Page 9 | Mum STILL self-isolating

Mumofteens4892 · 2023-11-29T10:19:02+00:00

My 70yr old mum has chronic asthma and is still self isolating from COVID. I'm actually pissed off that she's not coming for Christmas for the 4th xmas in a row. She lives on her own. She lives 5 miles away and we never see her. AIBU to be utterly fed up? Her immune system will no doubt pick up any bug going, after so long not going in shops or seeing anyone at all, so she has a good point, and it would be awful if she caught something from us at xmas, but where do we go from here?

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/11/2023 08:26

ButterCrackers · 30/11/2023 08:22

Using verbal communication to explain the advantages of having these vaccinations. Simple. If the person refuses this healthcare then it’s their right to do so.

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She lives 5 miles away and we never see her

Plus if DM is still isolating two years after the vast majority of the population started living their normal lives, she doesn't actually sound amenable to reasoned explanations of what would benefit her.

Goatymum · 30/11/2023 08:27

she needs some mental health help. A friend of mine was still mega-paranoid about covid until earlier this year. She had cbt on the nhs and she’s much better now. It means she can go to events, etc.

BluebellsForest · 30/11/2023 08:34

Her immune system will no doubt pick up any bug going, after so long not going in shops or seeing anyone at all, so she has a good point*

You don't need to worry about this as this is not how immune systems work. It's just been picked up by the media and run with.

This is a good summary. Screenshot covers it for individuals.

www.ft.com/content/0640004d-cc15-481e-90ce-572328305798

firef1y · 30/11/2023 08:50

CapeeshKitty · 30/11/2023 07:45

My DS has severe asthma and after he had Covid he blew his biggest ever peak flow & continued to do so!

He went from regular hospital visits to 6 monthly GP reviews.

But he's 9 not 70

Anecdotal I know, but my breathing improved massively when I had suspected covid (I never tested positive but had symptoms and everyone else in the house did). My hay-fever also disappeared for 2 weeks, it was fabulous.

Now whatever I had Christmas 19, that did affect my heart rate rather than breathing, 2months later my hr was still jumping in to the 180s doing things that would usually only take it up in the 140s

Calliopespa · 30/11/2023 09:04

DrMarshaFieldstone · 30/11/2023 08:04

It's understandable that, for a vulnerable person, living cautiously means constant risk assessment and making choices about things that they can and cannot do. What is clearly very hurtful for the OP is that her mum's choices don't include seeing her or her grandchildren except on very rare occasions. I would find that painful. This seems to have been lost in yet another Covid thread where folk can't resist chucking around inflammatory terms like 'idiots', 'hysterics', 'biohazard' etc etc.

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Yes, as I said “she needs to see GP and family from time to time.” That aspect is not healthy. But this idea that gets thrown out in these types of threads that a life not lived in the pub/ at the shopping mall/ out at clubs/ on a cruise is not a life at all, but mere “existence” is overstepping.

RantyAnty · 30/11/2023 10:21

BluebellsForest · 30/11/2023 08:34

Her immune system will no doubt pick up any bug going, after so long not going in shops or seeing anyone at all, so she has a good point*

You don't need to worry about this as this is not how immune systems work. It's just been picked up by the media and run with.

This is a good summary. Screenshot covers it for individuals.

www.ft.com/content/0640004d-cc15-481e-90ce-572328305798

Glad you pointed this out.

Immune systems remain pretty solid and aren't thrown off by something so mundane as staying in your house.

CityLass · 30/11/2023 10:53

Ginmonkeyagain · 30/11/2023 07:01

@CityLass I assume you are happy for everyone else who supports stay at home life styles to be "infected with level 3 biohazards"? People who supply your energy, broadband and food etc.. cannot work from home. If everyone behaved like you and the OP's mum the country would collapse.

Most people are not getting covid all the time. I have had all the vaccines I am eligible for (3) and have been out and about as much as I was allowed all through lockdown and got back to normal asap (I live in London so have to use crowded public transport) and have been to music festivals, crowded pubs etc..

I have had covid precisely once. I had a tickly throat and was a bit thirsty for a few days.

Mr Monkey works in retail in central London and has never had covid - even when he had to share close quarters with me when I was infected.

I get more vulnerable people need to be a bit more cautious but that was the same before with other viruses. Winter flu killed tens of thousands of vulnerable people every winter before covid and you didn't get this sort of hysteria. People got jabbed and those who were vulnerable were careful.

Edited

You’ll learn it’s vastly more than a tickly throat and it will be people such as yourself who’ll end up being the burden on society - not those who have kept themselves out of harm’s way. But carry on and you do you.

CityLass · 30/11/2023 10:54

Goatymum · 30/11/2023 08:27

she needs some mental health help. A friend of mine was still mega-paranoid about covid until earlier this year. She had cbt on the nhs and she’s much better now. It means she can go to events, etc.

Oh the ignorance.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 30/11/2023 11:07

You’ll learn it’s vastly more than a tickly throat and it will be people such as yourself who’ll end up being the burden on society - not those who have kept themselves out of harm’s way. But carry on and you do you.

I'd rather take my chances than live some sort of half life being afraid to leave the house. I appreciate there are some people who have always been happy to stay at home and that's fine, it's the ones who have been scared into not leaving their homes or doing things they enjoy that I feel sorry for. I'm so glad for my elderly Uncle that we've been able to take him to the theatre and he can go out and about on his own or with his partner without being frightened.

CharityShopChic · 30/11/2023 11:18

I have had covid twice - first time properly diagnosed by a PCR - and it was indeed a tickly throat and heavy cold for a couple of days. All this "you'll soon learn" - what have I got to learn exactly, having had it twice? Life is inherently risky and has a 100% fatality rate eventually. It's interesting that some anxious people have made Covid the hook for their health anxiety rather than other illnesses.

TrashedSofa · 30/11/2023 11:26

Covid can be anything from totally asymptomatic to fatal. Surely we should all know that very well after nearly four years!

TempestTost · 30/11/2023 11:33

CityLass · 30/11/2023 06:21

Her life, her choices. Since when are we living in a Communist state?

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Because she's showing signs of significant metal illness, and the OP cares about her.

How long since you've been out?

Hobnobswantshernameback · 30/11/2023 11:33

I have an immuno suppressed child
They go to school, work part time, socialise
Their medical team has placed no restrictions on them
the contrary in fact
They have to have regular vaccinations and would be advised to test if symptomatic as they are eligible for anti virals
I do think some people enjoy the apparent "virtue" of their monastic lives
my family member wouldn't even think about isolating from life, the lockdowns were bad enough
Im Intrigued how many of these still isolating types used to spend every winter at home pre-covid

TempestTost · 30/11/2023 11:41

BluebellsForest · 30/11/2023 08:34

Her immune system will no doubt pick up any bug going, after so long not going in shops or seeing anyone at all, so she has a good point*

You don't need to worry about this as this is not how immune systems work. It's just been picked up by the media and run with.

This is a good summary. Screenshot covers it for individuals.

www.ft.com/content/0640004d-cc15-481e-90ce-572328305798

That's an opinion.

Then there are the kids that had liver failure due to lack of exposure to certain pathogens during covid, or what they have discovered about why leukemia seems more common in developed countries.

You also might think about the processes that make vaccinations work in the first place.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/11/2023 11:49

You’ll learn it’s vastly more than a tickly throat and it will be people such as yourself who’ll end up being the burden on society - not those who have kept themselves out of harm’s way. But carry on and you do you

I'm just here for the 'and you'll end up gasping on a ventilator.'

It seems the 'I'm taking all possible precautions not to catch or transmit covid so that makes me such a good morally superior person to all you people going out and killing grannies' mindset is still alive and well. So to speak.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/11/2023 11:50

Incidentally my covid was a sore throat, albeit one that felt like I was swallowing knives rather than a tickle.

Behindyouiam · 30/11/2023 11:51

@Fullofcaffeine not visiting the optician can mean the missing of diagnosis of other health issues though. It's not just about sight.

Fullofcaffeine · 30/11/2023 11:51

Hobnobswantshernameback · 30/11/2023 11:33

I have an immuno suppressed child
They go to school, work part time, socialise
Their medical team has placed no restrictions on them
the contrary in fact
They have to have regular vaccinations and would be advised to test if symptomatic as they are eligible for anti virals
I do think some people enjoy the apparent "virtue" of their monastic lives
my family member wouldn't even think about isolating from life, the lockdowns were bad enough
Im Intrigued how many of these still isolating types used to spend every winter at home pre-covid

Not all immunosuppression is the same. It depends on the drugs used or condition causing immunosuppression, whether the vaccines work, age and other comorbidities. Some immunosuppressed are still very vulnerable.

ButterCrackers · 30/11/2023 11:56

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 30/11/2023 08:26

She lives 5 miles away and we never see her

Plus if DM is still isolating two years after the vast majority of the population started living their normal lives, she doesn't actually sound amenable to reasoned explanations of what would benefit her.

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5 miles is not far away.
Some forms of asthma are really hard to manage and illness can be deadly.

Fullofcaffeine · 30/11/2023 11:56

Behindyouiam · 30/11/2023 11:51

@Fullofcaffeine not visiting the optician can mean the missing of diagnosis of other health issues though. It's not just about sight.

I don't know where you live but in the UK loads of people don't visit an optician very often or at all, particularly those that have perfect vision without glasses. I bet many of the people on this thread haven't visited an optician recently regardless if whether they are "isolating "

BluebellsForest · 30/11/2023 12:09

Then there are the kids that had liver failure due to lack of exposure to certain pathogens during covid

You have a reference for that? As it appears to be the opposite, as in it is linked to Covid infections:

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2949928323000093

The 'immunity debt' after Covid lockdowns idea is very much an opinion though. Not science-based.

(Sorry, to go a bit off-topic on your thread, OP. But it would be awful if your mum felt she was at more risk due to 'immunity debt' when there is no need for her to.)

Behindyouiam · 30/11/2023 12:12

@Fullofcaffeine more fools them, but it doesn't make it right!

Lots of people smoke, drink too much are obese etc etc, doesn't make it a wise decision.

www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/opticians/visiting-an-optician/#:~:text=Your%20eyes%20rarely%20hurt%20when,your%20ophthalmic%20practitioner%20or%20optometrist).

Fullofcaffeine · 30/11/2023 12:19

Behindyouiam · 30/11/2023 12:12

@Fullofcaffeine more fools them, but it doesn't make it right!

Lots of people smoke, drink too much are obese etc etc, doesn't make it a wise decision.

www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/opticians/visiting-an-optician/#:~:text=Your%20eyes%20rarely%20hurt%20when,your%20ophthalmic%20practitioner%20or%20optometrist).

The link doesn't suggest that everyone goes for regular visits to the opticians even if they have perfect vision. The tests are not free on the NHS between the ages of 18 and 60.

Needmoresleep · 30/11/2023 12:24

As I said upthread. Domiciliary optician.

They come to your house and also check for things like cataracts etc which affect older people.

Drhow · 30/11/2023 12:27

My Grandma is the same but I think even worse than your Mum because she won’t even visit a hairdresser or have a mobile one visit so her hair hasn’t been done for almost 4 years. She’s had all of her vaccines but she’s terrified about catching it so the only time she leaves is to go to church once a week when it’s a quiet service and to the dentist… She gets her food and prescriptions delivered just like your Mum and she won’t even go for a walk around the block. When we visit she won’t let us in the house so we have to talk to her through an open window…

Extremely worried about her mental state but unsure what on Earth we can do at this point. I’ve offered to take a lateral flow, show her the test and wear a mask before I visit but she isn’t satisfied with that.