Was we unreasonable to withdraw our child from a school church service?

[Dad0f1]

Hello everyone new member here just looking for some advice/reassurance that I/we've made the right decision regarding withdrawing our child from a church service at school.

So our DS who is our first child started Reception this September at our local CofE primary school and although neither myself or my OH are church goers we felt that this was the best school for him as the other practical nearby choices were a RC school or a two form entry state school which our DS would not have coped with.

And to be fair our DS has settled in nicely making lots of new friends and seems to be enjoying it however, the other week we was informed that the children would be attending a 'School Communion Service' in the nearby church that the school is attached to and not having a clue what this was I enquired with the Head of RE what the service entailed, how involved DS would be in the service and what was expected of him during the service.

As I suspected the service was in their words 'a simplified child friendly version of the Holy Communion Service' which would include bread and wine for those who were confirmed (as apparantly the children are offered the option to be confirmed if they wish in Y6) but the Reverend overseeing ther service likes to get the children involved so will offer all the children confirmed or not a wafer if they want one.
Also 'prompts' would flash up on a big screen at various points during the service to let the children know when to say 'Amen' etc.

Now to the reason why I/we chose to withdraw my DS from this service. Although the Head of RE made a point to explain that worship is voluntary at the school and that the children are free to take part in worship as much or as little as they wish. I very much doubt that children aged 4 or 5 can grasp the concept of this especially as they are at an age where they want to please the adults around them.
This is also made difficult for them not to be involved if they wish when they have 'prompts' flashing up on a big screen to help/nudge them into reciting a paticular phrase and when everyone around them is then repeating it parrot fashion.

Whilst we do want our DS to learn about Christianity we also want him to make up his own mind about whether to accept it or reject it in later life.
So AI/WBU to withdraw him from school church services that are being conducted like this or should I let him experience them bearing in mind his young age?

@SouthLondonMum22 "
I don't understand how people aren't grasping the difference."

They are. It's disingenuous weaponised ignorance.

@SouthLondonMum22 may be the.case at your children’s school

sure as heck not at my children’s school

It often is at primary level- it’s high school where there are the hoops. Our nearest good cofe high requires 8 years of at least fortnightly church attendance by the child and at least one parent/guardian.

Sorry, what may be the case?

and you you don’t have any DC at school

So how come you are so convinced of this point?

that christianity is taught “as fact”

Well here all religions are respected as fact. Teachers at church of Wales don't teach Christianity as a fact and all the others as fairy tales.

We share large chunks of the bible for a start.

But I respect in England it may be quite different.

same at my children’s school in england @justasking111

and @SouthLondonMum22 doesnt have any school aged children so i’m baffled by her dogmatic approach to the issue

Because faith schools teach their religion as fact, it's part of their ethos.

I don't need to have DC at school to know that.

She has an opinion because she has principles, and knowledge because she lives in the world and knows stuff! We are not restricted to caring and learning about only that which directly affects us. I don’t have a dog, I still have an opinion on puppy farming. I’m not a man, but I have an opinion on male circumcision. I’m not straight but I have an opinion on whether straight couples should be allowed to get married. I also know how those things work and the laws around them etc… It’s quite normal to have opinions and know stuff!

People seem unable to
grasp the simple distinction between education about religion and religious endorsement.

A student can learn that it is typical for a member of the Muslim faith to pray 5 times a day. However, the school doesn’t have students roll out prayer mats and face Mecca.

Education about other religions should be no different. There is no reason that students should participate in the rituals of any one religion, especially when they only read about the rituals of others.

I also went to a faith school and have a nephew and niece at a faith school.

Only several pages ago, it was apparently a big part of the school ethos which will include religious ceremonies, praying and speaking about Christianity as fact according to many pp's arguing against OP withdrawing her son.

Which one is it?

ah you’re nothing short of an expert then 😂

as fact according to many pp's arguing against OP withdrawing her son.

One for hyperbole generally aren’t you

A couple of posters argued this and we’re vastly outweighed by opposing

Sending a couple of children to a faith school doesn't make you an expert either.

I'm simply sharing my opinion, as is everyone on here.

At my faith school teachers spoke in tongues as part of assembly and told me I was going to hell because I’m gay 🤷‍♀️ this was a mainstream c of e high school in England in the 2000s.

My sons RC primary was religious obviously but less so and in a more appropriate way… definitely taught religion as fact though.

since getting a new head has become much more strident. My 5 year old nephew who is at that school was extremely upset when my wife told him she doesn’t believe in God, because he learned at school/ school mass that you will go to hell if you don’t.

indeed

hence i do not speak as definitively or dogmatically as you.

I said that your view wasn’t the case in “my children’s school”

Whereas you are talking as though this is fact and in all faith schools

which is plainly…. nonsense

Hang on- are people now defending faith schools on the grounds that they don't really teach Christianity as truth? 🤣

certainly not ours

it’s a “faith” school insofar as christmas carol concert at local church

but recent homework asked for research on 5 religions teaching on war, and there no whiff that Christianity’s was correct

indeed it compares pretty unfavourably t! 😂

How do you teach in a way that says all religions are fact? Surely ‘they believe this and they believe that and they believe something different again, isn’t that interesting?’ is the only way to do it?

You can’t teach that death= heaven or hell, and that death = heaven or hell or purgatory, and that death = reincarnation or enlightenment, and that death = paradise and that death = top level heaven or middle level heaven or hell etc as if they are all simultaneously fact!

How do you teach in a way that says all religions are fact?

simple. It is fact to the believer

you honestly imagine a faith school would get away with saying…. judaism is made up tripe?