Was we unreasonable to withdraw our child from a school church service?

[Dad0f1]

Hello everyone new member here just looking for some advice/reassurance that I/we've made the right decision regarding withdrawing our child from a church service at school.

So our DS who is our first child started Reception this September at our local CofE primary school and although neither myself or my OH are church goers we felt that this was the best school for him as the other practical nearby choices were a RC school or a two form entry state school which our DS would not have coped with.

And to be fair our DS has settled in nicely making lots of new friends and seems to be enjoying it however, the other week we was informed that the children would be attending a 'School Communion Service' in the nearby church that the school is attached to and not having a clue what this was I enquired with the Head of RE what the service entailed, how involved DS would be in the service and what was expected of him during the service.

As I suspected the service was in their words 'a simplified child friendly version of the Holy Communion Service' which would include bread and wine for those who were confirmed (as apparantly the children are offered the option to be confirmed if they wish in Y6) but the Reverend overseeing ther service likes to get the children involved so will offer all the children confirmed or not a wafer if they want one.
Also 'prompts' would flash up on a big screen at various points during the service to let the children know when to say 'Amen' etc.

Now to the reason why I/we chose to withdraw my DS from this service. Although the Head of RE made a point to explain that worship is voluntary at the school and that the children are free to take part in worship as much or as little as they wish. I very much doubt that children aged 4 or 5 can grasp the concept of this especially as they are at an age where they want to please the adults around them.
This is also made difficult for them not to be involved if they wish when they have 'prompts' flashing up on a big screen to help/nudge them into reciting a paticular phrase and when everyone around them is then repeating it parrot fashion.

Whilst we do want our DS to learn about Christianity we also want him to make up his own mind about whether to accept it or reject it in later life.
So AI/WBU to withdraw him from school church services that are being conducted like this or should I let him experience them bearing in mind his young age?

Muslims believe in a make believe god

i mean seriously, of course they don’t teach it like this

Right, so you do say ‘they believe x, those other people believe y’ etc. So it isn’t taught as if it’s all fact.

Faith schools have the attitude of ‘we believe this, because it’s true. They believe that- which is wrong- but they are allowed to be wrong. Be polite to them (but remember they are wrong)’

Yes. I dare say it would be possible to argue your way into the RC secondary school from out of catchment as there is usually a bit of juggling after the first round of place allocations. But the C of E primary schools in particular are just the same as any other state school. There are no faith criteria for admission. C of E schools aim to serve the whole community and to be inclusive.

A friend of my daughter is at the RC school. She’s Muslim. Perfectly happy there. She respects their faith and they respect hers.

I sometimes think that people who don’t know very much about the C of E have made it into a sort of bogeyman from somewhere in the 16th century. With the exception of some nut jobs on the evangelical wing it’s mostly so laid back as to be almost not religious at all.

Nice music though.

correct

they believe X
this school goes by Y faith
David and Odi go by Z

and so on

no right, no wrong, just different

my children’s taught about religion as..

this school follows christianity but that does not make it fact and negate other religions

and i suspect those that say otherwise either so not have children at school or are remembering their education from decades ago

Current faith schools are very embracing

They don’t need to say it blatantly though do they, they just need to teach that theirs is correct and true, and therefore logically any others are wrong. If, for example they teach that there is one God- that is a fact we believe because we are Christian- then clearly they are saying that polytheistic religions are incorrect in their belief that there are many Gods.

If I tell you it is a fact that my tshirt is green, I don’t need to add that it isn’t red or yellow or orange- I’ve told you that it is actually, definitely, factually green- therefore you know it isn’t any other colour.

It's all going a bit "What's all the fuss about? A little bit of praying never did anyone any harm!" isn't it?

Of course not.

But a Catholic school also don't generally sing Hannukah songs, have a close relationship with the nearest Synagogue etc because well, then they would be a Jewish school.

Of course the focus is going to be on Christianity at a Christian school, that's what a faith school is. Otherwise, what makes them different to a non faith school?

have you for children in a faith school?

Genuine question

yes because they say this is the faith this school ascribes to

Just like a jewish school will do the same

but it recognises that other people and schools ascribe to different faiths

the focus will be on christianity yes

but you said it’s taught “as fact”

and it patently isn’t

I think it’s the opposite actually, people who don’t know much about it and haven’t experienced it etc presume it is all just nice clapping along to a hymn once a week.

OP you sent your child to a Church school you know what you are getting - very clearly written on the tin. My husband is RC, my son went to an RC school. He sat through lots of services. He came out quite a balanced, non religious individual who knows a lot of hymns. YABU.

So there's no praying or religious worship?

“the focus is christianity”

no church services (aside from christmas carol) and once a week at assembly one class does a “Dear God” prayer

Clue’s in the name. Christianity is not taught as ‘fact’ anywhere because it is a FAITH.

So teaching that a god is real and is there to hear a prayer.

in the christian faith to which the school openly ascribes to in its admission policy - yes

Removing your child from collective worship is a right all parents have. Any of us are free to do it at any school, and no one else suffers if we do. It literally doesn’t make the slightest difference to anyone if little Jonny doesn’t go to church with school.

No clapping (at least not in my experience) but that is pretty much what it is.

The school I went to had a chapel. And we had a hymn and prayers every morning. There were Jewish and RC prayers too. We had a chapel service once a term. Those who wanted to be confirmed could be. But there were no thumbscrews and no hellfire and damnation. It was all pretty cheerful.

Christians believe that it is fact though.

I would also consider the example from pp above about the weekly Dear God prayer to be acknowledging that Christianity is the 'correct' religion.

There's a reason why they may teach about other religions but don't encourage children to pray on a mat 5 times a day as an example.

i will bow out. i think it’s just about reached head. wall. bang. time

So, yes they do teach the Christian faith as fact.

Which is exactly what I said.

I think you will find it is taught as fact in many places- that’s what faith is- knowing that your beliefs are true, I.e, a fact.

If you don’t know for sure that your beliefs are true then you are agnostic.

No. Christians have faith. They have a collective belief. That’s not the same as fact.

In my children’s C of E primary school even the prayers led by the vicar did not start Dear God. They were a moment for all the children to be quiet and reflect on being kind etc.