To think this is my queue to move out now

[Givealittlerespecttome]

After several years of renting and no plan for the future, I tell my boyfriend we need a plan and he says 'I don't know what to say.'
I'm usually the one doing all the work so he sees I'm upset then reluctantly looks at flats for all of 5 minutesethen gets bored.
I ask him hypothetically if he could see himself living with me in another 5-10 years and he sighs and says.. I don't know.. it's hard to say.
The saving grace is that our lettings agency phoned yesterday and said that we never actually signed our tenancy back in September, so technically they're only owed a month's notice.

I don't see any point in meeting his family if you are going to break up with him.

Apply for the seaside flat and move on

And to continue a OP's reasoning -
If he doesn't want to tell you it's because it's convenient for just now. You're convenient for just now.

He sounds like a teenager. Fuck him. Go and get your little place by the seaside (I'm quite envious!)

Do that.

now you can get back to the rest of your day pleased with your contribution to the thread, any thoughts on the OP relationship issue ?

Go for the flat OP. It sounds great and a better bet than your non-committed boyfriend. 🌹

The people correcting spelling are utterly pathetic.

OP, please leave this man. Be single by the seaside and find a relationship where he is committed.

Jesus! Stop considering his family! As his family they are in for a lifetime of disappointment as he blows it with one woman after another. They might as well get used to it now.

As for you its good that you asked the question and are recognizing his lack of enthusiasm as the answer it is. Definitely get your own apartment snd start living life for yourself. Never make anyone your priority when they consider you just a temporary convenience.

Definitely. He is faffing and fannying, and this is serendipity. Grab it by the balls, before you grab his and twist them for wasting your time! Good luck.

What he is thinking but not saying when you ask if he wants to live with you in 5 years is "no not really".

It's easy and convenient for him to stay and so like a lot of men, he will. It's just laziness and maybe financially easier for him to flatshare.

Find yourself somewhere nice to live and move right along.

Go for the flat - a new start by the sea, just what you need. Watching the water will help you get over your inevitable sadness, but he doesn't sound life partner material at all. You have far more get up and go, don't waste yourself on him.

Thank you everyone. He means everything to me and I feel so low. It's like you can't really know people.

Oh no, they won't have anything to contribute to the thread. People like @topnoddy and @Notcookie only come onto threads like this, to pick apart the OP's grammar, and mock and berate them. Bet they feel all warm and fuzzy inside now, and really clever and special, with their 'ha ha gotcha, I pointed out your error - I'm sooo clever' bullshit.

Have a medal each topnoddy and notcookie. Now you know how clever and special you are.

As we used to say in my day, 'he must have of been good in bed'. If you are struggling with this relationship, leave. You do not owe his family anything, so don't feel guilty. Good luck for your new future by the sea. 🚣

It is helpful. I thought this was a queuing etiquette one

Just seen your follow up posts OP.

You can do SOOOOO much better than this man. Go for the seaside flat and make a new start. You're in your 30s and he doesn't even know if he can see himself living with you in five years' time? He's a twat.

Also, playing the guitar while you're upset? I'd ditch him for that alone, the childish twat.

Don't go and see his family either. You don't owe them anything.

Does it always feel like you're trying to push a jelly up the hill with him?
Can you imagine how long it would take him to decide he was ready to have kids? How much effort he'd be prepared to put into to look after them?
Also be prepared for him to come crying for you to get back together, because life will be an awful shock when he has to deal with it for himself without you doing the admin. He'll probably say anything to get you back in your place and he might even pretend to have changed for a week or two.

OP, don't feel pressured into the weekend just because they booked a table. You sound restless and hacked off by his lacklustre attitude to life. he's not having the difficult conversations, he;s playing his guitar.

If I were you, I'd take the studio flat for 6 months to a year to sort out your life and what you want.

Do t meet his family for the first time if you think the relationship is on the way out, that's pressure you don't need either this weekend or afterwards.

I think the seaside flat has come along at the perfect time for you to make a fresh start. He doesn't sound like a long term match for you as he lacks your drive/motivation and it's really hard when you differ in that fundamental way.

In your shoes, I would part, take my little studio, save up money, and find someone more willing to build a life together.

Omg ditch him. I promise when you find the right person who is excited about the future with you it will make you wonder why you waited. Seize the day!

Oh, someone beat you to being a twat towards an upset OP?

You must be devastated.

or your cue, even?

I do understand people lacking drive/motivation and I have experienced it too. I lack the motivation to go running, stuff like that. But I don't stay with someone for years if I'm not excited or sure about a future with them.

Leave the useless bf and grab the seaside flat OP. This is fate calling you.

Coming on a thread simply to correct a language mistake like a superannuated primary school teacher is a Bad Look.

OP, I think you have been presented with a crossroads and an opportunity. The flat sounds great.