To think this is my queue to move out now

[Givealittlerespecttome]

After several years of renting and no plan for the future, I tell my boyfriend we need a plan and he says 'I don't know what to say.'
I'm usually the one doing all the work so he sees I'm upset then reluctantly looks at flats for all of 5 minutesethen gets bored.
I ask him hypothetically if he could see himself living with me in another 5-10 years and he sighs and says.. I don't know.. it's hard to say.
The saving grace is that our lettings agency phoned yesterday and said that we never actually signed our tenancy back in September, so technically they're only owed a month's notice.

New flat, new start - with the savings you'd make you can do the stuff that pleases you, that makes for a happier and more interesting person, who is out there meeting new people and instantly, this is more attractive than someone stuck in the same old blah boring rut...

Just brace yourself for your soon to be ex's sudden panicked promises that he'll change, it'll be different, etc etc. You know it won't be, do not fall for it!

Bizarre how incredibly angry some people get about spelling corrections. Says a lot about you @FreshWinterMorning @JaxiiTaxii

I'm afraid if the answer to "do you want to live with me in 5 years" isn't "yes", then it's a no. I'd leave him so you're not wasting your time.

Sorry OP, I know that's not a nice thing to hear.

👌

Dump. Passive boyfriend, passive husband, passive dad.

As soon as my husband and I said we loved eachother, we moved in (6 months). 15 years later and I can tell you not once since then would he have said that. Tells you everything.

You are either Miss Right Now or he is just so passive he will drift forever.

Choose yourself x

Did you pay for his food? He was on to a good thing!

It wasn’t a spelling mistake, it was a complete mis-use of a word.

If I was mis-using a word I’d be grateful to have it pointed out so I didn’t keep repeating the error and looking like an idiot. It’s weird to object.

What an obnoxious thing to say

It wasn't the misuse of a word. Op knew the word she wanted to use, but used the wrong version. Just like people use there for their, etc.
The usage wasn't incorrect in itself, and didn't warrant half a thread's worth of posters pointing it out.

oh behave yourself who cares or why do you care? it doesn't matter its not important.somebody was upset and typed out the wrong word every other poster saw it ignored it and answered the op with sympathy and understanding not you though you are an arsehole!

Uninterest or lack of interest. Not disinterest.

You'd be grateful yeah?

Fair enough. Next time you're really upset about something, I mean really upset, please come on here and ask for some advice and a bit of sympathy and we'll take the opportunity to criticise your grammar and you can thank us for our help, ok? 👍

That's what I thought, a supermarket spat! The OP accidentally used the incorrect word but spelt that word correctly, many don't.

Why the actual fuck has my comment been deleted?

Be that as it may: OP, you need to move on to the next chapter of your life, in which I am sure there will be a man who will be mad about you and won't waste his life on You Tube.

This!

OP you clearly have a big heart and a generous nature but you really need to start applying all that concern to yourself.

Dont settle!

You do sound lovely but so flat and sad there in the back seat of your life waiting for someone else to make it more fun.

Im sure he has some good qualities but he’s coasting and uncommitted and he cant or won’t be what you need and deserve- a loving partner who is excited to shape an amazing future with you.

Its sad to end a relationship but you will get past it and I’d be amazed if much sooner than you might imagine you are thinking what was I doing with that bloke!

Get the new flat, focus on having fun and start living. Then when the man who will adore you comes into your life you will be ready to make sure he’s everything you deserve.

Maybe you need to stop thinking about the other person in your life and concentrate on what YOU actually want first, you can't rely on someone else to make you happy, as trite as it sounds happiness really does come from within, finding that person that you really want to be with should only enhance what's already there, it sounds like he's comfortable rather than committed, so maybe it is time for a change.

Go to the viewing and start planning your future!

Then you should be very grateful to have people point out that you're not making yourself look clever, you're making yourself look like someone who has so little to boast about that they need to pounce on a homophone error when someone reaches out for help in a relationship breakdown. Surely you don't want to keep repeating that error and looking like something worse than an idiot. You're welcome.

I think you should do this. If he does see a future then perhaps he'll be happy to work in the relationship and put in some effort. And if not, you live by the coast and have a shorter commute. Win-win.

Often people aren't ready for things at the same time. You say the flat is nearer to work when you need to go in, it's by the sea, and you don't seem worried about living on your own for a bit. And if you don't manage to get that particular flat, it sounds like that possibility has given you an idea about what you want, about a change in where and how you live.

Good luck with living by the sea, and maybe meeting someone who's ready to look ahead for a relationship and other life decisions.

I was single for 5 years prior to us getting together, hopefully I'll be ok doing it again, I'm sure it will do me good. I can't criticise him for not being ready, I understand not everyone is, it just makes me feel atm like something's wrong with me. I'll take some time to work on my self esteem.
He's messaged asking how my evening is and I've informed him I won't be coming tomorrow.

and what has he said re your message that you are not going with him ?

You sound lovely. And he sounds pretty uninvested.
I was in a relationship like this, basically we did get married but with a huge level of apathy from him. I knew on honeymoon it was the wrong thing and he was always going to be lukewarm about life choices with me. We just didn’t work together.
Many years later we are both happily living the lives we wanted with totally different people.
it’s really hard to keep yourself esteem when the person who should love you the most seems indifferent but I can guarantee there’s nothing wrong with you.

No reply as of yet, I'm really nervous tbh

Get the studio flat! You aren’t well and don’t need to feel bad not going on the weekend, stress affects you physically and realising your partner can’t be bothered about you is very stressful.

You may be able to get a partial refund on your train ticket too…