dates for events that parents are invited to. Sports day, parents being invited in to see DC's work and class displays, summer shows, Easter performances, class assemblies where my DC have speaking parts, and of course Christmas events. The school tells us no more than 2 weeks in advance maximum. Why?????
In my job, A/L has to be requested SIX WEEKS in advance because of staff rotas.
And don't get me started on children being given award certificates in assembly each week, which parents are invited to watch and the teachers TELL THE CHILDREN THEIR PARENTS ARE INVITED....they invite parents on the afternoon of THE DAY BEFORE THE CERTIFICATE ASSEMBLY!!!!
On Monday, school sent an email to me at 3pm, which I didn't pick up because I was managing a blood transfusion for a critically ill patient, so I picked it up later that day, as I can't access my emails as soon as they come in if I'm working. The invite was for 9am THE NEXT DAY!!!
There was no way I could attend at this level of short notice, as I was due to be at work the next morning, starting at 7am.
My little DD cried and cried. She said she wanted me there more than anything.
I have missed sooooooo many primary school events for my 2 DC because of horrific short notice from school. If I'd had dates in advance I could have attended them all.
WHY do schools do this???
They MUST KNOW what dates they're going to do events on. I simply refuse to believe they don't. They MUST have to plan their school calendar, activities, shows, performances, awards, in advance.
WHY do they assume all parents are eithet stay at home mothers or are in WFH jobs??
I'm SO angry!!!

Your school, not all schools. We get all the dates for the year. Performances are also at 6pm as well as in school time. But how do you suggest an end of the week certificate is given out with more notice? The alternative is simply parents aren't invited.

Have you told the school this? I agree it's annoying. If you work a shitty pattern, presumably you can make some though.

That sounds really tough that everything is at short notice. Maybe could you speak with the head a d ask that the calendar is published at th start of the term?

It might help to note that teachers are in the same boat - very hard to get leave mid term to see their own kids' things

School faculty is full of working parents too.

Perhaps they don’t want the kids to have to be at school any longer than the school day/come back into school in the evenings.

Agree it’s shit but it’s always been this way.

At my son's school the email comes out with little notice, but the plan is actually on the school website a year ahead. Have you checked their website?

Teacher here that doesn't get to see my kids stuff. It's rubbish.

The school sound really badly organised. I chose my DC's primary partly because they gave us all these dates months in advance. We'd get the next year's dates before the school broke up in July. So it can be done.

You are totally right! I’m a teacher and can’t just take days off whenever I want them. I miss everything my daughter does at school, it’s really sad.
theres also a huge divide between the working and stay at home parents it seems. (So few seem to work!) Going to Breakfast and after school club mean I never get the school gate chat/play date invites and I can’t join in or help with any of the pta events. My friends in the city where more parents work seem to have much more after school and weekend things on at their schools so they can actually go

That sounds shit.
We get a calendar at the start of the year with the dates of all major performances for the whole year. Shorter notice stuff does come up, it's not always avoidable.

Next week one of my kids has a play and the other is displaying an art project that parents are invited to go in and see. I can't do both sadly. Luckily DH can.

Our school calendar has been out since September with all the dates for these things on already.

Don't forget teachers who are parents generally can't get to things in the school day either, so likely they know how you feel.

Sounds like a school issue. We have been given the dates for Christmas shows about three weeks in advance. I probably would chat with your child though that sometimes you can't get to something.

They don't assume that. Many parents wouldn't be able to do evenings either. I'm a teacher so unable to book time off for things like this. It's poor not giving enough notice for things- feed this back to the school. But events have to happen at some time, some parents will be able to make it, others won't. And working from home is still working, it doesn't mean that person is any more likely to be able to attend than anyone else.

You can definitely ask for more notice at least for the main events. I agree you can also ask that teachers don't talk about parents attending except in general terms. These things are quite basic.

My DCs school are good with this; I’ve had the school performance dates for months. Keep on complaining to school about it, try to get others effected to do the same

It's rubbish but it's just not possible for these things to happen outside of school hours the vast majority of times.

Is there a dad, grandparent, aunt, uncle or family friend who could go on your behalf? I know it's not the same for you but might help a bit.

When I was younger we used to have a morning and an afternoon performance. This doesn't seem to be the case anymore for a lot of schools. They assume parents can attend during the day the majority of the time.

My dc’s school used to do several Christmas concerts at different times, including two evenings. It was a pain as the kids were exhausted but it did mean working parents could go.

Do you have another family member who can go to these things eg a grandparent who is free in the day?

I think it is just the way it is. Schools do things during school hours. If you work, it is just part of the parcel that you cannot be there for many of these things. I wouldn't overthink. Mine got used to me not being there. A lot of other parents are in the same boat so your child will not be the only one. These performances are overrated in any case ;-p

I agree that it would be much better if they have dates with a bit more notice, so you could bring that up with the school. However, I’m guessing events are during school time as otherwise teachers would have to work extra, and they already do enough in their own time throughout the year? Also it would be a bit late for the younger school kids to participate.

My dc's primary school wasn't like that at all. Plenty of notice, and big events like shows had ome daytime performance and one evening performance.

Your feelings about this seem quite extreme though. It's schools' job to educate your child, not to show care towards working parents. Teachers mostly are working parents themselves. They do a LOT of work outside school hours already, and expecting them to run lots of events after school instead of during their actual wirking hours is unreasonable.

At my school an evening performance was trialled for a few years but not enough parents brought their child back to perform so it was stopped. We've tried to do evening things for other stuff too like reading workshops, we set the time as 6 to give parents chance to finish work and get to us but still only had 14/60 parents turn up. When it's your own time you've given up and you get a turnout like that you don't feel inclined to do it again.

As for pp we get a fair bit of notice and usually morning and afternoon performance

We don’t go to assemblies though

do you have family who could go on your behalf @Stormy900

i was so lucky i was very part time, and on a temporary contract when mine were at primary school

Our school dates are usually circulated at the start of the year and then there’s an ‘upcoming events’ reminder that covers the rest of the term at the end of the weekly newsletter. Perhaps it might be worth asking if your child’s school could do something similar as that would help you to arrange time off work or for someone else (dad or grandparent perhaps) to attend some of the school events.

As a working parent I agree that it would be helpful to me to have productions etc in the evening but schools are running on inadequate budgets already and the staff have their own families and childcare needs too. Opening into the evening would likely incur staffing overtime costs, both to put on productions and events, and also for premises staff to lock up etc).