To think this is my queue to move out now

[Givealittlerespecttome]

After several years of renting and no plan for the future, I tell my boyfriend we need a plan and he says 'I don't know what to say.'
I'm usually the one doing all the work so he sees I'm upset then reluctantly looks at flats for all of 5 minutesethen gets bored.
I ask him hypothetically if he could see himself living with me in another 5-10 years and he sighs and says.. I don't know.. it's hard to say.
The saving grace is that our lettings agency phoned yesterday and said that we never actually signed our tenancy back in September, so technically they're only owed a month's notice.

Don't feel bad about the weekend OP. That's what happens if you break up with someone - plans you made with them have to change. If they're decent people they'll understand that it's not about them, and if they're not decent people you've saved yourself from having to spend time with them too.

This!

Can you imagine how insulting and upsetting it would be to try and marry this man and start a family with him on the background of his foot-dragging reluctance.

Plus, these types of men usually turn it around on you after a few years when they are letting you down or cheating and blame you! "You made me marry you, you made me have kids..." Urgh! I can hear it all now!

Get that flat - it sounds amazing! There is a guy out there who will be excited to be making plans with you -that's the way it should be.

Throw this stunned mullet back in the sea and go fish again 😀

You can probably get a refund on your train ticket as you haven't travelled yet.

It does seem to be him very passively telling you - this has no future

But he doesn’t have the back bone to actually say those words

but sighing and saying “i don’t know” seems pretty clear cut to me

Sorry @Givealittlerespecttome , but it does sound like you are just wasting your time with him . I’d apply for the studio flat and definitely wouldn’t bother going this weekend . Do not say you are unwell just let him explain , it’s his fault .

I'm not bothered any more about my spelling being corrected, I've got more to worry about than that 😂

I've seen a studio flat by the seaside for myself for an absolute steal and nearer to where I work. Feel like just applying for it tbh.

Sometimes things are meant to happen and it's only in hindsight you see it.
I'm sorry he's made you feel so undervalued. Move to the sea, I'm sure people are happier there.

and given the other thread you started… today

about him now saying he can’t do the holiday you booked in Feb because he has an event he must attend… I don’t think he sees himself with you in 5 months let alone 5 years

He sounds like a timewaster. Loads of men will happily cohabit for years and years with no intention of ever committing. I made the mistake of entertaining one. He just strung me along for several years, without it ever going anywhere. I feel so stupid now that I wasted so much time. I haven't met anyone else (also haven't really tried to - been dealing with health issues) but I'm much happier now. I feel like I got control back.

Just leave him, whether you love him or not, if he just needs a kick up the ass he will choose to follow you and beg you to make room in your life for him. If he is not able to grow up and be passionate about you he will wander off, true, but you will be too busy furnishing your soul and your new life to care much after a while.

Maybe not in answering the post, but the title doesn’t make much sense with the spelling mistake.

Go for it, sound bloody lovely.

because … I for one cannot take any bleat seriously when the OP twists the heading with
such a blistering mistake, quality of responses commensurate - I find it tiresome

People like @topnoddyand@Notcookie only come onto threads like this, to pick apart the OP's grammar, and mock and berate them. Bet they feel all warm and fuzzy inside now, and really clever and special, with their 'ha ha gotcha, I pointed out your error - I'm sooo clever' bullshit

And people like @FreshWinterMorning only come onto threads like this to be oh so clever and special and terribly funny with their awarding of sarky medals. 👏🏼

OP, you are too old to faff around with a man who can't be bothered. Go for the lovely flat by the sea, and take advantage of whatever social opportunities you are offered so you can make a great life for yourself. And, yes, say you're ill this weekend.

It's tedious isn't it. I wonder if those same people interrupt a free flowing conversation to say "oh no, it's presssss-e-dent, not president".

There's a time and a place (like your A level English language exam) to be pulled up on spelling and grammar; an MN thread helping someone who is upset isn't.

He doesn't sound the kind of person you'd want to co-parent with, he sounds like a child himself. I'd leave.

Studio flat by the sea sounds fab to be honest.

Ditch the manchild and enjoy your life. Good luck!

any bleat?
Just ignore those threads then.

Don't go. It would be disingenuous when you're about to dump his arse.

Anyone thick enough to not realise it's a spelling error once they've read the opening post, really shouldn't be on the internet.

I've seen a studio flat by the seaside for myself for an absolute steal and nearer to where I work. Feel like just applying for it tbh.

Do it OP, honestly you won't look back

Check if you can get a partial refund on your train ticket, some you can. It doesn’t sound like he’s wanting to commit does it

OP, go for the flat, it sounds great. And for the refund of train fare. Why not?

shame really

Well this thread's not about you so jog on, if you can find the energy.

As we used to say in my day, 'he must have of been good in bed'

Must have, or must of, or are you just hedging your grammatical bets? @Snorkmaidenn

Whoever said upthread that the OP can probably get a refund on her train ticket is right.