I've just made myself look so insecure and desperate haven't I?

[arghksk]

Been on 4 dates with a guy I met around 7 weeks ago (dates been slow due to my schedule). Wasn't too fussed on him at first but starting to like him and look forward to hearing from him.

However, I am aware I have an anxious attachment style but recently I have noticed a change in the tone of our texts. He still initiates equally but the texts are short, there is less banter on his side, hardly any questions etc. There's just been a change and I feel I am carrying the conversation even when he texts first.

He has said he isn't chatting or seeing anyone but of course that's really none of my business. I do wonder if he's met someone else but once again not sure if I'm just being paranoid due to my attachment style.

Tonight I sent him this text, 'Is everything okay? I feel like the tone in our messages have changed and I’m just bugging you. Just say if I am x'

He replied, 'nah just watching the football x'

I am cringing now and feel like I've made myself appear so desperate and needy now.

Have I? Is that quite a dismissive text he sent? I really don't know if I can do this. I feel so so so triggered and feel sick to my stomach. Can't eat properly as this knot in my stomach.

Struggle to see the wood from the trees, whether it's my issues or whether something is really wrong.

She is going to be exposing her child to these dregs of society if she doesn't get control. I think she does indeed need to withdraw from dating until she gets a grip on why her standards aren't higher and how to raise them.

Why isn't she focusing on the child instead of how often her texting app bleats?

So funny banter makes up for his vulgar treatment of you? His lack of respect? The fact that he's willing to talk to a bare acquaintance about "going for a wank" ?

I wouldn't hire him to pick up dog shit, quite frankly, let alone entertain one of his ilk as a dating prospect. Aim higher.

He's probably a bit bored with you now but keeping you on a burner for when he's not with his favoured woman, or some other tosspottery. Who replies to a potential partner in the early days, who they have been dating, like that?Unless they are antisocial in general or couldn't give much of a toss about you in particular. He's the problem not you.

Did he cancel OP or did you get in there first? (I hope)

No still seems to be on

So you made the thread but didn’t take any advice!

OP at this stage you are your own worst enemy.

Its all very well throwing your hands up and saying “well I have an anxious attachment style!” but what are you actually going to do about it?!

Enjoy the date

I predict…
in a few days time:
‘You all told me so and I chose not to listen. He’s ghosted me and I feel used’

Same here, @Lotusbiscuitsss

Some real loonies in this thread. He texts like a normal bloke — you’re overthinking it all. Yes, it might fizzle out after sex, or before. You won’t know until it happens. It really isn’t the end of the world, either way. The people in here calling the guy “the dregs of society” for mentioning masturbation should clutch those pearls a bit harder.

@Lotusbiscuitsss what a lovely prediction.

Urgh. It's not normal to text like that unless OP is also texting like that, which she may well be.

I don’t think you’re the arbiter of normality. I will admit that I’d find it a turn off, but I would hardly classify the guy as “the dregs of society” because of it.

@nonmerci99 ok maybe it's normal in some people's world and OP didn't seem to mind. Who called him dregs of society? Not moi.

id put a lot of money on her having borderline personality disorder

I wonder what's so shit in your life that you could come out with such horrible posts whatever it is, I hope you find peace soon.

Look up the criteria - frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, idealisation at the start (she's met wanker four times) and reckless behaviour.

She said it's a long term issue.

I really think it’s a poor show and ridiculous for people to try to diagnose someone on the internet after a few short paragraphs. Even an expert would not do that. I see it on here all the time, are they autistic, do they have adhd, looks like bi polar to me. No one should be diagnosing anyone. Never less declaring a poster to have borderline personality disorder.

op. Please ignore these posts. They say more about th4 poster than you.

In reality OP you don’t have to walk into this. You really can cancel tonight, or at least don’t have him stay over. Just say you’ve got something on early tomorrow or a guest etc…it’s code for I am not going further right now and that is absolutely your right.

And please trust me, he’s only going to get more boring. Did he actually use the word ‘nah’ in a text. I’m afraid that would be enough for me 😄

@Inyournewdress aw I use the word ‘nah’ 😂

OP have fun tonight! Hope it’s a good time!

OP, if you just want to scratch the itch and have a shag with Mr Prince Charming that's totally fine, go and do it, however if doing this is going to enhance your post sex anxiety attachment disorder and make you fall into a painful spiral of "why is he not texting me after having sex" then don't sleep with him. Some people can handle no strings sex and some don't. I don't know which group you belong to.

OP, however this pans out, I hope you’re ok?